Losing Us
Keep This As A Secret

“Do not tell Mommy.” It was the first sentence Anara heard just after Arsenio had finished telling her the reason why she had to be rushed to the hospital.

She was declared pregnant. The content has entered the age of 7 weeks, and nausea that he experienced in the morning and afternoon is a natural thing for pregnant women in the first trimester of pregnancy. Her body condition dropped because Anara was too stubborn by not eating anything for a day, so the nausea she felt was getting worse.

Anara took a deep breath, then looked down at her own stomach. Being a mother was one of his greatest desires when he was a teenager. However, when it finally materialized, he did not feel happy at all. In his head, he asked the question: how can it be? How could the fetus be present in his stomach with just one experiment? In fact, he didn't ask for it. God also knew that this child would not be wanted by his father, so why would He still allow this child to exist?

“Please keep this for both of us, while I find the solution.” Arsenio spoke again.

Anara smiled faintly at Arsenio's words. “Solution? What kind of solution do you mean?” tanyanya turned her head towards Arsenio who was sitting on the chair beside the bed. “Filling this child before Mommy and Olin know?”

He hoped that Arsenio would shake her head. Because even though this child is not wanted to exist, Anara wants to keep believing that at least Arsenio still has a little humanity to not hurt their innocent baby. However, Anara was made to grimace when Arsenio did not give a reaction. As if the solution he will offer is indeed a matter of eliminating the fetus that Anara conceived.

“We can't have children.” And the sentence cut Anara's heart so deeply, making her bleed. “Gue still want to continue my relationship with Olin, An. And the child ... the child will make everything fall apart.”

For the second time, Anara took a deep breath, filling her chest until it bulged before exhaling very slowly. From the beginning, there was never anything happy about this forced marriage. Everything went with reluctance, both from him and Arsenio. Even the night when they became close to each other physically, in fact they were still unable to knock down the barrier that Arsenio had built so high since the beginning.

“Kita—“

It wasn't easy, but Anara had been thinking about this for the past few days. Nothing could be forced from this marriage anymore, so the age of their marriage was still in a matter of months, he thought it was better this marriage was soon completed. There will always be a reasonable reason to end it. He also believes Mother is not a selfish person who will still ask them to survive if they are honest that their marriage is not going well.

Somehow in the future, Anara would think about it later. Savings from the inheritance left by his parents can still support him and his future baby until the next few years. At least, he could use that while thinking about where else he could get the money from.

“It won't be that easy, Anara. Bunda—“

“Mother definitely knows.” Anara interrupted. He stared intensely at Arsenio, diving into the dark bead that was now full of obvious worry. “I will say the same Mother if our marriage is never going well since the beginning.”

“And Mommy will directly blame me.” Arsenio chuckled, laughing at her fate which had always been in a guilty position. “Lo knows how much Mommy is more pro to lo.”

“So you want me how?” Anara is tired. It felt, he wanted to shout out a bursting feeling in his chest. It was just that, he no longer had enough energy to do so. “Tell me, how should I go?” and the question did not get an answer because Arsenio instead silent a thousand languages.

Seriate