
POV Dance
Fear....
In my life, I feel fear is when dealing with Vira. My stepfather only managed to fight me, if Vira....
I'm not a wonder woman. I'm just an orphan living alone in this world. Abi Agas is all I have right now.
Now even the only one of mine will be taken. I can what?
Weak!
A coward!
Whatever I want to say!
I've fought Vira and what's the result?
The mother who was supposed to move up the ranks even got a warning letter. All because I fought Vira.
Now that I have Abi Agas, then if Vira ruined Abi's life how would it be?
Abi is in business until all Papa's land certificates are sold and Papa lives outside the city of masa because I'm all ruined?
Damn it I'm a person!
Even Aunt Irna who said my Tante never came. Does he realize that a son of a bitch like me doesn't deserve to be his nephew?
I used to be abandoned by people around me. I'm used to being dumped. Who the hell am I?
Now in Vira's womb was Abi Agas' son. I can what? Want to fight again like before and lose it all?
Vira could have done recklessly, if he had harmed the child in my womb how?
At least I still have this kid. I will go and keep this child from evil demons like Vira!
I decided to leave Abi's house. Let Abi finish his business with Vira.
I'm evil? Indeed indeed!
Abi's been having sex with Vira, doesn't that hurt me? Why should Vira? Of the many women out there, why should you go with Vira? Oh Allah... Can't I be happy?
I put my clothes in the suitcase but Abi put them back in the closet, so it continued until I finally got upset and shouted at Abi. Things I've never done before.
I'm desperate. I fear. I don't want Abi to suffer the same fate as Mother.
"I don't care! I'll stay at the cafe from now on!" I whine like a child. "I want to go huaaaaa...."
"God! Cup cups... Don't cry! Calm yourself down first!" Abi continued to praise me patiently. Makes me even more afraid that Vira will hurt him later. Don't let Abi get hurt later... Don't please....
"I want to stay at the cafe... I don't want to live here!" whinek. Abi calmed down but I was getting more and more agitated.
Abi then cupped my two faces together with his big but always protective hands, and I could now see into his eyes.
"I'm sorry for all my bad past. I'm sorry! I ask you to trust me, please trust me this time. I didn't impregnate Vira. I've always believed that I've been playing it safe. Believe me yes... Please. "Abi Agas' eyes are glazed.
I could see the honesty and sincerity of her every look. It makes me even more afraid.
Abi let go of my body and rubbed his face violently. His face looked desperate.
"It's night. You're not tired? You're pregnant!" he said softly and very patiently.
I shook my head. "I want to stay in the cafe. I beg you. "I said with tears in my eyes.
Abi breathed heavily. I know he's been tired all day working at the cafe. The happy smile of having managed to sell many new menus was gone already, changing with a smile full of pressure.
"Well if that's what you want. I'll stay there too." Abi relented but still wanted to take care of me. Oh Allah... A guy this good will get shit because of me too?
I shook my head. "No need. I'm gonna calm down there."
"But you believe that I didn't impregnate Vira?" abi Agas asked expectantly.
"I want to believe that Abi has never been in contact with Vira, but in fact Abi has done that relationship, right? I give it all up to God. Let God open up all the mysteries in this world. Let God unite and protect our home from all trials."
Abi breathed in again. Gathering the remnants of his patience that seemed to run out because of the hard nature of my head. Sorry Bi, my heart hurts too much and I'm too afraid to face this problem in our household. I need time to calm down. I need some time to figure out a strategy and think about the future of our household.
I need some calm. What I'm keeping right now is not just me. The child in my womb also needs a calm atmosphere and I can't think much.
"alright. I'll take you to the cafe. I'll sort out everything that's going on and I'll get you home!" abi's promise to me.
I nodded weakly. I put my clothes back in my suitcase. This time Abi just kept quiet no longer return the clothes I put into the closet.
"Should it be this much? A day at the cafe?" pinta Abi with a clear voice.
"What in a day all the problems Abi can solve? If so, then I'll be home in a day!" my reply.
Abi scratched his head which was not itchy. His hair looked tangled, matching his tired face after working all day at the cafe.
"If Abi is tired, I'll take a taxi! No need to drive me!" I said I finally could not bear to see my husband look exhausted like that.
"No! I'll take you! I'll take a shower to get fresher!" Abi then took a towel and went to the bathroom.
I got her a change of clothes, and a jacket to keep Abi from getting cold in the night air. Sorry Bi, I can't get a change of clothes for Abi anymore.
I wipe away the tears I shed without my command. The longer the harder. Oh Allah.... It hurts so bad...
I have prepared my heart. All this time I did not want to be too hopeful and complacent about the happiness of my household. It's nothing, I'm too afraid to be disappointed. I was too afraid to feel pain after enjoying the millions of happiness and the abundance of affection Abi gave me.
If it is true that Vira is pregnant with Abi's child, maybe Vira will eventually win Abi. Not me or Tara.
I heard the sound of the bathroom door opening. I returned to cleaning up my things. I put the cosmetics and perfumes I used to wear, too.
Abi is done getting dressed. He asked me to wait in front because he would lock the door first. I follow every word. I waited near his car.
It's getting night. Usually, we both fell asleep while hugging. Now, I even have to leave all the comforts that have been pseudo.
After driving up to the cafe, I went straight in and locked the door. The atmosphere of the cafe was so quiet, quiet and I was the only one in it. There was no fear that I felt because I was used to being educated as a brave child by Mother.
"You must be strong, baby! You must accompany Mommy to face all the problems that are plaguing us. We pray that Abi can solve all his problems well. What is slanderous will be revealed. But if all of that is true, hopefully we are both strong to face this ordeal. Mommy believes we can!" I stroked my stomach and believed the child in my womb would be strong even though it would lose its Abinya later.
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