I WISH THERE WAS HAPPINESS
CHAPTRE 11

“What do you mean, anyway? Why do you think it's the same cave?” I asked Joseph, not believing.

Joseph seemed to take a deep breath, he also seemed to be in a state of confusion with his own thoughts. “He's a guy, Eli, danger, try, just this once, you recede the cave, don't be clumsy with him,” he said, I still don't think out.

Eli was a call to me from Joseph, he called me that when we talked about serious things or when Joseph was angry. Only Joseph called me Eli, and that being special, I never let anyone else call me Eli.

I rolled my eyeballs, lazy. “There's no other reason? You don't realize that you're a guy, you forget, what's up?” I said, I looked at him sharply.

“Different, Li, cave temen lu, your best friend, can't possibly cave harmin you,” he replied.

“Who said? Lu, can you have bad thoughts about the cave, you can just plan something behind the cave, no one knows, everything can change at any time,”, I said.

“Oh, so the kayak cave is in your eyes all this time, do not expect the cave, Li, the cave even though you have known you for a long time. Just know another guy, you immediately like the same cave, Li, tega lu,” he said.

I've, enough is enough, I've caught my breath with this, I'm tired, but Joseph doesn't stop. “Elu the heart! Lu said, you have known the cave for a long time, why don't you understand too! Why even ban the cave is not clear like that, we do not have any relationship, why do you all the same cave?” I couldn't help myself anymore, I yelled at him.

“Gua just want to protect you, the cave does not want you why-why, just that can cave lakanin, the cave can only mastiin you from far away, please understand the cave,” he said, sounding clear.

“Ngertiin you? You should know the cave, you should ask why the face of the cave until the tip, why the cave is late out of the office, not discuss important things like gini!” snapped to him.

“Lu ... you don't why-why, ‘kan?” he asked, wrong way.

“Basi!” myrag.

I got up from the seat, fortunately it was quiet and not many people passed by. I left Joseph in a hurry, I knew he must have followed me, but I didn't care, I kept walking quickly.

“Eli?” call him.

I just kept walking without poking Joseph's call, today I don't know why I feel so unlucky, I really don't think I can argue with Joseph like this.

“Rinda?” calling him, I felt Joseph grabbing my hand, then he pulled me, so I inevitably stopped my steps. “Rin, we must straighten first, do not believe it,” the door.

“Lease! The cave is tired, justin the cave home,” I said, firmly.

“Bone cave, Rin,” said.

“No need, cave can go home by yourself, off!” I tried to take his hand off my arm, but since I was already weak, I could not let go of his.

As if to perfect my day that has been destroyed, nature also adds chaos. The rain began to fall, with thunderous roars of lightning striking each other and his lightning that painted an irregular line in the night sky, my heart was completely swayed by the circumstances.

My heart ached so much, my head ached so suddenly, and maybe because I was stressed and hungry, my stomach acid rose until my throat was hot and sore. My condition is terrible in the true sense, I am tired and have resigned to all the events that are now happening to me.

I had just felt the beauty, I had just felt the acceptance, I had just felt the attention of others, but the universe easily showed its reality. I want to be angry, I want to scream, but I'm weak, I don't know who to blame.

“Rin?” call again.

“Lease!” I shouted, in the rain that had fallen so hard.

“Rin, the cave is just worried about you, nothing more, please, Rin,” he said.

“Kalo he does not exist, the cave will never come out of the room, if he does not have a cave will not go home until the kelar work, if he does not force the cave out, if he does not force the cave out, you will never find a cave alive!”

Joseph was stunned by my words, I was not making it up, that was how it happened.

“Working cave in the room, until the cave forgets itself, until the cave forgets to rest, until the cave does not realize if the cave is starving, and if you know, the cave even to forget how to make a breath. Lu temen cave from lama, you know the life of the cave, the state of the cave, you should understand, but what cave dapet?”

Joseph looked guilty, our clothes were wet, Joseph slowly took off his hands. I didn't waste a chance, I ran away leaving him, it was time he thought, he also had to realize, I won't forever obey his wishes.

I immediately stopped the taxi, after the taxi stopped right in front of me, I immediately entered, without looking back.

“Rin ... Rinda?” joseph called me.

I don't bully him, I don't want to falter, I've survived this far, I don't want to be seen as weak anymore. “Jalan aja, sir,” my door to the taxi driver, the taxi went straight.

“Rinda ..!”

I still hear Joseph screaming, he must have followed me from behind. I saw that he was on a motorbike, he would have been quick to follow me, sure enough, Joseph was by the side of the taxi, offsetting the speed of the taxi I was riding.

“Rinda …! Rin, open it up first...!” he shouted, again I did not look.

In the cab, my feelings were broken, my mind was in a state of turmoil, I didn't even have time to worry about Joseph being rained out there. I'm as strong as I can not drop my tears in the cab, I don't want anyone to see me cry.

I do not want to look weak, let the rain represent my tears, let the rain that soaks my pain, and I also ask that the rain bring my every doubt in the future.

***

“Yes, God, why are you, son?” ask Mama, panic.

I saw the look on Mama's face was very surprised, seeing me coming home from the office with a chaotic appearance. Pale face, wet clothes, I make sure anyone who sees me now will feel pity, that's what happens when in a taxi.

In the taxi, several times the taxi driver looked at me through the rearview mirror attached to the ceiling of the car nearby. Although I tried to be indifferent with the surroundings, in fact I could catch the gaze of the taxi driver who kept watching me. Plus Joseph who keeps trailing from behind.

“I'm tired, Ma. I went to the room first, Ma,”.

I went straight into the room, leaving Mama who was still standing in panic also worried. I heard Joseph come into the house, and had a little chat with Mama. I, who was in the room, immediately threw myself behind the closed door.

“Kak, Mama in, yes?” Mom knocked on my room door. I didn't answer Mama's request, nor did I move from behind the door. I just want to be alone, Mama seems to understand because Mama is not knocking on my door anymore.

After Mama no longer heard her voice, I walked over to the bed. I stared at the mirror in front of me, looking at my appearance that was far from good. I couldn't stand it anymore, I cried, for the first time, I cried because of Joseph, not because I was angry, but because I didn't expect anything to happen.

I let out my annoyance through these tears, I kept crying hoping that all the tired could be cured. I keep crying, I've been holding back these tears all day to fall, now that the opportunity is there, I can drop as I please, without fear, without the judgment of others.

I who have been clinging to stay strong to face everything alone, in fact never able to rise, never able to get out of the zone that continues to drag me to continue to be perfect.

I could be broken, I could cry, I needed someone.