Treasure, Throne, Renata
The Shady Eyes Rania's Story

05.40 WIB – Home Rania

“ Sister, Kica, wake up already at 6 o'clock. Come take a shower, later Om Agus go fetch”, call me to my two children who are still asleep under the covers.

“ Brother, let's get up, let's have breakfast first”, I said while wiping his hair, but my eldest son was still reluctant to open his eyes. While Kica just squirms and then turns her body.

“ I do not want Ma” school, said Kica.

“ Loh kok not school, new ride big Kindergarten should be spirit dong. Later Master is sad that Kica does not enter”, persuaded me while rubbing his back.

“ After Brother also does not want to go to school he said, I also want to be at home to play Little Pony”.

“ Who said no school, Brother let's wake up son. Mama has prepared you guys tuh”.

Finally the eldest woke up from his sleep, he just sat on the bed with a moody face not excited.

“ I'm dizzy Ma”, he said by squeezing.

I breathed in and said Istigfar in my heart. It is true that my patience has been thinned this is getting eroded. Yesterday the eldest was always moody, now his sister also followed the lazy school. Sometimes they were noisy just because of trivial things, while I had to concentrate on making brownie orders in the midst of the fray of the brothers.

Tin Tiiin

The sound of motor horns sounded in the yard of the house, it turns out that Mas Agus has been stand by to pick up the eldest.

“ Mas, children are not in school like. The somber brother continues, Kica did not want to go to school”, I said behind the fence.

“ Oh is that? Is my sister sick, Mom? You see, from yesterday his face was pale and kept”, replied Mas Agus.

“ I do not know Mas, since his Papa is not there he likes moody”, I replied.

“ Yes I know. Patience Mom, I don't look at children. I've been picking them up for 3 years, so come be sad to hear”.

“ Thanks. Please send the children yes Mas, anyway do not get late to pick up if at school”.

“ Yes Mom, Inshaallah my children take care. Teachers to security guards have also known me”. If the kids don't go to school, I'm going to take another shot. Assalamualaikum”, pamit Mas Agus while turning the motor.

I finally went in and went back to the desk. A dining table that is full of various cake ingredients, basin, scales and mikser ready to fight for windfall. I let Kila and Kica laze around in the room, I'm still upset because I don't think skipping school is justified.

“ Mom, I'm laper. I want breakfast can not ”, whine Kica who suddenly stood next to me.

“ You ate the provisions that Mama had prepared, it was not so go to school ”, I replied ketus.

“ I want to spend time alone Ma, do not want to eat sponge” cake, sungututu.

“ Eat only Nak, Mama is busy this”, I replied with annoyance. Almost the egg I was breaking was crushed because I almost slammed.

“ Grandma makes eggs yes Darling. Kica wait for dede Kian first in the room ya”, said my mother to calm Kica who almost cried because I snapped just now.

“ Rania, kasian your children. Find out why they are rich. Mama also followed the stress that every day everyone in this house was angry”, said my mother while frying eggs for my son.

“ Rania dizzy Ma. Must make a cake, pacing anter pesenan, make a strategy to increase sales, while taking care of 3 children who are now careless. Rania's patience runs out Ma, if you don't want Mama with children, Rania has turned on Ma”, my sobs while holding back tears.

“ Mama is also sad Ran, Mama knows you cape. Your burden is already very much, but you have to keep strong”, he said while frying eggs while occasionally wiping his tears.

“ Already, don't upset the kids huh. If they don't want to go to school is okay, children are not healthy psyche”. Said my mother, spooning rice on a plate to prepare breakfast for them.

I felt guilty for yelling at them all this time, I felt sorry to see them, but my sanity was also getting thinner and thinner. I feel like I need help this time.

Suddenly I remembered the psychologist contact Yasmin had given me the other day. Although I felt ashamed and hesitant to contact him, but this time my mind was not able to bear all the burdens, I could not bear all this alone.

I took my phone and I sent him a message via WhatsApp.

“ Good Morning. I'm Rania, I happened to contact Mr. Yasmin. I want to ask, can I make a schedule for counseling?. What are the terms & conditions? Thank you”.

I sent him the message, actually I'm not sure he'll return my message. Especially if this counseling is voluntary, maybe the enrollment is immeasurable.

PINGING

Pradipta Erlangga

“ Good Morning Ibu Rania. For counseling please fill out the form first, the schedule will be arranged according to the available slot. If you can tell where my mother is? My practice clinic is in Cilandak South Jakarta, are you willing to attend the clinic for counseling?”.

I was surprised by the psychologist's response. I thought he wouldn't return my message. Soon my finger typed back the message.

“ My location in South Tangerang. Cilandak not so far, if there is a slot I want to list sir. Sorry, but is this counseling paid? Then how much is it?”.

PINGING

Pradipta Erlangga

I immediately filled out the form given. Quiz self data to the problems that I have experienced for the past few months. Once everything is filled, I send it via the email that is listed in the message.

Soon I finished making the Brownies cake that I hadn't touched. The buzzing cake mixer stirred the mixture of eggs, sugar and butter until it expanded. While waiting for the mixer that was rotating automatically, I prepared the oven so that my borwnies were ready to be baked.

PINGING

“ Good Morning Ibu Rania. I am Tiwi from the House of Peace . This afternoon there is the first counseling schedule with Mr. Pradipta at 13.00 WIB. Please answer YES if you are ready and NOT when it is an obstacle. I'm waiting for confirmation. Thank you”.

I gasped at the invitation, it turned out that soon I got a counseling schedule, and it was free alias free. Without a second thought I immediately typed YA on my phone.

12.55 WIB – Peace House

My eyes go around every corner in the old-fashioned house but clean well maintained. The walls are predominantly white with frames made of teak wood. On each wall is plastered abstract paintings that seize attention, staring at the artwork on display there is enough to dispel my boredom. This place is beyond what I imagined. I thought this clinic would be like a rigid doctor's practice, but it turns out that this place is in accordance with its name, a peaceful home that brings peace to anyone who visits it.

“ Ms. Rania Chairunnisa, please enter Mr. Pradipta's room. Let me take Bu“, said an admin with a pin that read Tiwi on his chest. It turned out that she was Madam Tiwi the admin who contacted me this morning.

I walked behind Mbak Tiwi while paying attention to every corner of the room that was very homey. Until we finally stopped in front of an open room, Ms. Tiwi knocked slowly while talking to the man inside.

“ Excuse Mr. Dipta, Bu Rania is here ya”.

“ Please enter Tiwi, thank ya”, replied the voice in the room nuanced white.

I entered the room, looking like a bespectacled man in a navy blue shirt and soft khaki pants. The man stood up to greet me as he approached towards the door.

“ Happy Afternoon Mother Rania, come sit”, greet her with a warm smile. He invited me to sit on a two-seater tosca sofa in the corner of the room.

“ Introduce me Pradipta Erlangga. Just call me Dipta just”, he said with a smile.

“ I call Mas Dipta only, please if you call the name “, I replied groggy.

“ Can I call Rania only? I think we're the same age?”, the joke.

“ May please Mas, enough Rania course”.

“ Oya, would you like a drink? I will not bargain macem-macem, because there is only “ tea, the joke again. He walked on a dispenser while preparing tea on a console table with a wooden shelf on it. There are a variety of small jars that contain a variety of tea arranged neatly. Once again I was so amazed at this place, it was like being at home, my inner being.

“ Please drink, hope you like the taste”, said Mas Dipta while carrying a tray and thrusting a cup of warm tea to me. I take the cup slowly, hot steam appears to be billowing the aroma of tea that tickles the nose.

I sipped the tea slowly, the water was not too hot, the sweetness was very fitting on my tongue.

“ How does it feel? No sweetness? I was most stubborn if the female client, afraid of being protested because he could not make teh”, he asked while sipping tea in his cup.

“ No Mas. Everything is just right, I love a tea with a sweet tinge like this. If my in-laws say the sweet taste of guava, not too sweet but not tawar”, I replied.

“ You have a story about the taste of this tea apparently, if you like I want to listen to”, he said while putting his tea cup. His eyes glistened at me deeply.

“ My husband really likes sweet tea like his mother made. It was a tradition in his family to prepare sweet tea for breakfast or iftar. His mother taught me to make tea like this, he said so as not to get used to the sweet, afraid of getting diabetes he said”.

“ But now this tea I only enjoy alone, after my husband left me to pursue his love and career in the time when I was just giving birth. Since then my life and the kids have spun 180 degrees . My heart is broken, as well as the psychic children who carelessly every day”.

“ Do you have a friendship circle that strengthens you? A fella? Brother?”, askanya.

“ Exist. Thank God my friend always strengthens me. Even though we lived in a different city they always gave us support and attention. I also helped my best friend a lot for the trial to support in order to be financially independent”.

“ Thank goodness, you are not alone. You must be grateful for their presence, because the good people are who you are now”, he said, looking at me with a smile that never escaped his lips.

Pradipta picked up a file that said my name on the cover. He crossed his legs while reading the documents in his hands.

“ I have read at a glance about the assessment that you have filled this morning, there are still some assessments that I want to observe more deeply. But we just chat, do not need to be serious like working on psychotes”.

“ Good Mas, please ask anything “, I replied.

“ But before we have to equalize the frequency first yes. Once you apply for counseling, it means that we both have to be cooperative for this counseling to go according to plan. I will help treat your inner wounds, as well as you must help me so that this mentoring process runs smoothly within 3 months. Until here anyone wants to ask?”.

“ No Mas, it's clear enough. I'm willing”.

“ Good Rania, you can express from the beginning what has been your anxiety so far. I'm ready to listen to “.

Finally all these stories flowed from my lips, all the turmoil and heartache that I had so far been harboring came out. Pradipta just kept quiet while looking at me with his shady eyes, as he occasionally took notes on the file he was holding. Highlights of his eyes indicate he is listening, observing and providing empathy. An attention I haven't had in a long time.