Short Stories of Islamic Love
Is This a Gift for My Sincerity?

Tonight the Moon feels more beautiful. It began to emit its rays so that even the clouds did not dare to cover its magnificent luster. The sound of night animals also dancing adds to the complete atmosphere of a quiet night in the middle of the vast city of Malang.

It all started since I sat on the bench of SMAN 1 Malang. At that time I was 17 years old. Like my kids in general. I have a lover. He is a man whom I admire because of his personality which until now made me love him. It's not just a girlfriend. But at once my brother for me. We are 4 years older than me. He is currently pursuing his studies at the University of Malang.

After I graduated at school. With various considerations I decided to study in Jakarta. This is a very tough test for me. Not just going to part with my family. I also have to be ready to separate from my lover Mas Andi.

“Mas, I have decided to continue my studies in Jakarta. I'm sorry if I had to break up with you, because I don't want you to wait too long until you finally expect a no-no to me.”

“Hmm.. Well, if that's your decision. May you reach your goals and return to the poor successfully. But. Sarah I love you so much. And actually I..”

“What is mas?”

“Hmm.. Nah! It's okay”

Of course it was a heavy blow to me I couldn't bear to part from the person I love so much. But I also have to continue my studies.

The Moon slowly began to change years. I haven't been in Jakarta for 4 years. Soon I graduate and finish S1. For 4 years also my feelings are still the same as before I still expect him to come back with me. Ahhh, that must be just a dream.. (My mummy in the daydream). I don't know when I'll keep doing this. And until when do I keep closing the door of my heart to other men. Though there have been many men who want to propose to me even my parents are trying to match me with a man of their choice. But I never want to be with a man I don't love. I don't know when I'll get married. I want to complete my worship by practicing the sunnah of the Prophet is to marry and make my parents happy. But then again I still do not want until I started to continue my S2 in Jakarta with a scholarship that I got from my campus first.

When in the third of the night I woke up from my mind and started to do my tahajud prayer

“Yes allah.. I don't know what happened to my heart that I couldn't turn away from any man. Muqolibal qulub.. Turn my heart back to meet my love. Love that leads me to faith. And awakened me in error. Yes Robbana I beg you.. I want to get married and have a full and happy family. Robbana atina fiddun ya hasanah wafil’akhnoti hasana waqina adzabannar.. Amin”

Beautiful morning and now I am getting ready to run my activities. But when I was about to go to campus suddenly there was the sound of people knocking on my boarding door.

“Tok.. tok!! Assalamu’alaikum mba.”

Apparently he's my brother Farhan. He must have wanted to see me. I decided to go to college late. “Wa’alaikumsalam you know which mom alone?”

“Mother is on business so I'm the one who replaced mom to visit you”

“Good give this to mom and mba sorry mba can not go home because many tasks from campus”

“When do you get busy here and not go home to malang? At least look and meet mom even if only a few days mother really miss you mba. And I came here to convey my trust from my mother. Mother asks if there is a man who is ready to ask you?”

“Hmm.. no” yet

“You till when are you busy with yourself mba? You are 24 years old now and ready to get married. Mother and father in Malang are getting older. They're just expecting your granddaughter's only daughter. Maybe for you education is number one but in the age village like you already said old woman. When do you want to be selfish with yourself? Your heart needs a companion and you need to start opening your heart to men. There have been many men who want to propose to you but all you refuse just because your education is not over. Do you think that marriage can hinder your education?!”

I didn't expect Farhan to tell me that. My heart was slapped because of that word. And I could only cry and say nothing. I could only sit back and think of Farhan's words. While Farhan immediately left with my gift without saying goodbye. It's true what Farhan said I was so selfish to have locked my heart to another man.

I've heard the adzan dzuhur. I immediately prepared to take water and pray. My sister's words kept ringing in my mind. I wonder what my life will be like if I continue like this. Of course my parents in the village will definitely feel embarrassed because they have the oldest child to be an old woman. I don't want that to happen. And I have to get married this year.

From that moment on I tried to open the door of my heart to the man who wanted to approach me. At the time of the lesson. The rector at my college came with a new lecturer he wanted to introduce.

At that moment my heart started to dag dig dug and all my body was shaking. So surprised I saw the new lecturer turned out he was Mas Andi my former lover. I didn't expect him to be here and become my new teacher. The world is narrow. And God brought him back into my life.

After the lesson is over. When she wanted to leave the classroom, she called me.

“Sarah can you not sit here for a while? I want to talk to you.. ”

“Hmm.. What's wrong sir?”

“Do not call me father because the lesson is over now I am not your lecturer.”

“What's up mas?”

“Alhamdulillah fine mas”

And since then we kept talking until finally Andi wanted to propose to me after knowing my unmarried status. I'm so happy. Like a kid who just got candy to joy. When I arrived at the boarding house I immediately wanted to call Farhan impatiently want to convey this happy news to my family that I would be immediately applied.

When I wanted to call all of a sudden my phone was ringing and it was a message from Farhan.

“Assalamualaikum mba mom is sick. It's been 3 days that the fever hasn't come down and now I'm in the hospital. Can't you go home to Malang because I miss you so much.”.

What is this? Why when I want to deliver happy news but I get sad news instead. I hope mom is okay.. (My mummy in heart)

The next morning I went straight to Malang. When we got to the hospital. I hugged my mother while crying. “Mother forgive Sarah if I can just come and see mom now.”

“It's okay son. Now I feel better after you come. I'd love to see you get married and have kids. I've been waiting for that for a long time. And thank God the mother of suah received a proposal from the son of Mr. Rozaq who lives in the next village. You want to marry her?”

By jove.. I was silent to hear my mother's words to me. My body feels stiff. And my chest feels tight to hear it.

“Would mother if in fact I also have happy news for you I will soon be proposed and of course will make mother happy to hear it”. of course it's a word I'm saying in my heart that I can't tell my mother right now. I can only surrender and surrender everything to Allah.

With a sincere heart I set my heart “if he is my soul mate and if mother and father have approved him I am sincere and willing to marry him.” I said with teary eyes holding back sobs.

Arriving at my HP home rang there was a phone from Andi mas

“Assalamu’alaikum sarah sorry if I bother you I want to tell you this news”

What's the matter? Why is my heart beating and my feelings are not good.

“Wa’alaikumsalam what is mas?”

“Before I apologize. A.. Aaku's.. Been with another woman. And soon the show will start. I really didn't mean to hurt your heart. I also did not know that both my parents had betrothed me to that woman. I'm sorry Sar..”

It turned out to be my hunch. Mas Andi has been betrothed to the woman of choice of both parents. For the second time I felt heartbroken at his loss. But this time I'm really going to lose it. Heart broken! Very devastated. But it's fine. In this way I do not need to explain to him that I have also been betrothed to another man.

“It's okay mas.. God may have other plans for us. And maybe we're both not in a match. May you be happy with that woman.. My prayers are always with you.. Assalamu’alaikum”

“Wa aleikum salam”

I can't hold back these tears. Tests in my love are endless. I feel like I can't carry all this burden. That day came, yes.. My wedding was so grand. Until the time comes kabul ijab event I still do not want to see my future husband. I waited in the room with uneasy feelings and eyes that were constantly shedding tears.

“His qobuljab has been completed with just one breath. You are officially Sar..” wife said Farah a friend in my village.

When I heard the news. My tears are flowing too. Today I have released my love. I have owned others. And so did Mas andi maybe now he has been happy with his wife. And I had to stop thinking about it and start trying to love my husband no matter what.

Then mom came to pick me up and took me to see my husband.

With my face down I was ready to see my husband. And after I looked it up

“Subhanallah..”.

He is my Mas Andu. The man I love so much. We can only look at each other and smile. I kissed his hand and he whispered in my ear “alhamdulillah.. My Sarah has been mine”

Subhanallah this is a gift for me because to my sincerity, God. The gift of my happiness is that I obey my mother's words and pledge my love for this match. O muqolibal qulub thou hast turned this heart in to sincerity and brought this heart to Love and faith