TIME (For A Taste )
CHAPTRE 113

Happy reading....

***

Malia went straight into her room and Reiji, after Reiji loosened his grip on Malia's arm.

Ignoring the husband who was looking at her back pus as Malia stepped hastily into the room.

And without thinking, Malia locked the door to her room and Reiji was right after she entered it.

Reiji remained silent in his place for a while, though he realized that Malia had locked the door of their room from the inside.

It was as if it was a notice from Malia to Reiji, that Malia did not want Reiji near her.

Reiji could only sigh in frustration, but did not intend to follow Malia to his room, because Reiji thought Malia must be on her own.

Reiji himself also felt the need to reduce his emotions.

‘Thanks God I ga until release,’ inner Reiji who feel relieved. ‘Lia, Lia... Since the arrival of the man of your dreams, you have changed greatly...’.

Sighing again, Reiji went to the apartment pantry because he felt his stomach a little hungry.

****

MALIA

My chest feels tight, that's all I can say. And I sobbed in my room and Reiji. I felt sad and upset at the same time.

About Reiji and Irsyad now I feel stifling my chest. Reiji who is my husband, and Irsyad who is the man I love.

The fact that Reiji now knew who Irsyad was, made me feel a little annoyed at Avi.

Because if Avi had told Reiji about Irsyad, he should have asked for my approval first.

I wanted to tell Reiji, but I was looking for the right time.

At least as my relationship with Reiji improved after our feud. Not now, which only makes my relationship with Reiji worse.

****

“Li, lo same Bang Rei how are you?...”

“Gue good. Brother lo is also good.”

“Your relationship is also good, right?..”

“You mean my relationship with Rei?”

“Sorry before, Li. Not I want to interfere in your personal domain too in—“

“.......”

“But now Irsyad has returned again in the life of lo?—“

“Terus?”

“Gue thoughts.”

“Soal?”

“Ya between lo and Irsyad.”

“Why with me and Irsyad?.”

“He is, dream man lo?”

“.......”

“Yang come again after lo married—“

“.......”

“And I noticed it looks like it's really tangled since Irsyad came back again, Li ..”

“Difficult yes Vi----“

“.......”

“One-sided, lo it's my best friend-where I confide to any thing ..”

“.......”

“One side, lo it's also my sister-in-law.”

“.......”

“Kalopun I'm having problems with Rei, what pantes I vent to elo?”

“So your relationship with Bang Rei is again problematic now?”

“.......”

“.......”

“It’s okay if you don't want a story, Li.”

“.......”

“Gue knows.”

“.......”

“.......”

“Depart Vi, there comes a time I tell you the same about me and Rei at this time.”

“Iya Neng's. I look forward to being ready for my same story. But obviously I'm sure lo same Bang Rei will be fine aja.”

“.......”

“Btw, Li, you know the same story Bang Rei about Irsyad?.”

“But.”

“Ya that's your right. I've always supported you, and you know it, Li. And I'm sure, you will put forward your common sense to make a decision and act –“

**

MALIA

But if I remember my conversation with Avi back then, I doubt that Avi told Reiji about Irsyad in detail. The Avi I knew would not do anything related to my personal realm, without him talking to me first, or asking.

Only, no one but Avi knows exactly my story with Irsyad, even through my stories alone. I did have to talk to Avi to ask her for an explanation, and maybe tell her what I'm really going through right now.

And again, I want to ask also about Avi's sentence that makes me ambiguous, about putting common sense to make decisions and act. But wait a minute ... What does Avi mean by that, about me being in a dilemma to take a decision and act with Reiji and Irsyad????? ...

Am I going to be faced with that?.

Choose between Reiji or Irsyad.

**

“By only meeting like this – even though I know you are married, I am already happy, Lia. But I really wish I could be happier if you marry me --“

“Kak, since Big Brother moved to London, our relationship is only limited to chatting. Only met once, and after two years I lived there. Then after that, Brother was busy with the world Brother, until we really no longer communicate with each other - Oh errat, Brother who never again contacted me --”

“I told you that I lost my phone right Lia?---“

“OK. But what after losing your phone you did not buy a new phone, then asked me via chat my contact number again?..”

“.......”

“Okay, forget it. Suppose to call, I can take that excuse. Maybe the phone cost is expensive, while you have to struggle there.  But chat? .. it does not require additional costs other than internet network which in fact if you do not have internet network in the residence of the brother there-which is not possible ... You can still use the internet network on campus or in your office right?”

“.......”

“Keep now know-Kis back here-and we've only met a few times, then Big Brother talk like that? ... Saying to marry me?----”

“You're naive, Lia ..”

“.......”

“Our togetherness in college wasn't enough to make you aware of my feelings huh? Even when I do not have a lecture schedule, I often still defend if you have a lecture schedule, take you out, I even hold your hand ... You're not sensitive, Lia--”

“Why, Brother? ..”

“Why what? ..”

“Why is the new Brother saying this now? ..”

“Because I waited for the right time, Lia ... When I feel I deserve to give you a good future --“

“.......”

“If you knew Li, I thought hard before I decided to go to London ... My mind is at war between thinking about the future and leaving you here. But yeah, I want to be really ready when the time comes. Time to ask you to walk along with me, which I thought if you would wait for me----“

“.......”

“But it turns out I was too cool with my world, until I forgot if I had someone I thought was waiting for me. And when I realized that, I was really serious about preparing myself, Lia---“

“.......”

“And when I was ready, I left my career in London. Actually ... I'm also naive ... Thinking you'll keep waiting for me.”

“.......”

“.......”

“Life with people you do not love, does it not torture you, Lia?.”

**

MALIA

Irsyad and I were silent for a long time after our slightly emotionally draining conversation from the acrimony that she and I both felt. My heart ached after hearing Irsyad's explanation.

Until the feeling of blaming myself, know-how penetrated into my heart.

Ameaning ...

If only I had been frank with Irsyad about how I felt about her first,

Had it been, Irsyad expressed his feelings for me before he went to London - even for a long time,

Maybe my husband is him and not Reiji.

And maybe, I and Irsyad are already living happily as husband and wife right now.

But, Irsyad can not be blamed in terms of choosing the right time to express his feelings to this insensitive me.

Unfortunately, when Irsyad has felt the right time to express his feelings to me, it is too late.

I've become the wife of a Reiji Shakeel. A person I never wanted to be my husband, even though I loved him and I accepted Reiji as my husband with full awareness.

Consciousness, which I now begin to regret.

Because in reality, I really realize, if Irsyad still dominates this heart of mine.

And this man who dominates my heart, has come back. It has also revealed her feelings that I have been waiting for a long time.

The same feeling I felt for her.

So, should I choose?.

On the one hand is the person I love, and now it can be said, we love each other.

On the other hand there are people I already love, and have claimed to have loved me even before our marriage.

But I don't love him.

However, Reiji I can't just brush it off.

I have respected him before.

I often let Reiji throw his opinion at me, and sometimes what he said was true.

On the sidelines of the non-fluffy tears coming down my cheeks, I glanced at the door of my room and the Reiji I locked from the inside.

I just realized, if Reiji wasn't after me, or didn't knock on the door and force me to open it.

Maybe Reiji was angry.

That's why he refused to persuade me.

Especially in the current situation, I was wrong.

I chose to spend time with other men, not with Reiji, and Reiji knew about it.

I was amazed at the patience of Reiji – Well, even though I caught a furious expression on Reiji's face when I challenged him by saying if I really cared more about Irsyad then Reiji would do what.

However, Reji seems to control his emotions to not be more rude to me, either through actions or speech. Even though he was staring hard at me, who was also staring hard at him, Reiji was still unmoved in his place.

And this Reiji who wasn't after me, was probably calming himself down, dimming his emotions at me, somehow.

Haahh is what I expected?.

I had obviously let Reiji down, so I shouldn't have expected him to improve on me much less seduce me like before the murmur of the past disrupted our relationship.

Especially with the presence of Irsyad and Reiji's accusation to me who had an affair with the man from my past. To that end, Reiji might have already ilfeel to me by now.

So Reiji just let me into our room, and stupid shit even though I locked the door.

Perhaps, Reiji was now fed up with seeing my face.

Yeah, maybe so.

I was previously troubled by Reiji's past feelings for Shirly, and was so fiery – fire took issue with her, but now I'm the one who's been entangled back by my past.

I have buried the story of my past, in fact when the subject of my past came back – I could not refuse his invitation. Even my heart was so happy every time I met Irsyad.

In fact my determination to forget Irsyad and throw away – everything about him from my heart is just a meeting.

And I reneged on the promise I made myself, even I had given Reiji to be a good wife to her. I was so concerned about Reiji being on good terms with Shirly, while I was alone? ...

I felt so happy with Irsyad. And his return seemed to make me take revenge for my lost happiness, and the times and circumstances that separated me from him.

Although somehow the end later - I was still difficult to imagine, not yet fully able to make a decision.

I really don't understand myself sometimes.

When I was with Irsyad, I didn't want to think about Reiji, not even the consequences of me meeting Irsyad intensely. But after seeing Reiji, I was immediately struck by feelings of guilt towards him.

Shame – may.

Because I realized I had reneged on my promise to be a good wife to Reiji, who at that time, confidently told herself I was pushing myself.

But then my ego was already dominating again at this moment.

I have stopped pondering and sobbing.

Has changed clothes and cleansed the face, even if only with make – up remover.

Reluctant to go to the bathroom, which is where I have to go out of the room.

Still reluctant to meet Reiji, either I am upset or I am a coward.

I don't know, my mind feels chaotic.

But when I was ready to go to sleep, my phone rang, a notification sign of incoming messages which I immediately reached my phone and checked the message that had just entered it.

The corner of my lips was attracted, and the upset following the tightness felt earlier, felt evaporated when I got the message from Irsyad. In addition to the message of good rest, two photos that Irsyad sent me - one of which captured the image of the two of us.

Not a friendly pose, but my heart warms to see it. I love Irsyad, and Irsyad loves me, even if we don't know where our relationship will end. I should have been happy, because the void of my cold heart seemed to have been filled with warmth again with the presence of Irsyad and our togetherness in the intense meetings we had since Irsyad returned to Jakarta.

However, why was there such a sense of loss when he saw the empty space next to me, on my bed and Reiji?.

**

It was light when Malia opened her eyes, and woke up from her sleep.

“Through my dawn ..” muttered Malia, who woke up without panic, though she realized that the day was bright.

Malia remembers it was Sunday, because last Saturday she spent time with Irsyad.

Malia was about to shuffle out of bed, but earlier, either reflexively or somehow, Malia immediately looked to the side of the bed in the usual part of Reiji to sleep.

Blank.

And after that, Malia recalled her feud with Reiji last night.

Malia realizes that she has locked the door to her room and Reiji.

Malia was reluctant to leave her room.

But other than her stomach which she felt hungry, Malia also thought of Reiji.

The thought, whether Reiji has a flight schedule today and it makes Malia hunt – hastily reach for her phone to see Reiji's work schedule, which her husband gave her.

“Luck afternoon schedule...” Malia mutters in relief.

Malia wanted to stay in the room, but her stomach was rumbling.

So, even half-heartedly, Malia set her foot toward the door of the room, then went out to wash her face, then had breakfast, which she had not thought of what she would have breakfast with.

‘What does Rei sleep in the reading room?..’

Malia sat down when she did not see Reiji who she thought was asleep on the sofa in the living room of their apartment.

Curious, Malia sniffed towards the reading room, and Reiji was not there either.

The pantry was silent and the balcony door was still tightly closed. So Malia believes Reiji is not in either of these two places.

‘What was last night, Rei left and ga came home?..’

**

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