All About Missing
Longing Memories

***

"Rindu .. I've missed you so much. Why did you just leave? Why don't you be frank? Why make a decision like this? I shouldn't have gone to Grandma's house, I should have seen you every day, I should have asked about your circumstances back then. Ahhhh!"

Ardian rubbed his face rough and closed his eyes for a moment. Then he got out of bed and stepped onto the study table. Then pick up a book neatly tucked away in that desk drawer. He recalled, the book was a gift from Missing last year. The black-coated diary is still empty. The design is very unique, there are even ropes and pirate steering hangers on the top. During this time Ardian felt there was nothing important to be poured into the book.

On the front page, Ardian wrote a word with a white pen. The word is beautifully written, a very meaningful word—Rindu. Ardian took the black inked pen and opened the first page.

Ardian took a long breath. Resisting sadness, staring fixedly at the tip of the pen. He had to do it, in order for the memories of Missing to stay awake.

310513

Homesickness ….

Today is the first time I've written black ink on this book, your gift book. You said someday I'd need it. And now I really need to write down my memories with you.

Today you suddenly disappeared, you know, what is my situation now?

I'm crazy Miss, I lost you so much, why did you just leave?

I love you, I love you so much.

I haven't even been able to say that line to you. Miss where you went?

Face lifted, he closed his eyes holding the warm liquid so as not to return to flow. The book was closed Ardian, then tied and stored back to the drawer neatly. Then Ardian picked up the phone lying next to the pillow and sat on the edge of the bed. Ardian dialed Miss's number once again, but it still wasn't connected. Then he tried to call Alan or Alen, similarly, not connected either. Ardian opened a photo gallery on his phone. He looked at the photos with Miss. Ardian lay down his body, then clutched the phone that looks Miss face on the screen.

Because of his insensitivity, because of his stupidity that does not recognize his love faster. He must feel the loss now.

"Rindu .. forgive me for being so stupid. I'm sorry I was late to realize my feelings. Sorry miss, my love is late. I regret it now."

With all his regrets. Ardian hugged as if it was Miss who he was hugging. Eyes were closed, hoping to see Miss in her shadow. His body was tired and Ardian was asleep with the shadow of the girl he missed.

***

When morning comes.

Mama Della looked anxiously waiting for Ardian to come out of the room. Last night Ardian stayed in his private room, not eating or drinking. It was fortunate that Ardian did not lock the door, so Mama Della could freely go in and see how she was. The dinner that Mama Della brought last night was not touched by Ardian at all.

Mama Della breathed heavily. Ardian was still asleep with his phone on next to his head. The phone was taken and placed on the nightstand next to the bed. He knows, Ardian must be tired because yesterday running around at the airport. I don't eat all day either. The woman was very concerned about the situation of her only son.

"Ardi .. wake up, son." Mama Della wiggles the body of the son. I wish Ardian would get up and come down to eat.

Ardian got up and wriggled his muscles. The eyes also open slowly, still appear reddish tinge and slightly swollen. "Mama ... Why, Ma?"

"Wake up, honey. Eat first, from yesterday you haven't eaten, have you?"

"Ardi's not hungry yet, Ma."

"Don't do this, Ardi, you're eating today. Not good like this, even though you feel sad, but you must still maintain health. What if it hurts? You don't want to, do you worry Mama?" Says Della softly.

"Alright, but Ardi took a shower first."

"Yes ... Mama wait for you below ya."

"Yes, Ma …."

Mama Della smiled as she rubbed Ardian's hand. Giving a positive response to Ardian so that his son felt calm. What a mother should do to her son when he is having problems. Then Della's mother left Ardian's room and closed the door slowly.

Ardian is now looking for the whereabouts of his phone. He recalled putting it next to his head last night. When his eyes were fixed on the nightstand, he heaved a sigh of relief. Then Ardian took and looked back at the photos that were still plastered on the screen. Ardian brings the phone to his lips and then kisses the photo of Miss.

After saying good morning, Ardian kissed the photo back. Then he moved and headed to the bathroom. Today Ardian is going to Miss home. Asking the news to his family. Ardian wants to catch up with Miss wherever she is. Even to the ends of the world, he would definitely come to meet his beloved.

***

Ardian returns home disappointed, having found no one in Miss's house. Ardian again shut himself in the room, lamenting his regrets. Suddenly there was a knock from the door.

"Ardi .. Darling, can Mama come in?" mama Della's voice came after the third beat.

Ardian got up and opened the door. Then he sat down leaning on his study desk chair. Mama Della followed in her son's footsteps and sat on the edge of the bed. Ardian turned to face his mother.

"Ardi .. Where did you come from?" ask Mama Della softly.

"From the homes of the Misses, Ma."

"Then?"

"There's nobody. Maybe they have all moved to Mama Dahlia's hometown" replied Ardian. He was just guessing. Not necessarily what he thought was right.

Ardian looked back moody. All the answers he answered with a lowered face. Mama Della looked at the beloved son. Poor thing, that's what Mama Della feels. It was as if he had come to feel what kind of hardship Ardian was feeling right now.

"Ardi .. Mama wants to say something."

"Emm ... What would you say?"

"When are you going to be moody like this?"

"Come, Ma. Ardi felt no spirit at all."

"You really love Miss?"

"Of course, Ma. Otherwise why could Ardi feel pain like this now? Once Ardi realized the feeling to Miss, it all felt very heavy."

"Then you won't think about the future anymore?"

"I mean, Mama?"

"here, Honey. Sit next to Mama."

Mama Della grabs her son's hand and invites him to sit next to her. Mama Della stroked Ardian's hair, as was her habit all along. Even though Ardian is now an adult, for Mama Della, his son is still a child who will still be spoiled. At least for a certain time like this.

"Mama understands, Mama's son is now really an adult. I can already know what love is."

"But it's too late, Ma."

"We can't guess love, honey. Everything we want will not necessarily be the same as what love wants. Now maybe you are hurt, and separated from your love. Maybe someday you'll find a way to make it back."

"Really, Ma ... Ardi can still meet Miss?"

"Of course, you just need to be sure, someday you'll see each other again."

"Thank you, Ma, thank you for convincing Ardi. Ardi dear Mama."

They hugged each other. Mama Della tries to calm the mood of her heartbroken son.

***