Under The Rain's
Chapter 8—Memory Box

The adorable painting by Kaia reminds Reva of a chess-playing bemotif plastic storage box that Rafael gave her as her 15th birthday present. According to Reva, the box is very beautiful, with a thick plastic meterial that is very high quality, and there is a mini padlock feature outside. The size is also quite large, so Reva can store various objects there. The things that Rafael had given to Reva were still in the box. Everything was.

Watches, puzzles, bracelets and necklaces accessories, glasses, purses, diary books, photo frames. It's all Rafael's giving every time Reva's birthday. Kris never knew about it, because Reva actually kept the box safe, inside a suitcase that also had a key. The suitcase is always under the bed.

Nine years. During that time Reva considered the chess-patterned box was gone, until finally only then did he have the courage to open it again. When Reva can make peace with the fact that Rafael has left and will never return for him. She has a beautiful heart with other women. Reva tried sincerely.

Slowly Reva opened the box. His first touch alone was already capable of making memories of that many years of friendship instantly gush through the air. And when the box opens, Reva can smell the fragrance of Rafael's signature perfume that immediately invades her sense of smell. In the past, Reva did routinely spray perfume commonly used by Rafael into the box, so that he could always feel close to him. Reva did not expect that after nine years, the aroma of bergamot combined with cedar-wood was still attached even though it was very faint.

Reva's fingers began to venture into the contents of the box. He took out the objects inside one by one, all of which were still in excellent condition as new. Since long ago, he was always reluctant to wear items given by Rafael because he was afraid to damage it. That sometimes made the man upset, because he felt it was futile to give a gift to Reva. But after Reva explained the reason, he finally understood.

It takes tremendous power for Reva to navigate the grim path to her past, which she has for years avoided dying. It is unclear what he felt at the time. Sad, angry, disappointed, desperate and helpless all combined into one. A tear began to fall in the corner of his eye. A sheet that became two circles, then became three, until finally wet was both cheeks. He needed to take many deep breaths to dampen the vibrations on his shoulders due to the outpouring of emotions he felt from within his heart.

Just a little while Reva breathed a long breath, he again choked when his fingers opened a mini album. The album contains dozens of photos of him and Rafael. Dozens of photos were taken over a dozen years, from the time he was born until he separated from the man. Yes, Reva was only eighteen when they separated nine years ago.

Reva opens sheet by sheet of photos in the album. Rafael who was eating, smiled, pouted. Raphael who was embracing her, was holding her, holding her hand. Rafael who's bare-chested, wearing a shirt, a hoodie. Reva didn't even see herself in the pictures. Only Rafael and Rafael.

***

Reva has loved Rafael since childhood, even long before she understood the meaning of love. I don't know when exactly it started, which is for sure, Reva went through her school days with a sense of belonging to the man. Raphael only considered him a friend. Never more. He was always kind to Reva because his parents always taught him that. Just that extent. On the other hand, Reva was so infatuated with the young man that she never dated anyone else.

Reva and Rafael are both smart. They are very prominent in the academic field. The difference is, Reva is very diligent while her best friend is a total slacker. Therefore, Reva always writes notes for him, does his job, helps him summarize, makes masterpieces, while the young man continues to be engrossed in his video games. Reva never complained in the slightest, even on the contrary, he was very happy because every time Rafael always invited him to visit his home. They sit side by side every day. One is serious about doing the task, one is busy with games while continuing to jail the person next to him.

The love of the same things strengthened the friendship of Reva and Rafael. They both love the rock and metal genres, as well as the action-thriller films. They are equally crazy about world history, warfare and conspiracy theories. Rafael rarely finds this match in other women, so he likes to talk and joke with Reva to discuss silly and random things.

One thing that really makes Reva happy is that Rafael is not shy about admitting that they are close friends. Rafael did not hesitate to walk beside him, sharing food with him, and he also did not mind to pour out his heart. So, even though Rafael is a famous playboy, Reva is not worried because the young man still always pays attention to him.

Being Rafael's best friend was something that was not easy for Reva. Just imagine, every time Rafael has a new crush, he immediately tells Reva and asks her to find information about the girl. He also asked Reva to choose a gift, choose a date, choose a perfume, choose which photo is best to display on social media. Rafael even asks Reva for advice whenever his girlfriends lash out. Goddamnit! Reva how to understand! He himself has never been in a relationship.

Reva was so overwhelmed with a dilemma, between the pleasure of hearing Rafael so open to him, and the heartache of each time the man flattered another woman.

It took a dozen years for Rafael to realize that Reva secretly likes him. But honestly, it wasn't entirely his fault.

Reva is very quiet and always looks cold. He has a calm personality and can keep his emotions well in front of others. Reva was never seen crying and sad, only her flat expression was plastered even though she was harboring a fierce turmoil of love and jealousy. His attitude never changed even though Rafael unconsciously hurt him many times. Reva is like a rigid robot. How can Rafael know that the girl is harboring a feeling?

In addition, Rafael also did not see Reva's interest in men at all, because the girl continued to talk about novels and animated series. In fact, Rafael had thought that Reva was an abnormally ambitious woman who only cared about her school values.

Reva never allowed Rafael to know his feelings, as he was afraid of ruining their friendship. Reva is aware that every man is dating, at least only lasting two or three months, while Reva has been with him for a dozen years since they were toddlers. Reva knows that Rafael is not a man of romantic interest, and only dates for fun and meets his ego as a cool man.

***

There won't be enough days for Reva to tell her whole story with Rafael. Therefore, he likes to collect photos with the man, to help him tell stories and convey his taste.

Long time also Reva was washed away in the photos because he just kept flipping through his pages and repeating every scene in the photo in his head. Until finally, Reva arrived at the last page of the album and her chest felt very tight.

A black-and-white ultrasound photo tucked in there. Age seven weeks. Reva's children were with Rafael who died shortly after he was born.

Reva's cry was unstoppable again at that time. When he holds a photo of his fetus and holds it tightly in his chest. For a while he let those big emotions overwhelm him. Reva doesn't want to fight anymore. He wants to be free. He wants to forget everything.