All About Missing
Sorry and thank you

***

130815

I just had a dream that you came to me. We went for a walk on the beach, but you didn't talk at all. We run and play like we used to. At dusk, you suddenly said an apology and help me. You smile but your face has been soaked with tears. Then you suddenly disappeared into the fog.

I was so scared, I was looking for your whereabouts. Are you okay there? I hope nothing bad happens.

***

020221

Today I came to see you from a distance. You're holding a little girl who looks similar to you. I am a coward standing in the dark.

Are you happy, Miss?

Eight years long, the time I spent without you is not easy. During these eight years I also harbored a sense of Love that is getting deeper and deeper. I regretted my stupidity for realizing true love too late.

I miss you so much. When I found out you were happy, I gave up. Trying to forget and keep our memories.

You have suffered so much all this time. If only I had found you earlier, maybe now we'd be happy with our little family.

***

080321

I returned to quote wise words. Words that represent the struggle of my love for you.

'Love doesn't begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.' – James Baldwin

(Love doesn't start and end the way we think. Love is battle, love is war; love is growing up)

***

090321

These words I will hold for the rest of my life.

'Only one love can bind one's soul. The place will not change in the heart. That's real love, true love. While the other love, can be anywhere in the heart. You can come and go just like that.'

I wish I was the one who bound your soul, Miss.

***

100321

'I love you, without beginning, without end. I love you because you have become a much needed organ in my body. Without fear. Hopeless. I want nothing in return, except that you allow me to keep you here in my heart, that I may always know your strength, your eyes, and your spirit which gives me freedom and lets me fly.' - Jamie Weise

That's what you mean to me.

Miss, I love you.

***

110321

***

Meanwhile on the first floor, inside the security office. Agnes was still with her anger, she was not allowed to leave before Ardian came. Make a fuss and trouble the security guard there.

"Sir! Open the door ... You guys don't be reckless! I can report you to the Director!" Agatha's screams deafened her ears. The office door was repeatedly hit.

It seems that the two security guards locked Agnes inside. The room is only 3x4. They were forced, otherwise they would have run out in the claws with the woman's long nails. Now they have a scratch on their hands, reddened and a little sore.

A few minutes later, Ardian came with Eja—assisten to his trust.

"Boss," said the two security guards saluting.

"Get him out!" ardian's orders were firm.

"Good, Boss."

The woman came out with her chirping that could not be silent. But when he saw Ardian in front of him, he fell silent. "Armandian …."

"What business did you come looking for me for?" The man asked with his cold attitude.

"Ardi, I miss you. I came all the way from London just to see you" he said.

"Huh .. how many times do I have to say. Don't you ever bother me again. We have no relationship whatsoever." Ardian confirmed his words.

"But, Ardian. Our family ... why ka—"

"Enough!" Ardian's blood was boiling. The woman always used the same excuse whenever it came "Don't make me rise in blood! I didn't report to the police it was so good!" Strictly with a pressing intonation.

"Ja–so, that woman really is your lover?" ask Agnes stammering. There is no doubt, Ardian is very protective of the newly met woman.

"Of course!" Ardian yelled to the point of making the woman go up, then snorted in annoyance. "Listen .. I gave you a warning. I will not hesitate to be rude even with women. Once again you touch my woman. I won't stay silent. Don't show that rotten face in front of me again, okay!"

Agnes felt a little threatened, Ardian's speech was really piercing. His heart felt pinched for a moment, he fell silent in silence. Ardian passed by, approaching the assistant who was standing not far behind him. After saying a few things, the man left. The woman was released in a state of annoyance after hearing a message delivered by Ardian through the assistant.

With her frustration Agnes headed for the basement, where she parked the vehicle. He waited all day for Ardian's arrival and this kind of treatment was obtained. With his personality unwilling to lose, this would not end so easily. How could he lose to someone else. The principle in his life, he should be able to get whatever he wants. Otherwise the woman will ruin and destroy it.

Agnes sat pensively in her car. He seems to be thinking. Trying to recall the face of the woman he met in Ardian's office.

Long enough he was silent. Then Agnes opened a photo gallery on her phone. It seems he remembered, had seen Miss's face through a photo. A moment later he seemed to pull the corner of his lips. A plan came to his mind. Then he looked up the contact name of someone who was on the phone and made a call.

***

On the other hand, Miss is focusing on reading the contents of the Ardian diary she took on the table. He reads sheet by sheet, page by page. Every word, every sentence written there made him touched. His heart was filled at that instant.

A few times Miss wiped her wet cheeks because of her tears. Every page of the book made her want to cry out loud. Every writing date there he matched the day of his activities at that time. There was one page that made her cry incessantly.

"Ardi, was your dream today when I experienced that incident? Hah .. It turns out my message that day reached you. God sends through dreams. Thank you for worrying about me," Inner Missed said. "For more than eight years. Every day you think of me. I'm happy, even though it's too late for me to know. Sorry and thank you. I feel like I'm back to our good times. A time when I'm the only one who fought so hard to hold back my love for you."

I miss holding that leather-bound diary inside her chest. He sat down and leaned his head against the sofa. Drops upon drops of liquid coming down from the dam of the eye, followed by many times. Thin white paper splattered a lot on the floor. I do not know how many sheets of tissue he used to wipe the tears that were shed.

***