Survive Loving you
chapter 71

Ana could not bear to see Abimayu who was too begging, until Abimayu humbled herself to apologize to her.

"Let's stand up, Mum! Don't be like this, I'm not a person who deserves to be treated like this either." Ana said with a tight feeling in her chest.

"I'm sorry, Ana." Abimayu apologized again.

"I wasn't a good person either, Mom. So I have no right to judge others as guilty of me. Now, I just want to live my life quietly with what I still have now, and for that past story, that, let him just be a story that might be kept neatly in mind. We just live each other's lives, and for Fatimah, I have also given permission to Mas to be able to meet him."

Abhimayu stood up again after hearing Ana's words. She knew that the wound she had inflicted on her heart was so deep that there was no chance for her to return to Ana.

"Yes, forgive me if it forces you too much to accept, if Mas feels what you feel, maybe Mas also can not necessarily accept it." Abimayu said as she looked at Ana's face wryly.

"I also apologize, if during Mas Abi's wife, I became a wife who was ungodly and did not hear what Mas Abi said."

Abimayu shook her head a few times.

"No, Ana! You are not such a wife, maybe it is Mas who is too rude to be a husband, even Mas can accuse you of doing something that you never do at all."

"Forget it, Mom. Maybe that was a rebuke to me too. If none of our stories were so, perhaps forever I would be a loser, a person too far from the teachings of religion. I'm grateful, behind everything that happens, I can get wisdom from everything."

"Yes, Mas also realized that, because of our incident, Mas got a lot of lessons. During this time Mas is also too busy with the world of work, so forget to learn about the basics that must be owned to sustain themselves from various embers of life."

Finally Ana and Abimayu both forgive each other and forget the past story, even though they are not together anymore.

Now it was only because Fatimah would make them meet, if there was no Fatimah among them, that perhaps Ana would never be able to see again.

...----------------...

"Fatimaaah." call Ana to her little daughter when they want to sleep at night.

"Yes, Mother." Fatimah replied to Ana with her funny voice.

"Ehmmmm what does Fatimah like about the uncle who gave Fatimah that many toys?" ask Ana to Fatimah to ascertain the feelings of her little daughter when she met the father she did not know.

"He em, "Fatimah said.

"Is that a good answer if you ask?" Ana rebukes Fatimah who answers the question by muttering.

"Sorry, Mother."

"Yes, is Fatimah happy?" ask Ana again.

"Yes Mother."

"Can Fatimah call that uncle to dad?" Ana asked again while stroking Fatimah's hair quietly.

"What is that father, Mother?" Fatimah asked innocently, as she had almost never heard the word father when they lived in the boarding house.

"Abi?" fatimah said, he still felt confused because he did not understand everything. But Ana wants to tell Fatimah slowly so she can get to know her own parents, even though they won't be together.

"Uncle is Fatimah's abi." Ana said with sadness, because suddenly she felt tightness in her chest when she told him that Abimayu was the father of Fatimah.

"Now sleep, yes!" Ana tells Fatimah to go to sleep.

Without waiting for a long time, Fatimah had fallen asleep, probably because she felt tired because all day she almost spent playing with Abimayu. When Fatimah played with Abimayu, she could see how happy Fatimah was, because all this time she rarely received so much attention from an adult man. Although while living in the boarding school, Sarah's husband was also very attentive to him because he often played with Eve. But there are still visible differences when he is with Abimayu.

Ana was not feeling sleepy at the moment, then she decided to go downstairs because she was also feeling hungry.

As she went downstairs, she found her mother sitting alone in the living room.

"Why haven't you slept yet, Ma?" asked Ana as she approached towards the living room.

"Mama's not sleepy yet, honey." Kiran answered.

"Ehmmm do you remember papa?" tanya Ana guessed the reason her mother said that she was not sleepy.

Kiran shook her head in disapproval of Ana's words.

"What about you, honey?" now Kiran asked Ana.

"I can't sleep either, Ma." Ana replied with a sigh and placed her head on her mother's lap. He wanted to be spoiled again with his mother, even though he had a child.

"Are you thinking about Abimayu?" Kiran turned the question to Ana.

Ana did not answer him, but she just shook her head.

"What's your decision about your relationship, hem?" kiran asked while combing Ana's hair with her finger.

"What decision, Ma? We should not have been together before Mas Abi decided to marry Nayla. Now it's done, so there's nothing to fix anymore." Ana gives the answer to her mother's question.

"What about Fatimah, honey?" Kiran thought of her granddaughter who knew absolutely nothing about her parents.

"Mas Abi I've allowed to meet him, Ma. He could meet with Fatimah in a few days. Later also Fatimah will understand the situation if he has gone to be big." Ana said confidently of her decision.

"Yes, mama is only thinking about Fatimah" Kiran said softly.

"I still can't be a good person, Ma. If I continue to insist on accepting Mas Abi again, I fear that every day will add to my sins because my heart still cannot erase all the past stories between us. I've tried not to remember, Ma. But when I saw it firsthand, my heart still held a sense of hate. I'm scared, Ma. If our togetherness will make me a person who hates at all times because still can not control myself if you see Mas Abi."

"Mom knows, honey. Mama also feels guilty about you, because she didn't believe what you said." Kiran held onto Risa's cheek considering she had once slapped it with her hand.

"Ma, mama's innocent. I'm the one who used to be the kid who didn't hear what the old man said." Ana denies Kiran's remarks, because she doesn't want her mom to feel guilty again to her.

They tell stories until late at night that eventually make their eyes sleepy and go to sleep in their respective rooms.