The Tears Of Wedding
Chapter 14 The subjugation of my heart (POV Thunder)

Day by day, I also as much as possible covered the anxiety, the fatigue in my heart. I do not want to add to the sadness of Sekar's heart. Ah, my wife really understands my face. So as much as possible I harbored my stress on the request of Father and Mother to marry Arum. Sekar is a wife who is so sholehah, she is also the son of a sholehah. He was very worried that his mother's treatment of him would ignite his emotions.

My anxiety is getting stronger when I see the health development of the Father is getting worse. One or two of my family also gave me subtle advice to consider my father's request. Sekar did allow me to marry Arum. And I know how Sekar, she is not a weak woman, who will easily weep bitterly just because of a small wound in her hand. Compared to Arum. That childhood friend was a spoiled girl, too spoiled for me. From childhood, I knew he was always obeyed by his parents. Maybe his life is almost never recosoh, then inevitably he always feels he can get what he wants. At that time I met him when he had just taken care of the corpse in the village next to him. Mudin or the person who is always in charge of taking care of the corpse in his place is homecoming.

At that time I gave him advice that I could not marry him, but unexpectedly. Arum still welcomes me to grant my father's request.

“Mas, is it so difficult to grant your request?” He asked me when I was on the right side of the mosque.

“Sorry Arum. I'm married, marrying you means I hurt my wife.” I said firmly.

“But didn't Mbak Sekar hurt the mas, he had a problem with his fallopian tube? Then how can you have offspring.” Ask me.

I looked at Arum's pretty face that looked pale, probably because without the makeup polish he used to use. I can't stop thinking, how Arum can think like that. As far as I know, he used to be my friend who was very passionate about learning.

“Where do you know?” Ask me.

I was curious, it was impossible for Sekar to tell Arum what he was going through. Arum smiled and said that when we checked our condition, he was near us.

“I can clearly see your sad face, Mas. I think, Mbak Sekar allows me to marry mas, anyway I often hear if Mbak Sekar is a humble person but understands science.” Say it lightly.

I walked over to my swimsuit slippers, reaffirming to Arum that I would never marry anyone as long as my wife was by my side.

“There is or is no child in our possession. I will remain faithful to her now, never to be alone. Assalammualaikum.” My pamphlets to Arum.

Nacun who keeps me from thinking, Arum met my wife when heavy rain fell. A message from Sekar saying that if he took shelter in Arum's residence made me worry that my wife would again feel inferior to allow me to marry Arum. My wife is the best soul mate God has sent me. I didn't even calm down when I prayed the Maghrib prayer in the mosque. Immediately I picked up Sekar at that time, even though the weather was raining.

What I was worried about happened, Sekar actually heard what Arum said to me. Whether I should reject his humble mind, he always put me at risk. I am armed with the knowledge taught by my Master when in the boarding school, and also under the guidance of Gus Damar or commonly called Ustadz Damar. That the husband should glorify his wife, love himself, and establish the best possible communication. And that night I confirmed once again, there will be no more women in my life than Mom and her. So when I returned to Java, I took the time to go to Gus Ali, my teacher.

“Gus, kulo ajeng taken antawis bektos kalih tiyang any kelebet jihad?” Ask Gus Ali.

{Gus, I want to ask between filial piety with parents is jihad included?}

“Reuters SAW said in a hadith narrated by Bukhari and Muslim from Ibn Mas’d that the filial devotion to the old man was second after upholding the prayer and the last new jihad on the road Allahs. However, filial piety to parents is fardhu ‘ain while for jihad in the way of Allah is fardhu kifayah.” Gus Ali.

I looked at Gus Ali's explanation. Where jihad in the way of Allah includes fardhu kifayah law or which means if there are already some people who do it, then some others are not obliged to do so so that they are not necessarily exposed to sin because of their non-participation.

“But... Under certain circumstances, the law of jihad in the way of Allah can be changed to fardhu 'ain, Tour.” Gus Ali said again.

I look forward to Sekar who still has not finished his wirid. I occasionally looked towards the door, worried that he was coming.

“Pripun, choose tiyang as old as nedha we kangge emah-emah malih amargi our partner wonten kediran, Gus?” Ask Gus Ali.

{What if parents ask us to remarry because our partner has a shortage, Gus?}

He asked if there was a problem in my household, I was a little hesitant but finally asked for an opinion, I was worried that the condition of the father was getting weaker, his request still remained for me to marry Arum. I said the honest thing I wish enlightenment and guidance from Gus Ali. Because I was worried if I took the wrong action. But I was very surprised when Gus Ali said something I should not have expected on the other end of our conversation.

“Which is clear, we need the next generation. If your wife allows you to get two rewards, first you obey the requests of your parents, second you can have and educate the next generation for religion and nation. Your wife doesn't agree you're remarrying?” Ask Gus Ali.

I just kept quiet, I couldn't answer Gus Ali's question. I can't afford to complain about Sekar. If I used to resign to Gus Ali for whom the woman was chosen for me, but now if I am asked to remarry, even though Sekar allows me, no. I wouldn't wish him much less to send him back to his parents. But my heart is growing.

“"Yes, if he has any flaws. Divorce it if your wife doesn't want to be in polygamy. We are men, the purpose of marriage is one of them has children, It is your right to marry again. The reason why you should get married again. Even in law P e r k a w i n a n is regulated." Said Gus Ali casually without knowing my turmoil, after that. I cannot go back to expressing my heart.

So when to the time of Bening, I must seek advice, advice that might be able to strengthen me if my decision not to marry again according to the desire of father and mother is right. Because I'm a human being, I can't correct myself. So I need a teacher who is currently Umi Laila and Kyai Rohim who might be able to give advice or his son who betrothed me to Sekar.