Look at me, my man!
I want to heal

"Bi," called Selo as Bianca turned her gaze the other way.

"I'm not ready yet" said Bianca. His body trembled as Selo was about to touch him. He was like a dejavu, where at that time Selo only touched him for a moment, then turned his back on him. Then after the next day, Selo left without news.

Selo rolled his body to the side. He understood what Bianca felt, and then Selo changed his position to face his wife.

"Yes, let's go to bed" asked Selo.

In the end, Selo invites Bianca to sleep. He must be super patient with his wife.

Bianca nodded.

"I'm sorry, Selo" said Bianca.

"No problem" Selo replied, and in the end Bianca closed her eyes.

Saar heard the sound of Bianca's subtle breathing sign Bianca was asleep, Selo rose from his lying down then the man sat himself on the bed with his legs dangling down.He was not angry because Bianca refused him, it was just that he felt what Bianca was feeling at the time. Apparently, everything turned to him.

As Selo sat down, Bianca opened her eyes. He looked at Selo's back who was behind him.

'Selo somehow it's so hard to forget everything. I'm really scared, Selo. I'm frightened.' Bianca sat up while looking at Selo's back, and before long she was glued when she saw Selo's shoulders shaking, even the man was seen wiping away her tears.

When Selo was about to get up, the slim Bianca closed her eyes.

***

One month later.

It's been a month since Selo and Bianca got married. During this one month anyway, nothing much happened between them. Until now, Bianca has not wanted to be touched by Selo. Selo never asked for his rights.

Bianca's attitude is not to be asked. The woman is more silent when being with Selo, while Selo still continues to try to win the heart of Bianca, even though Bianca does not respond at all Selo did.

Bianca seems to be building a real barrier with her. As of this moment, Bianca kept silent without even turning her head towards Selo who was driving. There was no enthusiastic look inside the woman when Selo invited her to dinner outside.

For Selo this is indeed a normal sight. He is usually ignored. Even though Bianca seems to be acting normal to him, she still feels the difference.

"Bi," call Selo.

Bianca who was daydreaming, turned her head.

"After dinner, how do we take a walk in the park?" invite Selo who is still trying to get close to Bianca.

"Just give it up" he answered.

Though Selo already knew Bianca would reply to this, but somehow he hoped Bianca would reject him and take him elsewhere.

After a long journey, finally the car driven by Selo arrived at the restaurant. As Selo was about to open the door for Bianca, Bianca had already gone down first making Selo sigh. He immediately followed his wife.

When entering the restaurant, Selo immediately chose a table. Just as she was about to pull out a chair for Bianca, Bianca sat down on the other chair until again Selo was only able to sigh, but she only disguised herself with a smile.

"What do you want to order, Bi?" selo asked as she was about to call the waiter.

"Take it with your order" said Bianca without enthusiasm until Selo nodded. After which, Selo immediately raised his hand, then called out to the maid.

No one spoke, both were silent until Selo turned to Bianca. He looked at Bianca fixedly. Bianca looks like a depressed person.

"Bi," call Selo.

Bianca raised her head.

"You want to work again?" ask Selo. Bianca sighed and then exhaled.

"If you will, I want to go back to being a doctor" Bianca said.

Selo nodded his head. "I'll allow, just don't over-embrace your strength," Selo said again until Bianca nodded, and after that the two were both silent.

Finally, their orders arrived. Bianca eats quietly, and so does Selo. Selo would occasionally steal a glance at his wife. It's like dejavu. In the past, when they were not married, Bianca had invited him to dinner but he was always ogah-ogahan, but because forced by his father he also met Bianca. Then, Bianca's current reaction is the reaction when she was forced to eat with Bianca.

The dinner is over. Selo and Bianca leave the restaurant.

***

Now here they are, in front of the park. Lots of people pass by to just chat, or enjoy the scenery.

"Let's go in" said Selo.

Bianca nodded. Just now Selo was about to hold Bianca's hand, but Bianca pretended to hug her own body because her hand did not want to be grasped by her husband, again making Selo sigh.

Both of them sat on a chair, then Selo immediately pulled Bianca's head to lean on her shoulder. Several times Bianca straightened her head, but of course Selo quickly put the head of Bianca on her shoulder, until now the two men were both silent. No one spoke, Selo was busy with his own thoughts, and so was Bianca.

***

Two years later.

Second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, week by week, month by month. Not felt, this is two years passed, and it has been two years also the age of marriage Selo and Bianca. Not much has happened in their home life. It has been two years Selo struggled, and it has been two years Bianca has also not been able to open her heart.

For the past two years, Bianca has remained the same. There was no change in her, nor did Selo. He is still trying to restore Bianca's trust. But it seems, it's so hard. Of course Selo did not give up, although sometimes he wanted to talk to Bianca, asking Bianca to change. But he knows it's not easy in Bianca's position and all Selo can do is be patient, be patient and be patient.

"Selo," call Bianca when they're having breakfast.

"Yes Bi?" the answer.

"Can I meet my friend?" ask Bianca. Although their relationship is still stiff, but if there is anything Bianca always ask Selo. She never left without her husband's permission.

"Go away. Do you want me to be with you?" ask Selo again until Bianca shakes her head.

"No, I'll go alone" replied Bianca. He wants to see Celine, who is none other than his friend, who is also the psychiatrist who used to handle him. Honestly, Bianca was tired of this kind of feeling. Sometimes he wants to make peace with the past, but when he wants to start changing, he always remembers his old memories until it feels like he has to see Celine.

"Oh okay. Let me know if you want to be picked up" Selo said until Bianca nodded.

The meal is over. Bianca immediately extended her hand to Selo to kiss her husband's hand. However, just now Selo was about to bend over to kiss the forehead, as Bianca usually dodged back.

It's always like this, even after two years have passed they have only had one intercourse. That's what Selo insisted, and tomorrow Bianca won't talk to him. Luckily, Selo managed to persuade his wife, and until now they have not done husband and wife again.