Short Stories of Islamic Love
He's not my Love

When someone is about to do a good is never spared from various obstacles and obstacles. Sometimes, the obstruction can come from the whisperings of the devil or from the passions of man himself.

That's how it's happened in my life. A gray story that once ensnared my body into the valley of sin. It started with my meeting with a man named Alan.

“Assalamu’alaikum, children.”

“Waalaikum greetings Bu Ida.”

“Today we have a new student coming from Jakarta. He will be taking his new class here. Come on please come in, son!” call Ms. Ida to someone behind the door outside the classroom. A sweet smile was on his face. He was right in front of the class and became the center of attention of many students who he did not know anyone. He also began to introduce himself. “Good morning, all.. My name is Alan Pratama. Commonly called Alan. I am from Jakarta. I moved because I followed my father who was running a business in Jepara. Hopefully I can be accepted into this High School. Thank you.” After introducing himself, Ms. Ida also showed an empty bench in the back row for Alan to occupy.



Alan walked towards the bench. All the views point to him. We looked at each other as he walked to his bench. He gave his sweetest smile. I did not return his smile, but gave him the most ugly face. It's nothing, just afraid of zina eyes.

TOOT TET!! TOOT TET!!

The first break took place.

All the children in this class walked to Alan's bench and invited him to meet. I don't know, I'm not interested in getting her acquainted. He introduced himself in front of the class this morning. After all, one day we will get to know each other as time goes on. Yeah, just wait for time.

“Ra. I laper niih..” take Nihla suddenly. “Ngak ah.. I'm fasting again.” I replied. “Ya already... I picked up another one just yes.” “Iya there go! I want to read the book.” my candlestick to him. “Iya yes ketus very.” grunggutu to me. I just smiled at him. Not how long he went to the canteen with other girl friends.

It was a habit for me to take a break in class. Rarely, read his book. Today is Monday, I want to fast. And reward too..

Very quiet this class. Ah, it's common. 15 Minutes is the time that every student in this class is waiting for. Whether it's to fill the stomach in the cafeteria, chat with friends, read a book, sit in the park, or fill this 15-minute time to date a special friend. Ah, stale denger says courtship. Yes, this school is not allowed for every student to have a girlfriend, even dating at school. They can be suspended or even expelled from school. It's really serem.

Not yet after I thought about school and all the knickknacks of the story, suddenly there was someone thumping in the back. “Ehem..”. I immediately looked at the origin of the voice. It turns out that kid again. The boy I just found out this morning. Why is he here? I think he's been out of this class since the first break bell rang.

“Can not be contacted?” tanyakanya. God, why do I keep looking at him anyway. And again, I threw my face in front of him. Taku zina eyes.

I walked out too. “Hey, why are you out? You don't want to have a friend like me?” I dare not look at him. I just kept quiet and continued my journey out. It'sit's nothing. It's not that I don't like it and hate it, but because she and I are in class. And there is no one among us. For that, I just went out to keep my distance from him. Again and again. I pecan him again. Ah. I hope he can understand.

I sat in the front garden chair of my class. I continued reading the book. Then, there were the footsteps of the shoes heading towards me. He sits near me. Too close. It's about a few inches away from me. I immediately stood up after knowing that the one sitting was Alan. I'm starting to get upset with him. “Eh! You did sit very tight with me. I beg you not to let me. We are...” “Not muhrim.” he cut my nagging. “Iya sorry if I have made you feel disturbed since then. I just want an acquaintance. Because, among other friends you are the most passive when all acquaintances with me.” “Okey. I'm Rara. Greetings know.” with ketus I talk to him.

TOOT TET!! TOOT TET!!

The first break is over.

I immediately left Alan who was still sitting on the park bench without a word thrown at him.

One by one, all students enter their classes. The next lesson begins. Suddenly, Nihla, my comrade elbowed my arm slowly. “What have you done in class?” ask him like a cop who's been busting traffic offenders. “Ngak ngapain. Just read a book. Why is it so much. If you want to ask about things that are not important, mending do not need to dech, La.” I replied to him while noting the subject matter given by Mr. Anto. “Eh this is important, Ra. Anyway if the second break has arrived, I will interrogate you.” said Nihla while opening a notebook and starting to take notes. I just kept quiet and focused on taking notes without caring about Nihla's words. I can also guess what he wants to ask me.

When the second break begins…

“Okey Ra's. I'd like to ask. What are you doing in class? No macem-macem, right?” “Huussh's. Ngawur. What do you think I am doing again? I just read a book. Don't think of the strange dech..!” I answered when Nihla asked me a question that I thought was wrong. I haven't even tidied up the book on the table, eeh he asked me like that.

“Truly loh yaa.. I know that in this class only you and Alan who set stand by in the first class break time earlier.

“Iya it's true. Only ak..”

“Tuh right..”.

“Iih was horrified first why the hell. Main cuttle aja.”

“Iya yes sorry. Okey makanarin.” he said while grinning the horse.

“I didn't know he was in class. Until suddenly he cleared his throat indistinctly, only to know I was in class. But, you don't have to worry, after I found out he was in class, I just stayed away by going out to the park.”

“But why are you and Alan alone in the park?”

The question that came back made me have to give Nihla as much detail as possible. Oh my God, why do I have such a good friend about my life. Why is my friend like a cop who interrogates people. Nihla emang really super duper protective same friend girl friend who again decket same guy. But, I admit he is the best friend I have. Salut dech I'm the same as you Nihla.

“Jawab dong, Ra!!” insistence back. “Oh that, I don't know either. He arrived and I continued to contact. Just it's. There is no more.” “OK. I got your testimony this time. But watch out, don't let you get smitten with him. You keep going, then you don't want to be with me anymore. Trus...” I immediately stared intently into Nihla's eyes until he no longer dared to say a word. “Iya sorry, Ra. I am most afraid to see your sharp eyes. Like a lion ready to kill its prey. He.he..” he said while chuckling coldly. “Emang really. If you say ngawur continue, I will be the real victim later.” candaku “Iiih.. serem... he. he..” he laughed again and I became laughing too because of it.

Home school.

I walked to the parking lot to get my motorcycle. The parking lot is in the back past the school cafeteria. As I walked through the canteen, someone somehow pulled my hand suddenly from behind. I was so surprised. Then I turned around and I found someone really annoying. I threw her hand out to let go of mine. I was really angry with him. “What kind of man are you? Male or female? Already know if we are not muhrim, but you even hold my hand like that. Are you a woman with a male whisper? So you feel halal when near women.”

Alan was silent. The view is not necessarily directional. He would look at me but he hesitated. So, he just cuddly not clear while stringing words that are suitable for him to convey to me. Until a few seconds of waiting, he only found a suitable sentence to be delivered.

“I'm sorry. I won't repeat it again.” “OK. What do you want trus?” my question starts to soften. “I just want to go home. I know if we are neighbors” “What? Unwilling. We are not muhrim and we should not be together.” Alan was silent again. Trying to think of something that could help him. Somehow, I caught a male figure with a very slashy face. Whether Alan deliberately squeezed, or his own face that implied how blind Alan was looking for the cane to go home, I did not know. Ah I'm so confused. What am I supposed to do now?

I gave Alan the keys to my bike and I left. “I'd rather walk than have to bonce with you.” I said as I passed leaving him

Tin tiii…

The sound of horns startling me.

“Come aboard!” ask someone who drives it. Ah Alan apparently. “Neventless. I can walk by myself. I went home.” my door. “Do not strong support dech. Come on already. I've been hard-earned to find your bike in the parking lot. Your time does not want to appreciate my efforts.” I keep walking slowly. Alan followed behind, pleading for me to ride a motorcycle. “Ra.. if use this how?” Alan showed me a thin piece of wood that was quite wide. “Make what?” manya curious. “Create a border tool between the two of us. That way you don't have to worry we'll touch.”

I took a breath, trying to think positively. Maybe Alan is right. With that wood, I don't have to worry about coming into contact with it. “OK dech. I wanna. But watch out. Don't be like that!” I asked Alan while placing the wood in his position and quickly riding the motorbike with a feeling of unworthiness.

On the way, we didn't talk much. I started to get him to talk. “Why don't you bring a motor? Or have someone pick you up when you get home.” “At home no motor. There's just a car my dad used to work. If you ask for a pick up. impossible. My busy dad doesn't save time. Where inget he with his own son if already faced work. Go in the morning, go home at night. There was never any quality time for his son.” I'm so sorry for Alan.

“Kalo mama how is Al?” ask her.

“Oh if Mother I died 2 years ago.”

“Yes geez. Sorry Al's. I don't know.”

“It’s okay. It's not anything else. This is until Ra.” I didn't think I was coming home. Just ngbrol for a while, it turned out to be home.

“Ra. Thanks for making the cane.” said Alan with his sumring. “Iya the same.” I replied with a smile.

Alan went back to his house. Alan's house is right in front of my house. My eyes follow every second of his definite footsteps. He crossed the street and arrived in front of his large house. Before the fence was opened, he took the time to smile and wave his hand at a woman across the street. Yes, that woman is me. I replied with a light smile. Then, he opened the fence and went into it.

Somehow, I started to sympathize with him. Sympathy for a life not as good as mine. Sympathy for the tenderness of the words he always creates while talking to someone. I also want to get to know him more closely.

“Aduh. I thought about Alan anyway. Ah meningan I immediately go into the house.” I rushed into the house and put my bike in it.

“Assalamu aleikum.”.

“Waalaikum greetings.”

“Mama see you abis chat with the guy in front earlier yes, Ra.” said Mama as I entered my room door. “Oh. He's my new friend, Ma. Alan. He's our new neighbor.” “Iya. Mama knows. Why you walk with him. You can't like that. If Papa and Brother Adam know, can be angry they later.” “Don't tell them, Ma. I will not repeat again. After all, Rara was only intending to help Alan. He could not go home because he did not have a motorbike and his father could not pick him up because he was still working. Sorry Rara for making Mama kesel.” my door to I love Mama. “Iya Mama sorry you. But, don't be so again yes.” “Iya Ma. I promise.” “Ya Rara ate first then. Mama has already cooked fried rice for Rara.” said Mama while walking out of my room. “Iya Ma.”

Day after day, Alan and I became more and more familiar. We talked together every first break when classmates went to the cafeteria. Alan also often asked me to come home together. I agreed to his request on the basis of pity. I got scared when I went home with Alan. Fear of scolding Mama, Papa, and Brother Adam. I am afraid of them and I am no longer afraid of God. Yeah, that's what I'm doing right now.

Because of my concern that when it was discovered Papa, Mama and Sis Adam, finally me and Alan often stopped on the road and separated at that place. Alan got off my motorcycle and walked towards his house. As for me, riding my motorcycle and hurrying home.

Oh my God.. What have I done now? I am getting further away from you, God. I realized all these mistakes, but I underestimated the risk.

“Ra. We will walk!” bring Alan to me after school. I thought long. I'm worried. I've been consumed by the seduction of shetan. Alan has made me the person who always agrees with his every request. Because, all the stories of his life that he often told me always made me have to give him a high level of attention and care. I can't bear to see Alan wasn't noticed by his father. I felt sorry for him, and so I always agreed with whatever he said.

We no longer use limiting devices when riding a motorcycle together. We have freely touched our hands without any sense of sin. Oh, what will Nihla and my family do when I see my behavior become like this. I really can't imagine it anymore. I also do not remember Allah with all his provisions. The veil I wear means nothing in the eyes of God. If there was someone who could wake me up from this wrong thing.

Alan and I went to a city park. He invited me to sit on a bench in a white-painted garden. He chattered ria while holding my hand tightly. I was really upset when he did. But, I don't have enough power to let go of his grasp. Because I know, he really needs a hand grip and a place to tell stories that he never got before from anyone, even from his classmates.

“Is this true?” my question arrived.

“What do you mean Ra?” Alan turned around to ask me.

“We hold hands, walk both ways. I think we've broken the rules of religion”

“You don't have to worry about that. God can tolerate what we are doing right now. I need you so much Ra. And Allah surely knows it.” I fell silent. Trying to digest Alan's words. I can't even think now. I can no longer tell what is right and what is wrong.

“RARA...!!!”

Call someone hard. The man pulled my hand tight and told me to stand until Alan's hand slipped out of my hand. Yes, that person is Nihla, my best friend.

Nihla slapped me once. Trying to wake me up for all my wrong behavior. “I didn't think you could behave like Ra. You know religion. You should know which one is really wrong. Why are you doing this anyway Ra?” Nihla hugged me while crying. He was very disappointed with me. I couldn't help but cry. I apologized to Nihla and promised never to do this again.

Alan stood up and approached us. Nihla pulls my hand and tries to keep me away from Alan. “Do not approach Rara. You taught Rara something bad. As soon as you go and don't go near Rara again.” Alan's gone. He said an apology in a word before going away and finally disappearing from view.

I told my Dad, Mom, and Brother Adam all my wrongdoings. At first, they were angry. However, the next minute they praised my honesty and hugged me tightly. They told me not to do it again. And as his punishment, I was taken to the express boarding school to better understand the religion of Islam. Punishment is very useful and educational.

The events of 10 years ago have long since been forgotten. But it came back when I saw him again. Alan. He was in my house. Something I never expected at all. I don't know. Do I have to refuse or accept his existence back before me. What is clear, now Alan has become a big man, a preacher, hafiz qur’an and away from himself during High School.

Alan came with his father. In front of my family, he admitted he wanted to marry me. “My arrival with this Dad was to make amends 10 years ago. Now I intend to take Rara to Allah's paradise and no longer do mischief. When the family and also Rara received this proposal, I really really became a lucky man to get a beautiful wife candidate.” explained Alan with a tone of a preacher.

Mom and Dad looked at each other. They seemed to think for a moment. Papa says, “Nak Alan. We as parents, can not necessarily determine what attitude is good to take. Let our daughter, Rara decide for herself.” All eyes are looking at me. I firmly said, “No. Rara could not accept Alan to be a priest for Rara. Rara has been patient enough to forget about Alan and all the bad things that happened in the past. Alan better look for another life companion who loves Alan more. Rara can't!” I left the family and Alan.

I really can't take it. I don't want to hate him or love him. I just want to not know him anymore. That'sallthatis.

Let time flow like water. Hopefully, God will give me someone better than Alan, and only God will know when and where I can find that person.