Under The Rain's
Chapter 9—Goodbye, Honey

Nine years ago.

Rafael suddenly cannot be reached after he learns that Reva is pregnant with his fetus. It disappeared. Not returning messages or picking up the phone from Reva, also rarely at home when Reva visits. Reva was so panicked and frustrated that she couldn't eat and sleep, and she started having anxiety attacks. However, Reva kept it a secret from anyone, as she felt very embarrassed and scared.

Reva's pregnancy can be said to be very torturous. Women who have low blood pressure often feel unbearable dizziness. He had nausea and vomiting throughout the day, which made him not eager to eat at all. Not many nutrients enter the first trimester of pregnancy, which of course makes his face look pale.

Reva repeatedly asked permission from his office to rest because he could not stand for long. Many times he also missed important courses, which eventually made him not pass the smester exam assessment. Reva stays unmoved. He still does not want to share his problems with anyone, because he really feels guilty for the stupidity he has done.

Reva was really trying to get through that delusion all by herself. Rafael fled the matter without looking back in the slightest. He grimaced all day and night in confusion as to what to do. He did not expect that Rafael could do such a thing to him, nor did he expect to be cast out in such a cruel way.

It took a very long time for Reva to make Rafael feel more than just friendship for him. Reva is happy when the man finally declares love, after years of clapping his hands. At that time they both just graduated from High School, when Rafael grasped the hand of Reva and asked her out on a date by circling the city of Bandung with his favorite motorcycle all night. They stopped occasionally to buy snacks and take leisurely walks, and Rafael never let go of his grasp. Their first kiss even happened that night, which made Reva so upset because she felt the wait was not in vain.

Unfortunately, romance is not as smooth as friendship. They become more quarreling, as Rafael feels Reva has become demanding, while Reva begins to doubt Rafael's feelings and becomes distrustful of him. However, Reva does have her own reasons, because even after they date Rafael still does not leave his playboy habits.

Reva should have known that. Reva should have realized that her favorite Rafael was not a good couple. Reva should have understood that his disposition was like that long ago. Love is blind, right? Reva even heard Rafael's playboy story from his own mouth, when the man casually said that getting a woman was easy for him. Reva used to laugh, thinking that Rafael's victims were just a bunch of stupid women. And it turns out, he was just as stupid as all of them. Reva thinks he will survive, it turns out he is not strong when really living it alone.

Rafael had no qualms about abortion when Reva broke the news of her pregnancy. Abortionists. So tega. Once he said the word right on Reva's face, which immediately made the woman very hit. Reva doesn't want to. He did not want to add to the long list of mistakes by eliminating the fetus. He can't. He can't bear.

In addition, Rafael also continues to seek a defense. He even had doubts if the fetus was his. Words that felt a very heinous accusation to Reva. More heinous than the discussion of abortion that was previously thrown. Reva was even speechless when denigrated like that.

Whose fetus? Reva was drowning when she heard it. Why was such a question directed at him? Reva never even looked at another man because in his eyes there was only Rafael. He's very hurt.

Reva's problem doesn't stop there. When he finally managed to get Rafael's heart, his father was exposed to a very embarrassing case. Adi, his father, commits fraud and manipulates data which leads to heavy losses at Pram's company, Rafael's father. In fact, Adi has worked for a dozen years, but that did not stop him from committing fraud and embezzlement that ended his working relationship with Pram.

The relationship between the two colleagues stretched, even Adi until almost reported to the police, although eventually he only had to pay a fine of hundreds of millions with a black agreement on white.

The reason for the dispute was that Reva did not dare to talk about her pregnancy to her father and mother, because her own family was being overwhelmed by various problems. He also did not dare to complain about Rafael's attitude to his parents, because Reva felt very embarrassed about what his father had done. Pram probably already hated the Reva family back then. And Reva, who felt that he had been greatly humbled by Rafael, did not want to be humbled by his entire family as well. Therefore, he preferred to be quiet and not fight.

Reva's pain is not only limited to his physical increasingly concerned, his mental condition is also very messy. Finally, the stifling caress of depression began to come over him, until it slowly took control of his entire mind.

It is Krishna, the man sent by the universe to help Reva when he has no one to defend her. Kris is a co-worker of Reva, also a senior on her campus two stories older. Just like Reva, Kris's financial condition forced her to go to college while working. Kris and Reva often take the same job, such as being a tutoring teacher, cook helper and dabbling in the world of event organizers.

Kris realizes that something is wrong when Reva begins to ask for time off due to illness, so he diligently finds out about what is happening to him. Reva, who finally felt that Kris was very sincere in helping him, began to be moved to accept the helping hand, and was willing to tell his problems to the man.

Upon entering the second trimester, Reva decided to leave the house as her stomach was getting bigger. Both of his parents were fighting hard every day. Trivial things became very big, and they always yelled at each other and snapped. Reva who felt severe stress in such conditions finally asked for permission to leave the house on the grounds of wanting to work out of town.

In fact, Kris rented a boarding room for Reva, which was located near her home. Every day Kris cooks for Reva, and gives her various types of work that can be done at home. The man really put everything at his disposal to save Reva's life. And without Reva realizing it, Kris has fallen in love with her.

Reva's early pregnancy had many complications, but she did not have the money to consult a specialist often. She really resigned when she had to give birth with the help of a midwife who did not even have a good reputation. Then, that terrible tragedy happened.

At that time, the baby's umbilical cord comes out first, thus blocking the supply of oxygen for babies who are still squeezed inside. The end of the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck until he was unable to breathe, which eventually led to death in the birth canal. The placenta, which separates too early from the uterine wall, also causes it to suffer from nutritional deficiencies. So, when finally the baby was successfully removed, he was very small.

Reva cried so much while holding her dead baby who was still covered in blood. The first time for him to sob to scream hysterically like that. Reva is not a whiny woman who is easily hurt. He is very strong and strong. But that time, the deep sorrow of clutching his lifeless son left him deeply shaken. His first son was very handsome even though his body was very tiny. Reva crying. Reva cried for a long time. He could not stop even though he was so tired from crying. His soul was completely torn to shreds at that moment.

Goodbye, dear, please forgive Mama. Reva's last words to his eldest son as the burial ground began to bury his small body which was already wrapped in a shroud. After a religious ritual obligation was performed at a local place of worship, Reva laid the tiny corpse into a burrow with her own two hands, kissed it and hugged it tightly before she let it go for good. To rest eternally in nature there without having time to know who the mother who has given birth to him. Of course he did that while being watched by a local funeral attendant. Kris was also beside him at the time, because otherwise Reva would not have been able to stand up to the funeral procession until the end.

Reva returned to her dorm room feeling empty. Something as huge as if it had been snatched from him and left a huge gaping hole within his soul. For days, he could only lie limp without actually falling asleep, and he also barely ate anything. The puerperal blood is still flowing and it is still running with a crush after giving birth. Reva also had severe bleeding after childbirth which made her have to undergo a bed-rest.

Reva opened her phone. The first news he received after days of not touching the object was rumors of Rafael's marriage with Nadia. Reva didn't know what to respond to the news. He was very broken. Rafael never knew his eldest son had just died. Neither his parents nor Rafael's parents knew that their first grandchild had been born, though he soon returned at the same time. Reva was absolutely determined to seal it tightly in the deepest recesses of her heart.

Reva was eighteen at the time. As he leaves his past life and moves away from everyone to calm himself down. He never came back. Never returned to his school or even to his family. The depression that gnawed at her for years made Reva withdraw from her surroundings, and carried her away with the wind in the rainy season.