Love Me More!
Day by day

After the meeting, without me realizing I had finished a bottle of sake, I did not think I would immediately kiss it, at first I would not do that and would approach it naturally, but when I saw him face to face, I really missed him very much and everything just happened anyway Akane also did not reject me or avoid, at that time I thought he still had the same feeling as me.

I don't want to keep getting stuck with the past, but getting out of the loop is not easy, When Taishisan told me to replace him I was not willing but when I saw Akane's artist list I immediately took it right then and there, the opportunity I was waiting for finally arrived.

After reading Akane's diary and she wanted to focus on pursuing her career, that's where I understood that I wasn't her goal anymore, therefore I also began to hone my career behind the scenes so that one day there could be a chance to meet him again with a position worthy of him, he said, I'm not pursuing being an actor because that's exactly what Nisaan wants,

At the end of the day my head was empty, I honestly chose not to think about anything, I lost my vision, I lost Akane, and I was still trying to deal with my guilt.

When the director was confused by my behavior that rejected him earlier, he could immediately guess what was on my mind.

"Don't you say you don't want to?" He shouted while taking back the documents in my hand.

I just smiled like I couldn't help but hold back my feelings." I changed my mind.."

"Because of this girl?" taishisan asked, pointing to Akane's name, he was immediately on target.

I just take my eyes off."No.." - No..." My rebut.

Taishisan smiled disdainfully." Understandably because Akanesan is now contested by many parties, besides being young she is a beautiful and talented actress,"

"He's still the same.." Mumamku.

"Do you know him?" Taishisan asked me again.

I don't know what to answer, I can tell you everything, but this time I don't want to tell a story.

"Want a whiskey?" Taishisan.

When I was down at that time, I accidentally met Taishisan, he was my sense that helped until I finally like now, I know I have talent in this field but I can't what, what, I know, so I feel very indebted to him.

One sip, two sips, this drink feels light in the mouth but heavy in the throat, I used to tell him about my problem but not to mention the name of the girl. Maybe the director noticed my changed expression.

"You've been waiting for this opportunity, haven't you?" Taishi deliberately brought up what I had said, it seemed like he was trying to figure out how I felt, but instead of answering the question I would rather drink whiskey.

"He must have been surprised by your change.."Taishi again.

"I haven't changed." I answered casually.

Have I changed? I don't feel changed at all, And until now I'm still the same, inside me the wound is still gaping, I'm trained to live day by day.

Every day I take tranquilizers just so I can sleep well, maybe it's been a part of my life, since losing Akane I can't let go of Niisan anymore, Remembering all the things about niisan's death. Back when I was tired I could lean on Niisan, but now I can only hope in this medicine, this medicine,

I also moved to Tokyo a month after Akane left, of course my family didn't allow it but I insisted on calming down. Because here I can only remember bitter memories, but it turns out that Tokyo is the same. And this is the fifth year I survived, I didn't think I could last this long, I started to rarely take this drug after seeing Akane on a glass screen, I think I've had another glimmer of hope for the last two years,

I just kept thinking about her, wanting to see her soon, I felt like I could smile again.

And yesterday at the filming location I couldn't help but feel happy, those five years were instantly gone replaced with an overabundance that spread every inch of my body, I was so happy.

I wanted so much to laugh seeing her surprised expression, her attitude unchanged, her pouting face, her pity, her beauty, her anger, everything was still the same for me. Her face flushed red after we kissed, I really liked her. How adorable.

But when he brought back my regrets, my heart was like a dagger, I felt taken back to the past, and the frustrations re-emerged.

My stomach hurts, maybe because I spend a lot of liquor, when my frustration appears I prefer to continue sleeping until waking up I feel back to this complicated real world, he said, Right now I just want to see him again even though he hasn't answered the terms of what I have to do for him to forgive me.