My Beloved Perjaka
Hammer ketok.

Bathed in the sunlight that shone into the porch of the house, I closed my eyes. The warmth created by the Creator.

On this porch, I half expected Papi Narendra to come back to this house, warming my silent morning. Cancel his plans to separate. Suddenly it occurred to me that during the separation of the bed yesterday papi just went to work, let me at home waiting for him then later he came home carrying one souvenir typical of his work visit.

I'd love anything that Narendra's papi gave me, but it looks like to this day that a divorce trial will happen when Narendra disappears, disappears, invisible to his nose let alone the other trunk, until I like living in a paradox that is difficult to explain—antara believe and will not break up this–and I have to fight hard to free myself from it.

I opened my eyes. Grabbing a pot of red roses that papi Narendra planted next to me. There are two flowers that are in bloom. The smell stifled my chest, making it harder for me to forget.

I inhaled a deep breath and saw the relics of Papi Narendra that were still fertile in the courtyard of the house. The almost forty-year-old man loved to plant, loved to garden, every afternoon if he was free he would water his flowers.

"O Papi, it's only been five years that we've been fighting together. What little love do you have for your mom?"

I sniffled, it wasn't my fault, it wasn't our fault, but I didn't dare blame the universe either.

My tears fell unstoppably to the ground in a pot.

This pot smothered his chest. I slammed it until all the dirt and clay pots were scattered on the floor.

"Madam" said Bi Marni with a hasty face. "Why lady?"

"Remember all the ornamental plants you bought, Bi. Everyone, all clothes to the car. We're taking everyone to court!" I replied angry and desperate.

"But madam sure you're in court later?"

Wear it in question, obviously I don't know. My number was blocked and all the important things that I still have to deal with are just his aides.

I shook my hands, wanted him to come or be represented by his lawyer I did not care what was important this house must be free from the plants that are now not at all beautiful. It broke my eyes and my peace of heart.

"Good, madam. Aunt is ready to carry out. But–mobilnya load?"

Alamakkk, forgot. My move was interrupted by that statement. My car is matic, mini also where fit.

I see it's still three hours to go through the trial. I went out of the house, went to RT sir's house because there was a pick up car. So I borrow it without a driver so I can support it myself.

"Bi Marni, yuhuyyy, put it all there. Ask the complex security guard to help me." I said as I lowered my eyebrows. Starting to be crazy because the face of this damp makes RT pak iba to the point of being offered breakfast everything in his house earlier.

Basic old widower. Sorry sir, not level. I'm a fresh nyari, which is seger and hard like a young coconut. Don't be old, you can papi Narendra laugh.

Bi Marni who had collected as flower pots on the terrace agreed.

I went into the house, into the room, into the locker room that had two large cabinets filled with my clothes and Papi Narendra.

I sat pensively, recalling the feelings that had occurred in the room in Narendra's manners in this masculine style.

Sometimes on this sofa we love each other, joke, prepare each other work clothes with the color we want. That's as loving and ridiculous as I was with Papi Narendra. But it all ended with parting, and I don't know yet another reason why she wanted it sooner than we both had when the shot still failed in my womb.

"Auntie, papi's clothes are not brought to court. I'll sell some of it to be a man. It's good to buy rice to pay for electricity." I shouted from the window.

"Ready, Daddy." Bi Marni nodded then lifted the large pot into the car tub grimacing wide.

•••

Two hours passed, I was beautiful wearing a red dress lit like a rose papi Narendra into a pick up car. Carrying this car I feel like I'm not like Bella Ellis, I'm just like a heartbroken woman looking for attention.

"Yes, yes, Nyah. If you have asked for separation already, do not be forced to continue. Aunty can only pray without father, mistress can still style."

I laughed miserably, something from the speech tickled something near my heart.

"Stay in the style of Bella Ellis, remain stylish despite being a widow. Haha." I encouraged myself while turning the car keys.

On the way that seized my entire concentration, I arrived at the religious courthouse.

My arrival which brought a lot of expensive ornamental gardens owned by this papi seized the entire attention of people who might be just as broken hearted as me.

I made sure of the situation, looking for the papi's car, his lawyer, or his aide.

“Papa, maybe this is the answer why papa does not approve me with Narendra. Besides he's a widower, it turns out, papa knows everything better than I'm this stubborn.”

I reached out to my carry-on bag with a sorry look. There, near the giant pillar, stood gallantly and handsome papi Narendra, Deborah and her lawyer. While I'm only with aunt Marni.

I walked with a trained elegance to them and after I got what I wanted—Narendra looked at me—I showed a smile.

"Can you leave us?" I looked at Debora and her lawyer.

"I'd like to have a four-eye talk with—" I sighed, it's impossible to call Narendra again as Papi, "Mas Rendra."

"You two go." Narendra.

"I'm sorry, Mami Bella. Good luck." Deborah passed me with an elbow that touched my arm. He looked at me with a cynical smile.

A feeling of anxiety bloomed inside me. Deborah, she's trying to get rid of me like that. But care about the devil. I think he had guessed that this would happen so he was on the clouds.

I wet my lips. My heart was pounding like a wild bird trapped in a nest when I looked into the eyes of the man sitting in front of me.

"Thank you for all the love you've given me throughout our time with Papi. Honestly I can't afford to split the same, but yes it's a quicker decision, better if it's the best for us." I try to hold back the emotions that are too deep.

"May papi be happy. Papi could have a daughter with another woman. I pray for it— pray for myself too—that I also bring papi plant. This is the key, RT sir, please return the car later."

I handed the keys of the RT pick-up pack into his hands that only fluttered on the side of his body that froze to look at me.

"Good parting, ma'am. I've fought over all our dreams. I gave up, I hated trying, but I was also in a dilemma. I lost you, on the other hand I'm free. I'm free from the natural demands of a woman!" I patted his chest as it passed, behind the towering wall. I hit my stomach.

"I won't give up, no will, not this time Narendra. Let's see after the trial who's gonna have a baby. Me or you're a loser?"

•••

Seriate.