INSECURE, Love of the Past
Koma

It's been three days Indra was treated but not yet conscious as well. The doctor said his condition was worsening. I'm shock. Every time I go home from school I always go to the Hospital first to see the condition of Indra.

In school I did not concentrate on taking lessons. To the extent that Daffa always surprised me because it often daydreamed. Now every day I go home with Daffa and go to the hospital first.

I sat down beside Indra who was lying down. I held her weak, helpless hand, I kissed her hand, and I rubbed her face gently.

Indra.. Are you listening to me?

Please realize that I do not want to lose you Indra.. Ilove you.. I love you..

God save Indra..

I kept praying in my heart for Indra's safety. Remember all the good memories with Indra. When in class, when playing to Curug, when we go to the lake.. All those flashbacks are popping up in my head..

You are the best Indra, you are truly my true love. I can't love anyone else but you, baby.. You are always in my heart, whether now or later you are a star in my heart. No one can take your place in my heart.

Tears kept flowing down my cheeks. Daffa who was standing behind me gave me a tissue. She was also sad, she cried seeing her cousin lying weak like this. She hugged me, Daffa hugged me and wiped my tears. The attitude that Indra always treated me with, she tried to comfort me and said,

"Prophe Mar, I'm sad too. But I know you're strong, I'll always be there for you."

I tried to let go of her embrace, but Daffa instead tightened her embrace. He looked into my puffy eyes because of the constant crying, he wiped my tears that kept flowing.

"Indra must be sad to see you like this Mar."

"You don't know what I'm feeling. I lost someone precious to me."

Daffa let go of his embrace. "I know Mar, I understand. But if you keep going, how does Indra want the spirit to survive?".

I'm unmoving.

Duck.

And my whole body feels so weak.

I can't stand God, why did you give me this great trial.

The senses did not move at all. He doesn't respond to everything I say..

What was the dream at that time...

Flashbacks

I lost energy, even just to make a sound I couldn't. Why is this? What really happened.

I kept screaming for Indra's name but Indra's figure was fading..

Keep fading...

.

.

.

And...

.

.

.

Gone... !!

I'm yelling.. INDRAAAA..

That dream.. Is that a sign that I will part with Indra this soon? This is as soon as God. Wh why? Why did you present someone who loved and loved me so much as sincerely, but you took it back when I really loved her too.

This pain is the God I feel. I beg you to heal Indra, save Indra..

Mom came with Mom, Dad and Riri. They were waiting for me outside the room. Only two people are allowed to see the patient. I kissed Indra's forehead, kissed her cheek which felt very cold.

Daffa saw me kissing Indra, he turned his face away. I don't know what he's thinking, I don't care. I went out with Daffa and hugged my mother. My mom and I cried together. We strengthen each other so that Indra can be immediately aware of her coma.

I saw my father's face growing pale and Mamah looked at me softly. It seems that mamah is also not willing to lose Indra who is like a mother's own child.

Good and polite senses make mamah like looking at the figure of papah. Is this what you felt when you lost Papah first? So that mamah can only rise a few years after papah left. Now I understand what it feels like. Staying by a loved one, that's the most painful thing.

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