Due to Prohibited CBC
I'm tired

I was busy taking care of the house and taking care of my two children makes me almost stressed, no husband wants to help me. I am like a widow who lives my two children alone, from making money to taking care of my children. I am very upset with what is happening to me at this time, really sorry to choose to marry Mas Angga. But the rice has become porridge, regret always comes at the end. I lamented my poor fate, my two young children added to my condition which is now two-bodied. 

I stared at the clock on the wall, which was about time for me to cook, set foot into the kitchen and focused on cooking food. No ingredients in cooking make me scratch my head, sigh deeply while looking once again, where do you know there is still a handful of rice or vegetables that can be cooked. 

I searched for quite a while, indeed there was nothing to cook other than finding a handful of rice. I felt no tears dripping, I quickly wiped my tears, there was no point in me crying. I divided the rice in half to eat my son, the King. 

I purposely gave half the rice a lot of water, hoping to make it a stomach booster for today.

I don't care if I don't eat, but what about my son who needs food, and the Queen who needs formula. 

The absence of choice made me pry the chicken savings I had saved for a long time, of course I saved for anxiety and for my two young children. 

When I kept the chicken piggy bank, I felt something pull my shirt. Immediately I looked down and found the crying King, I could not bear it and immediately carried him. 

"You must be hungry, baby, be patient." My words kissed the King's head. 

A piece of red money enough to buy milk and groceries, I could not bear to leave my two children and was forced to take them to the stall. 

The distance from the stall to the house was quite far, but I had no choice but to take it. 

"Eh, Dance." 

I who felt called immediately turned to the source of the voice, saw a beautiful woman looking at me reassuring her doubts. 

"Santi." I reply while remembering his name, he was my companion when I used to work as TKW in Taiwan. 

"How are you?" 

I welcome that hug because it has not been seen for a long time, I am very happy to meet an old friend who was like a brother when we were abroad. I saw him who was watching my two children, I understood what was on his mind. 

"They are my children, King and Queen."

"Hello Sweetie." Santi rubbed the cheeks of my two children in turn, he smiled kindly as he greeted. 

"Both of your sons are very small."

"Yes, they're pretty close." 

"People's love if you give your sister, you don't join the KB program?" sidelong Santi made me bow in lethargy while nodding slowly. 

"It's true."

"Yes, I have to go." I don't want to say more to Santi and keep it, afraid to backfire later. 

I walked very quickly to the stall and bought some of my necessities, gave me a red note and then I took the change.

Arriving at home, I immediately cooked after putting my two children to bed first. It's so hard to get married and fight alone, I just hope after the birth of my third child I don't experience the baby blues, it's very influential on my two children. 

"only this? Is this food you can serve?" 

The scathing criticism from my husband managed to make my spirit fade, it was easy for him to comment without trying more. "If you want more food at least give more money." 

Brakes

"I'm hungry, but you prepare this porridge-like rice. Is there nothing but cooking eggs and tempeh? I'm bored." 

I gasped in shock at the crack of the table strong enough, that right woke up my two children who had fallen asleep. "Do you have a stomach yourself, Mom? If you want to eat well yes work there, do not know just hang out and play mobile phone. You criticized my cooking without thinking about giving me very minimal spending money. We already have two children and soon become three children, the basic needs are all up. You ... give me only six hundred thousand a month, am I not crazy thinking about spending that is even greater than the income you give." I took out all my uneg-uneg on Angga's mas, even without the "gold" frills". 

"Six hundred thousand is enough to eat us for a month, you are just wasteful and can not manage finances." 

"Yes, I'm wasteful. I challenge you Mas, to go to the market and bring money six hundred thousand for one month, if you succeed I will not complain anymore." By being forced to give him a challenge, let Mas Angga know how the price of all the ingredients on the market and the needs that have been reduced. 

Back when we were married, he gave me eight hundred rupiah to a million dollars a week. But since our son was two, the money he gave me has been reduced. I began to wonder, what is this? What my husband is hiding. 

"Ah, if this is how I lose my appetite." 

Again like that Angga mas, not giving me shopping money instead always criticize my cooking. He wanted to eat chicken or beef, which I probably followed his will and preferred formula milk to my two children. 

I intentionally left after closing the saji hood on the table, because if hungry, Angga would eat it too. I do not want to take a headache, my burden is very much will not want me to add more. 

In the middle of the night, I quietly cried with all the circumstances that made me so tired, being a mother and wife who endlessly worked like a horse was very energy-forsing. 

"I'm tired." Two words that were spoken on my lips, I was eager to scream and vent them all.  

****

"Mom will stay with us!" 

I was silent for a moment, the arrival of my mother-in-law made me very difficult. Not because I hated him, but our relationship hasn't been good since that day. 

"When?" 

"Tomorrow he's here, serve him with rendang and here's the money." 

I glanced at the fifty thousand dollars on the giving table from the Angga mas, rendang bacon? Did he not know the price of meat in the market was very expensive, for a mile could reach a hundred and twenty thousand and he only gave me fifty thousand. I hurried after him and asked for more. 

"I can't make meat rendang, the money's not enough." 

"You're a girl, you have to be smart to manage your husband's finances."