Treasure, Throne, Renata
Removing Rania's Story Memories

I put my negligee shirt in this increasingly empty closet. Since Ray left, this closet has never been full again. There was no shirt of his that folded irregularly in the closet. No more wet towels that are often stooped on the mattress. No more jeans hanging on the door of the used room he wore for weeks. This room is getting quieter, even though there are still children who play with cats every day in my room, there is still their laughter when playing with Kian, but all that is still different. I just enjoy all of this alone. My tears should always be withheld so as not to drip, especially in front of my children and my mother. Every time I have to get out of my room, I apply concealer so that my eyes don't look puffy. I always wear glasses wherever I go, so that my eyes are always swollen can be disguised.

“ Mamaaaa, there are guests under “, exclaimed Kila as she looked inside the room.

“ Who's brother?”.I asked while looking for my glasses on the dresser.

“ Don't know. He said look for papa “, replied my confused son.

I put on my hijab and immediately got down from the second floor and went out to the terrace of the house. Apparently the guest in question is a tall man with a large body while standing in front of the fence of the house.

“ Afternoon Mom, here is a bill from the bank for Mr. Rayendra”, said the stranger while giving an envelope. He was a debt collector from the bank where we took credit for this house

“ Oh yes, thank you. Later I will tell my husband “, I replied while receiving an envelope from behind the fence.

“ Sorry Mom, if you may know why Mr Rayendra has not made payment?. We are cooperative if for example you ask for payment waivers, then just submit it to us “, exclaimed the bank officer was friendly, unlike other debt collectors who came charging rudely.

I just stood there unmoved, not knowing what to answer to the debt collector. Ray's gone from this house, it's no longer possible that he paid the mortgage. Although Ray has advertised this house on the internet, but at this time there is no sign of a buyer. Let alone to buy, who came to look around just yet. Every month I have to face a debt collector who's looking for Ray, and I don't know what to say.

“ Ma'am, his son was born huh?”, the question of the Father broke my daydream. He was watching my stomach no longer distended.

“ Yes Sir, I gave birth last month. Oya about the bill later I inform my husband to take care of it immediately. He has gone to Bandung again, so it is not here “, I replied to the father.

“ New rowdy lahiran already left husband, patience ya ma'am. If you need a waiver for payment, just contact the office. We will definitely help. I say yes, Assalamualaikum “, the pamit sambi entered the black Innova car.

“ Waalaikumsalam “, I replied as I stared at a letter in my hand. I walked inside and dropped my body on the couch. I read the bank bill that turned out we had been in arrears for 2 months. I took a deep breath, my chest felt tight not knowing what to do. Should I call Ray?. He still wants to talk about this house. Installment payment for 1 month only he could not, especially for 2 months.

“ Brother, please take Mama in the room dong nak “, call my eldest who is playing on the back porch. He ran as I called his name, then rushed to my room on the 2nd floor to pick up my phone.

“ This is Mam, who will you call?”, he asked while giving me my phone.

“ Want to call Papa, Nak “, I replied briefly to him. I don't want my son to ask you any more questions about Ray.

“ Wow Mama want to ask when Papa came home?, Papa want to bring a gift by what Ma?”, he asked enthusiastically once he knew I would contact Ray.

“ No son, would like to tell if there was someone who nyariin Papa “, I explained to my son who was preparing to sit next to me to eavesdrop.

He looked disappointed from his face, but in an instant he immediately acted as if he did not care and immediately returned to play on the back porch with Kica. I took a picture of the letter and immediately sent it to Ray. My little heart misses him so much, what he's doing there. How he eats, where he lives, coughs like recurrence or not. Everything rages in my head. I wanted to ask her how she was, but I was afraid she wouldn't bother me. I saw the photo on his whatsapp profile, still an old photo of me. I can't believe he's not my husband anymore.

“ Ping “

Papa

“ People bank come again yes, sorry yes troublesome. Doain is his home, I posted it on the internet. Last week there were things, he said this week he wanted to see the house “ he replied.

“ Thank you if so, please contact the bank. If until the end of the month has not been paid, I am afraid this house is sealed bank “, I test while typing quickly on my phone screen.

“ Ok later I will call. Thanks yeah. Greetings to the children of “, he replied as he ended the conversation.

My heart ached when he ended our conversation, it has been more than 1 month he left and has not spoken to my children. There's still a lot I want to talk to Ray about, especially my domestic relationships. Even though he had already said one talak, I still wished we could refer to it for the sake of the children. I'm losing my house, my treasure, but not my family. These kids need his dad, we're losing him so much. This house is no longer a comfortable place for me, the memories in each corner have begun to fade slowly. If Ray is determined to move to Bandung, I am ready to follow him and return to my mother's house in Bandung.

“ Mom, who was looking for Papa? “, asked Kila and Kica who approached me with hands covered in poster paint.

“ People from the bank son, his Om want to chat but Papanya no “, I replied while closing my phone.

“ When dong Papa comes home?, right kasian many people who come looking Papa “, asked plain Kica while sitting next to me. Kila sat next to him while taking the remote to turn on the TV. His face seemed to not care but he was listening to my words.

I didn't answer her question, I rubbed her hair and asked her back.

“ Sister, Kica... if if this house is sold to others and we return to Bandung how? “ my question with great care while staring at them closely. Kica looked at me confused and then looked at her sister. Kila looked scowled, not a word coming out of her mouth.

“ We moved to Bandung with Papa right?”, he asked back.

I regret asking them this question. What should I answer, even if we go to Bandung, Ray will not stay with us. The inner wounds of children will increase, their curiosity will get bigger.

“ My school how Mam, I'm happy school here “, replied Kila slowly, her face looks very disappointed.

“ Yes me too, I don't want to be far from Mika. Later if I go to Bandung, Mika does not have a playmate in school”, replied Kica while pouting.

I immediately stood up and sat down between my two little daughters. I embraced the bodies of those who were now feeling the same sadness as me. My little heart doesn't want to move there either, I don't want to sacrifice my son's school. Their friends are here, and so are my friends. And what grieves me most are the children's questions that I can't answer right now. Why didn't his father live together again when they moved to Bandung, while we gave up all the lives we had with a heavy heart.

“ Pray yes Son, hopefully we can get a more comfortable home. Maybe God will replace it with a more beautiful one for us to live in. It's okay if we find a new home, even though it's not this big?”, entertain me to my two little daughters who are still grimacing sadly.

“ Yes mam okay “, replied Kila steadily.

“ Later we move house again dong mam, later lift up the goods again dong “, asked Kica innocently.

I smiled and kissed both of them. Their hair was soaked with sweat after playing on the back porch. Despite the wry smell of the sun, this scent will always be missed. This aroma must also be missed by Ray, every giggle or cry of these children he will never hear again.