The Tears Of Wedding
Chapter 2 Remembrance of the Mass

I have tears that wet my cheeks. I set my breath, and I turned my head towards the sky. I don't want to, thunder mas and my two in-laws to know, if I hear their talk. I took a few deep breaths and I exhaled again. The flashlight that was lying on the ground, I took it back.

“Bismilbornrahmanirrahim…. “ Say as I step foot toward the door of my in-laws house.

I deliberately drag my footsteps, so that the sound of my sandals is heard by the occupants of the house who look emotional and talk about me. Instantly, silently. No sound from inside the house. I say hello when I'm on the doorstep of the living room. I could see Thunder mas sitting on the right side of my male in-laws. He was among the elders in this village. People used to call him with the greeting of Pak Kisno. My mother-in-law was sitting on my left side. I walk towards them. I kissed the back of Guntur's hands and my two in-laws.

I was already full of the treatment of Ms. Sumi, my mother-in-law. He'll just be cold with me.

“This is a gift from the city, ma'am, wanted to come this afternoon. I did not wash this morning. So I was holy this afternoon.” I said politely.

Mom took the black crackle bag out of my hand. He entered with this gift. I followed my mother into the kitchen. I took a plate to arrange the fruit I bought in town this afternoon. As well as one plate for the bread I also bought, this food is my favorite. It's not over yet that I'm calming my heart, this heart is screaming. However, science and adab demanded that my lips be tightly closed. Demanding my body, my eyes were only able to look down when my mother-in-law came back and asked in a cornering tone to me.

“Whose wrong goes? You what Thunder has a problem?!” Ask Bu Sumi while folding the black crackle bag into a triangular shape, then he tucked it on the side of the dish rack.

I sat on the dining table chair, but my body was weak, my legs were trembling. I don't usually tell lies. I was confused by the answer I gave. Mom's back at me. He pulled a wooden chair made of medang wood. Then he arranged the plate that I had filled with salak fruit and bread.

“You are Kar, if asked by yo nabata! Habits.” Said Mother riled.

My fingers m e r e m a s end of my veil that dangled.

“Doctor says told control if the vitamin runs out Mom,” I replied slowly.

I reached for the tray on the table, but my hand was brimmed by my mother-in-law. Mom stood up and lifted the tray. He stood up and walked by my side. Mom half-bends over holding the tray. He whispered a sentence that struck my heart.

“If you are troubled, leave Thunder. I don't want my son to have no children! I gave birth and raised Thunder. I know from the look on his face, you are the source of this problem!” Whisper my mother on my ear.

Without looking at me, Mom walked towards the front room. Leaving me alone in the kitchen. I had tears that almost fell with my index finger, while I looked at the ceiling of the kitchen which was all black because of the duration of the smoke coming from firewood.

‘Astaghfirullah.. Astaghfirullah.. Astaghfirullah.. Patience, this life is where we are tested.’ My inner.

When my breathing was in order, I returned to the front room. I sat down by the side of Guntur. For about half an hour, we talked. Just a chat about Yadi and Yani.  Yadi is the youngest brother of Guntur. He was still in college in Jombang. It is running S2. While Yani is the younger brother right after Guntur mas. Yani is a worker in leasing in the City. There is no warm chatter, only chatter where, Father and Mother continue to boast Yadi and Yani. It's as if I and Guntur have no role behind the success of my two sisters-in-law. Yes, When I first married Guntur mas, his two younger siblings were still in college.

Of course who gave Mas Guntur, because the Father was already old. Only my husband and I know our struggle to get our two sisters to achieve their goals. Reaching education up to S1, Yadi even almost finished his S2 education. I even almost forgot the taste of eating with salt alone or eating only with masako only with Guntur.  When the price of rubber sap and palm oil is falling sharply while Yadi wants wisudah. Yani is also newly married.

We experienced it and passed it in the beginning of our marriage. Bitter, sweet, sour life in the household I have been through during marriage with Mas Guntur.But, a sense of love and understand the meaning of marriage. I never complained to my parents on the island of Java. I also do not have an android phone, there is only a small phone that I buy from the sale of my android phone, when Yadi will graduate in his S1. Yani who forced to attend, making the cost of fees increase. Savings that no longer exist, making me take the initiative to sell my phone. I just thought it wasn't very useful at the time.

Mas Thunder who looks at home, half an hour talking to his parents. He took me home with a tired excuse.

“I go home first Sir, Mom. Tomorrow morning we're gonna hang out in Liter Q. Today no ngarit.” Pamit Mas Guntur to both parents.

I tailed behind the Thunder Mas. We went home through a road that had not been cast or asphalt. A shortcut that is still ground red and will end up in the back yard of our house. A house that only has an area of 6 x 5 meters. A small house that is far from luxurious impression. We built it from donations when we just got married. Envelope money given by friends and invited guests, we used to build a tiny hut that was very comfortable, safe for me. Safe from every insinuation of my mother-in-law, comfortable because we can do anything together. Where for some people here taboo. Moreover, a husband to participate in activities in the kitchen such as cooking and some houses.

As we walked hand in hand, Mas Guntur embraced my shoulders.The road was quite quiet, because it was just a shortcut that was deliberately made by Mas Guntur in order to quickly go to the house of his parents.

“Dek, I said what fits in the kitchen?” Tanya Mas Guntur while tightening his embrace. I saw the direction of the flashlight coming from the direction of the head of Thunder. The light illuminated our path to our home.

I know my husband is a man who loves his wife so much. He was also a devoted son to his parents. It made me feel enough I swallowed myself what I got from Mom. I do not want the heart of Mr. Thunder to grow tired and tired so angry or irritated at the woman who has given birth to him, raising him. Not to mention, my husband is a hard worker. It was time to earn a living not for myself but for his sister as well as his parents. Makes me not want to increase the burden of my husband's mind with the nature of his mother who still does not accept me as his daughter-in-law.

Yeah, I don't seem to be accepted by Mom. Because I remember very well how the first days I set foot on this Sumatra Island and this village in particular. Mom's so stiff, cold. One reason that made Mas Guntur buy land and build a house made of bricks. The walls of our house were not even plaster. So sometimes make a new Thunder Mas come home from the field to make the wall as a tool to scratch his back if I am not at home.

Arriving home, we said our greetings, even though there was no one in the house. It fits what we get when we go. There is or is no one in the house. When we enter, we should say hello. Where Gus Furqon dawuh, ‘When entering an uninhabited house, do not say 'assalamua'alaikum', but say 'assalamu alaina wa'ala ibadillahish shalihin'.

Go inside the house, we rest. Late at night, I was still thinking about my in-laws. The sentence of the Father who wanted Mas Guntur to remarry with his childhood friend, made me unable to sleep. The tight hug of the Thunder Mask on my waist made me rub the back of his hand. I hold the hand of the man who has been almost 7 years to support my birth and inner self. Who has always been gentle to me even when outside, he is famous ‘kereng’ in Javanese which means hard. But not to me.

I also recalled the first time I met Guntur. Feeling sad and tired because it was noon from the city, making me unable to sleep. I also remember my first days together with Mas Guntur until I married him.

The Flashback

"Astaghfirullah's... Zha... Senengan e. ngagetin ae." I said annoyed that suddenly my brother-in-law who is both a ndalem servant at the Umi Siti residence suddenly patted my shoulder.

"Mbak, wau Kulo so Ajeng dugiaken show an umi guest damel, kabaripun santri he tasek pados jodo." He said while hugging a tray patterned flowers.

{Mbak, I was from the front delivering a drink to his guest Umi. Reportedly santri he is looking for a mate.}

"Because?" I said curiously.

I refocused on the clothes I was trying to scrub.

"Lah, who has puberty right Mbak Sekar if in his ndalemnya Umi. How do I think that he will be matched with Gus Ali santrinya yes Mbak Sekar." Zhafirah ceplas.

I reflexively hit her head with Ning Binti's pillow doll that I just washed.

"Let's say you want Ning Binti's momong, let's not be in the wasp. Yes anyway. So you ngarep it so." Tukas ku to Zhafirah.

The girl smiled and scratched her head.

"Yo ndak ngunu loh mbak...." Objections said.

"Soalya Gus Ali mature who used to be a ndalem servant." Zhafirah.

I also stopped my activities. I became curious, who santri Gus Ali who is famous for his prayer assembly in this District. Not lost my curiosity, suddenly Umi Siti came and called my name.

"Dark, Nduk. Mriki sekedhap." Call Umi Siti.

{Voliday, Nduk. Come briefly}

My heart was already pounding erratically, worried that Zhafirah's guess was correct.