Not I'm the Choice
21

Hana was breastfeeding Kenan while watching television, the child was fussy and did not want to drink formula milk, because Hana did not have the heart so she gave breast milk, anyway for her child.

Chequelek

"Loh, are you home? Hurry up, you miss me all the way home quick." Hana chuckles softly to see Lucas coming, even though the man just left for work a few hours ago.

"Darling, Desi tried to kill herself."

Brakes

The television remote that Hana was holding suddenly dropped, her face pale eloquently hearing Lucas' speech. Desi tried to kill herself? What the hell's been going on?

"b-how can? What the hell's been going on? How is Desi now? I'm going to meet Desi, please take me to Desi, Lucas."

Lucas approached Lucas, holding his wife's worried-looking shoulder. "Calm yourself, Hana. Relax don't hurry, Desi's been taken to the hospital."

Hana tried to regulate her breathing that was once irregular, "Lucas, please take me to see her."

"Yes we're there now, take Kenan too. Helena's out, there's no way we're gonna let Kenan alone in here." Hana nodded and immediately rushed over.

***

What was Desi thinking at the time? He's very broken. Devastated when he learned that the son of the ex-wife of her husband was the flesh and blood of her husband.

Desi knows, she's following Satria. And, yeah!

The child was the son of Satria, Desi was increasingly afraid Satria would go from, let alone with his condition that could not give more offspring to Satria. He was declared barren one year ago.

Desi is devastated when she learns that Satria is trying to get Hana back together, she is devastated when she sees how much Satria wants to bring Hana back to her. Desi loves Satria, is very loving, they have known for a long time and now it feels very good to know that Satria is slowly turning away and getting bored of her.

Desi was angry, unwilling and disappointed. So when the night came back from the hotel leaving Satria and Hana, that night Satria did not come home, and when Desi was getting angry, negative thoughts sprung up in her brain.

What if Satria sleeps with Hana? What if Desi was thrown away like trash?

Desi was frustrated with her own thoughts, when Desi lost her mind and took the cutter and slashed her hands with a body that was submerged in a bathtub filled with water.

Fear enveloped him so much that it made Desi try to kill herself.

Desi loved Hana like her own sister, never minded Hana's presence in the past. He was happy to get to know the woman because he could have friends, but slowly Satria's attitude made Desi envious.

Desi wants to be like Hana, but realize that Hana has always wanted to be her? Want also loved Satria like Desi, but Hana who get injustice.

And when Desi gets what Hana used to get, she's weak, she's not as strong as Hana.

She was not the strong Hana, who could go through it all until she got her happiness. Hana is strong, she always smiles and never once tries to end her life.

But Desi, she's not Hana. He is not a human being who can endure this pain, Desi is not used to this, he is weak.

***

Hana looked at Desi with a look of pity, her hands outstretched gently rubbing Desi's forehead. Her tears dripped without being told, Lucas who was standing next to her seemed to be trying to strengthen Hana by wiping her quivering back.

"Desi may be the second wife of my former husband, he who Satria loves. But he and I were friends, he was my best friend at home. Desi is the one who will treat my wounds when I am injured, she is always on standby. Desi always wakes up in the middle of the night just to give me a pillow, a blanket and a mattress so I don't sleep in pain, she's a good person, it's just that she's stuck in a position she shouldn't get."

Hana smiled remembering when she and Desi always talked while watering plants together, or even spending time together.

"Dear."

"Lucas, Desi's a good man." sobs Hana into Lucas' arms.

"Well, he's a good man."

Satria was silent looking from outside the window, she glanced at Kenan who was in her arms. Satria sat her body in the waiting chair, staring at the face of the one-year-old baby who was busy playing her pacifier.

"Hey, you know me?"

Kenan was seen staring at Satria at a glance, again busy playing his pacifier. Satria chuckled but her eyes began to water.

Satria realized, she had already made two good angels hurt. Satria hurt Hana and also Desi at once, Satria the most jerk man in the world even the universe will surely curse him with all he has done, his crime. Bad behavior to Hana from the past, even Satria always hurt Hana physically and mentally simultaneously, Satria also indirectly has distanced Amel from her mother, Satria is very wrong at this time.

"Satria?"

Satria looked up at Hana and Lucas, Satria lowered her head and Hana was surprised when suddenly Satria bent down right under her feet.

"Satria, what are you doing?!" Hannah took a few steps back.

"Sorry, Hana. Forgive me for hurting you, for hurting you physically and mentally. Keep away from Amel, I have destroyed you, I'm sorry, Hana. You can hit me, I deserve it, I beg your pardon, Hana."

Hana was surprised, but her body moved holding onto both of Satria's shoulders to get up. Even Kenan was still in Satria's arms looking confused.

"Satria, I've forgiven you, long ago."

Satria looked at Hana. "Hana, I'm a jerk, why can you just forgive me? Why are you so good."

Hana smiled, "Pardon me, sometimes not because we are too good but because the heart can no longer be filled with hatred. Life is too short to be filled with hate and bad thinking of our neighbor."

"Satria, let it pass. Open a new page in your life and build happiness with Desi, she loves you. Desi is so sincere with you, take care of her and don't hurt her, let the past disappear with time."

Satria lowered her head with tears dripping down, you should be ashamed, Satria. Ashamed for hurting angels like Hana and Desi who always sincerely give her love and affection, why are they so kind to Satria?

"Pa~pa."

Satria flinched when she heard the voice, she stared at Kenan. The baby smiled at Satria, his tiny hand raised stroking Satria's watery cheek.

"Papa."

Kenan shook his head as if he forbade Satria to cry, Satria smiled looking at Hana and Lucas.

Slowly Hana realized, that happiness is not forever with first love. In the end he was happy with his last choice, with what fate chose. Wounds, tears. Hannah went through it all by holding onto the belief in God that she was sure her happiness would come.

To love, you must have power. Strength against anger with patience and strength to forgive with sincerity.

Forgiveness and forgiveness are the best ways in life.

When the time comes, sadness will become laughter, pain will become stories, memories will become teachers, longs will meet, you and I will become us.

Sometimes, meetings and partings happen too quickly. However, the feeling of staying too long.

Perhaps this is the end, the end of all these painful stories.