INSECURE, Love of the Past
Losing Indra

* POV Daffa

I saw him kissing Indra. Why does my heart hurt? I can't baper. He belongs to Indra, forever is it. No matter what happens, Maria is still part of Indra. I can't like Maria, but I have to take care of her. For the sake of our brotherhood, I will take care of your lover Dra..

I really can't bear to see him continue to grieve. Every day he was crying, and now he was more quiet than usual. All lessons are down in value, even the focus is lost when the teacher explains the lesson. Even since Indra first entered the hospital he has not eaten at all, his body looks thinner and thinner.

When the uncle and aunt were inside, they screamed because Indra's heartbeat stopped. Uncle called the doctor, everything went into a panic. Maria even lost control could not control her emotions.

I just kept quiet, trying to calm Maria down. I pulled her hand so she was patient and didn't thrash around to get inside. I held her tiny hand. I told him to sit down and pray. Do not let other patients be disturbed because of our uproar. He finally complied and sat in the waiting chair.

Soon the doctor came out and gave us all the bad news. I was shocked, and I was devastated.

* POV Daffa End*

***

We all panicked because of Indra's condition that was getting dropped. The doctor then enters the room and tries to save Indra. Mom and Dad looked restless on the outside, as did me and mom.

A few minutes later the doctor came out. We asked about Indra's condition.

"Dok, how's my son?" Ask mom and dad.

"The condition of the mother's child, can not be saved. Forgive us, we have done our best but God wills another. Excuse me."

Whahuh?

The senses?

There's no more?

Empty gazes. I can't believe this, is this a dream? I must be dreaming, right?

Mamah hugged me who was sitting languidly on the floor tightly and strengthened me. We all cry over losing Indra so pitifully. I really lost it. Wh why? Why Oh God?

My head is so dizzy. I went into Indra's room and I hugged his corpse which had been stiffened. That handsome face, his smile that always adorns my days, his gentle gaze calms my heart. Am I willing to lose you Dra.?

You promised to stay with me until marriage, but why did you leave so soon? Why can't you survive to live with me Dra. Does our destiny have to be like this? Are we not destined to be together?

Mother followed behind, mother rubbed my head and hugged me. She still cries, and so do I. What a heart-slicing sight. All mourning the loss of Indra forever.

I love and love Indra very much, but God loves her more. God took the good man and Sholeh returned to Him. I will try to be sincere, O God, even though I think this is very painful. It hurts so much that I hurt my own heart. If and if only I could blame this time.

If I had waited for Indra, if I hadn't crossed, if I hadn't taken a peek, this wouldn't have happened. And you must still be alive Indra, it's my fault. All's fault. I've made us part. I'm sorry Indra.

***

The next day Daffa and I did not go to school, we went to Indra's funeral. There seem Indra schoolmates helped deliver Indra to his final resting place.

I still can't believe I've really lost it. When his body was put into a burrow, my cries broke even more. Mamah tried to calm me down, while father tried to calm the mother who was crying hysterically just like me.

After all, my mother, mother, father and Daffa were still there. I hold the gravestone emblazoned with Indra's name there. Tears wet the ground that is still red. I'm still not sincere. The most beautiful memories with Indra were reflected in my head.

Why is it so hard to be sincere, O Allah. Please give me the strength to face all this. I don't want to continue to fall because I lost Indra. Give me great patience and sincerity, so that I may be able to live this life again.

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