
As usual, before going to bed, Reza and I enjoyed relaxing on the couch. But instead of being able to relax, my legs actually feel numb and increasingly sore. I need to be alone first, I thought. I had to overcome this aching, or, otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to sleep all night and would have fallen ill instead.
"I went to the room first, yes, Mas" I said.
Stupefied. Reza was a bit gawking for a moment, perhaps he was astonished. "You sleepy? Lay here first, honey. Bobo's on my lap, yuk?" he said while patting his thigh. "Let's go to the room."
Ah, I really want if only my feet don't ache. "I'm going to my room" I whine. "You watch it first, it's okay."
"Correct?"
I'm nodding. "Yes," I said. "You don't sleep too late."
He nodded back. "Done this event later I went straight to the room," he said.
"OKAY. I'm up, yeah."
Arriving in the room, I opened the drawer and I took the massage oil, then applied it to my legs, waist, and back. While sorting my calves I thought about what my answer would be if Reza later asked me why, because he could definitely smell the oil massage later if he went into the room. Why the fatigue? What did you end up doing? What is the reason? I don't want to lie.
Lo? Its alright. He lied to you a lot, didn't he? Just reply....
I finally decided to close my eyes to avoid Reza's questions. Just look at tomorrow - - if he still asks, maybe tomorrow I can be honest.
But reality says otherwise, I can't sleep at all. Even until the night was late, numbness and aches were increasingly collaborating to produce aches and pains all over my body, not to mention the fear of it affecting my womb. If it was daytime - I could go to the spa. Since it was late at night and I did not want to disturb Reza with my anxiety plus the pungent aroma of the oil-types, I came out of the room and sat on the sofabed, sofabed, I felt the pain I was suffering from my own actions and stupidity. And had I been near my mother - my body would not have been this sick, I would not have been reluctant to ask her to massage me, for she would not have let me bear all this on my own.
That night I huddled alone crying and contemplating: this is how my mother felt when she was pregnant. And if I had never asked my mother how my father behaved when she was pregnant, I would have been brave and would not hesitate to ask Reza to massage me.
A moment later, with thirst and a choking throat - I was shoved down into the kitchen to drink, afterwards I kept quiet and sat on the sofa in the dining room - whimpering alone.
"Why you?"
Habits! Reza's voice that appeared suddenly in the middle of the night shocked me. I rushed to guess the tears were actually free, because Reza had already seen it. He sat on his knees beside me.
"Darling, why are you crying? Am I wrong?" His eyes looked at me anxiously. "If I have done something wrong, please tell me. Don't be quiet like this. Story, yes, please?"
I shook my head and wiped the tears that fell back on my cheeks.
What am I supposed to say?