Treasure, Throne, Renata
Ellipsism Rania's

10.30 WIB – Home Rania

Crackling

I broke one by one the chicken eggs into the basin while slowly stirring the Brownies dough using a spatula to evenly. In front of me were 12 pans ready to be filled. Thank God the order for tomorrow is quite a lot, I murmured in my heart.

“ Kila, I can pinjem Barbie toy you ga?”.

The loud voice came from Nisa, a 5-year-old boy who was the son of my neighbor. The children have made new friends apparently, already a few days back they often play bicycles together.

“ Can, I have a lot. Which one do you want?”, said my son while taking out his collection of Barbie dolls in a toy box.

“ Wow so many Barbie dolls her “, said Nisa.

“ Yes, Papa I used to like buying Barbie, now I have not bought again”, he replied.

“ Where are you now? How Saturday is not at home?”.

I looked at those who were playing in the television room, Nisa's barrage of questions alarmed me.

“ Papa I am in Bandung”, he answered briefly while combing one of his dolls.

“ Why do you stay in this house? This was Audrey's house, I used to play with her before Audrey moved “.

“ You see the house that used to be sold with Papa”, chirped Kica who had earlier come to play together.

“ So you don't have a house dong? Which car are you?”, he asked again.

“ Mama has no money to buy a house. Papa's car was taken to Bandung lah”, replied Kica.

“ You every school day up what dong “, he asked curiously.

“ Ride the same motor Om Agus. Nice to ride the motor there are winds gitu”.

“ Hahaha take a car ride. When riding the motor likes to overheat, if it rains so rain “.

I glanced at the three of them, this time their conversation had already begun to disturb my feelings.

“ Hello kids, who wants Brownies? If you want, please trim the toys continue to wash your hands. There is a cake that has already mateng nih”, serobotku so that the conversation between the three of them is not prolonged.

“ I want Maaaa, who uses topping choco chips yes Ma”, screamed Kica while running towards me.

“ I want also Aunt, which is great yes cake”, said Nisa who came running towards me while watching myself who was stirring by using a mixer.

“ Brother, want Brownies too right? Want the Choco chips or almonds?”, I asked Kila who was still combing Barbie alone, as if she did not care about my offer just now.

“ Kakaaaak, do you want Brownies? If you do not want to make me?”, said Kica while shouting his name. Kila just shook her head and went back to combing her favorite doll's hair.

I put down the mixer that I was holding slowly. I looked at the brownie pan in the tangkring oven burning the cake on the stove, smelling the smell of the cake tickling my nose. I opened the oven door, and I took the brownie out one by one on the table.

“ Wait for cold first yes. Please tidy up the toy first, keep washing hands”, my orders to Kica and Nisa who had been watching me stir the cake. They shuffled up their toys, while Kila just sat on the sofa while playing with the doll. A mother's intuition began to signal, something was wrong with my son that one.

“ Nih cake, Kica same Nisa take alone on the table ya”, I said while putting the pieces of Brownies according to their request. The children were excited while clapping happily.

“ Aunt I can take home can not I? Mama said I played until the long needle to the number 12”, he replied while pointing to the clock that had shown at 11:00.

“ Can. Nih Aunty morein yes, so I can love Mama”, I replied while taking the mica box and I gave the label on it. Pretty good promotion with the neighbors, I thought.

Nisa thanked me while carrying the Brownies I gave her. His face was beaming while carrying the brownies in a plastic bag. I finished my pending cake making, I put the brownie pan into the empty oven and cleaned the messy dining table with various cake ingredients.

“ Ran, here's the table let Mama do it. You were in the room, want nyusu kanya “, said my mother who just came out of my room.

I washed my hands then walked towards the 4 x 3m2 room we were in together. Since Ray was not there we all slept in one room only. I slept with Kian, while Kila and Kica were with my mom. Every night the two of them had to be accompanied while hugged, because that was Ray's habit of sleeping with my children.

“ Brother, why don't you want Brownies Mama anyway?”, I asked Kila who was playing with Kian.

“ Why the hell, Brother? How is Brother sad? Is there a word Nisa that makes Brother sad?.

“ No kok “, he replied.

“ Then why, how not excited anyway from yesterday?”.

Kila did not answer my question, she just turned her face and went outside the room. I was surprised by his reaction that did not affect me.

“ KILA!!! Answer my mother's question! Parents if it's answered!!!”.

My eldest son was no less surprised by the scuffles that were thrown from my mouth. His steps stopped and his face immediately grimaced, his eyes immediately glistened and spilled until it flowed on his cheeks.

“ You from yesterday Mama saw just dumbfounded. Mama always answered, There is nothing. Being told to take a bath is very difficult, told to eat only a little. Mama has cape home from the market bring groceries, then cook for you. Uh Mama's cooking you don't eat”, I said while expressing disappointment.

“ You know Mama from the morning until the mallem make Brownies so you can eat, canter cake to the market so you can get money. Until home should see you whose work is just dumb. What do you want Mama, Kila?”.

My son was still standing there crying, the stuffing getting louder until Kica came to us. Kian also followed crying because of my scream just now.

“ Answer Kila, what do you want?”.

“ I'm sorry Ma. I don't want Mama to be angry “, she replied with a sob.

“ If you don't want Mama angry yes horrified what Mama dong Kak said. Here, sit down Mama” deck, I said with a slightly soft tone.

Kila approached me while continuing to cry out loud. I didn't know this cry came from my clasping or the emotional overflow she'd been craving.

“ Brother, sorry Mama yes. Mama has no intention of angry sister. Mama also cape Nak, Mama is also sad as rich Sister. If anyone makes Brother sad, should be talked about with Mama, then the feeling of Brother is relieved “, I said while hugging Kila and Kian who was crying.

“ Brother why Mam? How crying ?”, asked Kica while watching the three of us.

“ Here Kica, hug Sister yes. Mama's children should be strong, crying it can be but don't be long”.

“ Brother want to tell the same story Mama, what the hell makes you sad?”, my question when the crying starts to subside.

“ I don't know Ma, I don't think anything “, he replied.

“ Time yes no nothing kok moody? There is a temen in the same naughty school Brother?”.

“ Ga there, my friend is good all “, he replied.

“ Brother sad ga dapet stars in school?”.

“ Dapet. I always get stars because I can answer Miss” questions.

“ Sister is sad with Nisa's question just now?”.

“ Ga too. I don't even hear Nisa say what?”.

“ Then what dong. You miss Papa huh?”.

My eldest son just fell silent not daring to say. His face bowed as he continued to sob. Kica patted the back of her only sister lovingly, as if she was feeling the sadness she was experiencing.

“ If Brother miss Papa can phone with Mama's phone. You can video call or phone when aja”.

Kila was still silent not pestering my words. All I heard was the deafening whimper and whimper of Kian. My emotions are mixed if I see my children moody like this, I want to ask him as much as he won't answer my questions. My head was throbbing and my emotions seemed like they wanted to explode, wanting to feel like I was screaming to put out a tightness in my chest.

“ Raniaaaaa... How does a bad smell? You've got a little fire yet?” my mother shouted from the kitchen.

I was aghast as I carried Kian running into the kitchen and checking my cake. Smelled of scorching smell from the dough I roasted. Smoke filled the kitchen room, I immediately turned off the stove while opening the oven door. Sure enough, the four brownies I just baked were already dry and blackened.

My knees were limp and my eyes seemed to be twitching. This head throbbed increasingly taut, plus Kian screamed until his voice was deafening. My mother took the burnt pan out onto the table, while I just stared at the brownies that I couldn't sell with pleasure. I don't know what feelings are entering us, a sadness without a cause that often haunts each other.