My Beloved
chapter 64

"hasbyyy woke up.look at it" said Jesika and pointed at the mattress he was sleeping on, apparently already flooded with water mixed with blood coming out of Jesika.

"astagfirullahal adzim, what is this liquid yank? you want to give birth now, do you feel mules - mules or pain yank??

said deva panic,,,

"well, there's no sense of mules only pain in the section ****** as if his dede wants out now" said Jesika

"i called the midwife first, afraid it's just a false contraction, let the midwife check later, but you don't hurt yank?"

"no by, I'm fine just sometimes the pain of infiltrating down was felt but only intermittently"

the phone kept calling but none of the phones were missed, time showed half 1 in the morning, but,want to be taken to the hospital was certainly only a guard officer so do not want deva continue to try to contact midwives who usually check the pregnancy Jesika,, already more than 10 calls not answered, he said,finally deva was reckless to bring Jesika to the house of the midwife ,

luckily Jesika is still in a state of calm, there are no complaints/whistles whatsoever so deva can calm down also take Jesika to the midwife's house...

jesika's current gestational age, just entering the age of 8 months, maybe if it's time to give birth then the child will be born prematurely....

along the way deva unceasingly continues to say prayers and jesikapun do the same,,there are only the two of them because both parents jesika happened to ask for permission to go home first because there is a business that must be resolved immediately,,usually both parents always stay at the house Jesika afraid that Jesika began to feel the signs of labor...

*

tok tok tok. (the door of the midwife house continues on tap ).

deva who panicked because the door did not open , while the Jesika looks to have begun to fidget, and did not find a comfortable sitting position...

"still lama??am I gonna be on this porch by?"

"astagfirullahal adzim, sabar cayank, I'm again trying to wake up his midwife, hold on a little more cayank, I beg you"

deva continued to try to knock on doors and windows and even climbed up so that the sound of the call was louder,, lucky soon afterwards, the midwife opened the door and Jesika soon entered the delivery room,,,, and,,,

"mother, the body of the baby has been seen to want to come out, hurry up the midwife" said Jesika when he arrived at the delivery bed

"patiently I was not ready to wear self-equipment, the gloves were not yet installed"

"but this mom is out"

finally, immediately the midwife approached the jesika and labor occurred,,

approximately 2 hours finally the baby can be removed completely despite the condition of the baby is lifeless, because in addition to premature birth, the baby is also in a breech state, as well,so that comes out first is the foot not the head.

**

"cayank, you must be strong yes, kikhlasin dede maybe we have not been trusted to be parents,,"

"hiks hyks hyks, why should he be born if he is to leave us?you know, by, why would we want to have a child, but he's leaving us now,, hysterical hyx"

"istigfar cayank, all this is fate, you must be strong, the child is a deposit, not ours, if you are pregnant, I who seek nutrition for it. It is still not ours,,,,, it is not ours,,,

maybe alloh more dear to our children in our appeal so alloh take back our children by allowing you to conceive before,"

said deva while hugging jesika tightly, and before long Jesika's parents came and asked their baby

in cool baby's body should be buried immediately then the child immediately brought home by Jesika parents to be buried immediately,,while Jesika himself still had to be restrained in the midwife's house because he was afraid something happened to him.so Jesika must be restrained first in order to be in control of his condition.

jesikapun allowed to go home because there are no complaints or something to worry about...

when he got home, his body was still not buried, because there were still many people who mourned...

jesika braced herself to hold the baby she gave birth to earlier, even if she felt failed, because she was too weak to push so that the baby did not quickly come out....

tears continue to pour down the cheeks of Jesika .

and before long, the person who buried came and immediately brought the baby's body....

deva carried the body and took it to a public cemetery...

**

various tips and words of heart medicine continue to be heard in the ears of Jesika,,

"patient yes yes yes, you are strong, do not drag on in grief, do not worry your child will be your savings in the afterlife, he will invite you to enter his paradise alloh...so stay grounded and learn what happened today and yesterday

hopefully tomorrow is better, and you can be more patient, stronger and soon get a replacement who sholeh and sholeh later" said one of the mourners

her seikhlas-ikhlas a mother let go of her son remains in her little heart there is little pain and disappointment in herself...

if ,, if time can be turned back, he wants to fix everything, never ignore the health of his fetus and

will always pay attention to the growth and development of the baby in his womb,,,

it is selfishness, which still dominates a mother,,, that,,,

jesika really wanted to hear himself called "mama" but that used to be. now her confidence began to disappear, jesika did not deserve to be called mama, because she had failed to be a parent, because she had failed to be a parent,

he is too burdening his child with the hope after his child is born then all the child has to do is this way....

without him realizing that at that time his son was still in his womb Jesika, who still needed nutrition and nutrition from his mother, his mother should be the one who filled in first what he needed,,instead of thinking about what his son should do to meet the needs of his mother,,,

"pardon mom son,,,,

because of mom's selfishness, you weren't given permission to see the world first...

forgive the mother who has burdened you by harboring great hopes for you, while you yourself still have to fight for your growth...

please don't hate my mother, son, because I'm quite tormented by your loss...

I'm quite sad to see your last condition...

happy are you there baby, hug the kiss from mom for you....

I love you son and

mommy loves you."

the outpouring of jesika's heart was written in an ordinary book in which she poured out her heart other than to her husband....