Losing Us
Survive Or Leave

"What did you say just now?"

Arsenio again broke her rough face. The big decision he had taken was to tell Olin the truth. About Anara's pregnancy, also about the choices that Mother gave to her.

"Don't joke, Gal. You know I've been stressed out thinking about our relationship going forward." Olin gasped, pulling the leather jacket that Arsenio was wearing until the man inevitably returned his gaze. "Say that you're just my prank again."

But unfortunately, what he got was even a sigh that made his heart more slashed. Doesn't that mean that what Arsenio said earlier is true, not just a joke?

Limply. Olin's hand that was originally gripping Arsenio's leather jacket instantly fell onto the lap. Even with his empty gaze that also fell without a bow.

"You're bad, Gal." He said, for that is all that can come out of his lips. It was too much disappointment that he felt, so that there was no more form of abuse or protest that he could have voiced.

While before him, Arsenio lowered her head even deeper. His tangled face was no longer cluttered, even with his gray hair that was already messy.

"I'm so sorry, Lin." Though he knew, a thousand words of apology would not be enough to reunite what he had destroyed. His apology was useless, because everything was already messed up.

"Gugurne." Suddenly, Olin raised his face. Before long, following Arsenio did the same thing with a clear look of surprise.

"Came,"

"Gugurin aja." Olin repeated his proposal. "You said it wasn't on purpose, right? You're drunk and half conscious when I do it. Just fall, Gal. You can have another child later, just like me."

Arsenio wanted that too. Previously, he also wanted to reject the presence of the child because he did not feel ready to become a father. But seeing how Anara struggled so hard to keep the child growing in her stomach, it didn't even matter if their marital status had to end even if it had changed Arsenio's decision. He wanted the boy. He wanted the innocent soul to remain born into the world, regardless of how it was originally presented in Anara's womb.

"No way, Lin."

"Why can't you?!" sergeant Olin. His shoulders rose and fell, along with the anger that was rising over him. "You said it wasn't on purpose?! Then why can't it be stolen?!"

"Mother already knows," said Arsenio, and she looked down again.

That's not a lie. The real Mother already knows about Anara's pregnancy, because she herself has conveyed the news to Mother. As soon as she returned home from the hospital, Arsenio drove her car to her mother's residence, to say that she would not let go of Anara because there was flesh blood in her womb.

Mother was happy half to die when she knew she would have grandchildren, and it made Arsenio not have the heart to go back to messing up.

"I can't make you sad, Lin."

"But you make me sad!" Olin landed a blow on Arsenio's chest, crashing until the man's body was pushed back and nearly fell off the couch. "You ruined me, Gala! You made a promise to keep me the same! You're evil!"

"I know, I'm sorry." Despite knowing the apology was useless, Arsenio still said it. For he had nothing else to say to the lover whose heart he had broken in the worst possible way.

Punch after punch Arsenio still received, until he finally felt his punch began to weaken along with Olin's increasingly broken cry. The girl's body slumped to the floor, her shoulders trembled violently and a mouthful of grief sounded so heart-wrenching.

...****************...

In the dim lighting of the room, Anara laid her body facing the balcony. His right arm is used as a pedestal, while his left arm rests on the stomach, his palm moves to wipe the place where the fetus is growing.

"I don't know what's going on, but if he's just making you sick, you better go."

The words of Aksara before they parted in the hospital lobby again ringed in the ears. It felt so real, as if the man was actually beside her.

"Being a single mother is hard, but it's a lot harder to survive a marriage just to make your child have a full family while you're suffering."

"Trust me, An. If the foundation is not good, no matter how hard you try to survive, you will only get countless pains. Not only you, but your son. You may not know, but seeing two divorced parents sometimes feels better than seeing them stay in the same house, but already with a different vision of mission."

"I know, I don't have the right to talk much, let alone we haven't met for a long time and certainly have a lot of things that you experienced during that time. But, An, if you need anything, please don't hesitate to look for me. Time may have passed, but I am still the same script you met years ago. I'm still Pradipta Aksara, your friend you can count on."

"And leaving this marriage status can be as easy as you propose, Sa." Because in reality, nothing is really easy. Even when he was heartened to offer a divorce, Arsenio wasted time saying later.

Anara also wants to stop. She also wants to live alone with her baby, as long as she is calm and happy. But it seems that Arsenio does not like to see him happy. The man may have deliberately held her longer because he wanted to make her suffer. It was a kind of revenge attempt because he had been carelessly entering into the man's life and messing things up.

The doctor said, Anara can't think much. But what happened was the opposite. Everything spins randomly in the head, making his brain that is not how big is forced to work harder to unravel things that are tangled. Just to end up getting noisier.

Drrt drrt

The sound of the message notification made Anara turn quickly towards the nightstand. His phone lit up for a few seconds, giving off a blue-colored glow before it went back out and made his room come back dim.

Anara grabs her phone, presses the screen twice until it turns on. Through a notification pop-up, he found Arsenio's name appearing there. With a line of sentences that only Anara can read a few words.

I'm not going home tonight...

Take a deep breath, exhale. Anara decided not to read the message that Arsenio sent her in its entirety. After all, it seemed like he already knew what Arsenio was about to say. The man will definitely stay at Olin's apartment, that's why he can't go home. Where else would the man go, if not his girlfriend?

"It's okay, An. You have no right to forbid. Let Arsenio go as she pleases, you just need to find a way to get your divorce taken care of." Beres said so, Anara pulled the blanket up to the neck. The phone had him back on the nightstand, after making sure the power was off so there would be no more interruptions.

Slowly, Anara closed her eyes, trying to remove any bad thoughts from her head and trying to focus only on her pregnancy.

Seriate...

The intact Chat Arsenio...