Still In Love's
EP. 67. Unready

********

Orange was surprised by Blue who suddenly hugged him. Eager for him to push the man's body, but as if his impulses were not well received by the receptors, his hand remained motionless as hard as his brain asked him to push Blue away from his body immediately.

“You know, Ji, what should I do so you want to forgive me?” Blue continued with tears that began to flow from the corner of her eyes.

“She cried?” Orange murmured in his heart when he felt the clothes on his shoulders wet.

“I may not be able to erase every mistake I ever made. But I can fix it, Ji. So, tell me what to do?”

“Do not apologize again.” Speak Orange then while pushing the Blue body slowly.

Sensing that Blue loosened her embrace, then slightly withdrew to meet her gaze with Orange.

“I'll excuse you. So please stop to apologize.” Although Orange said that in a cold tone, but a little sense of relief Blue felt in her heart hearing that.

“Then it is. . .” The two Blue hands crept up to grab the orange hand and grasp it. “Can you give me another chance?” Ask expectantly.

“I've lost faith in you. For that I can't, I don't want to be sick anymore.” Reply Orange with a wounded look.

Blue Heart throbbing pain hearing Orange speech just now. Not solely because of his words, but aware of so many wounds that he had inflicted on the heart of Orange, until the girl was afraid to believe him again.

“Although I said I would forgive you, but that does not mean my heart is fine.” Added Orange, there was a tinge of disappointment in his speech.

Forgiveness and forgetting mistakes can be two different things. Apologizing can be done in the same second. But, Orange needs time to forget Blue's mistake to him.

Forgiveness is easy, but it also leaves a wound. There are incised wounds, there are holes in the heart that then leave anxiety. Many things feel different. The blue orange is no longer the same person. Blue has hurt her, it's hard to act like she used to.

Because every time Orange tries to forget the mistake, the stronger the memory of the wound that Blue once inflicted on his heart. The existence of Blue around him became something that felt so torturous.

“I beg. Give me a chance once again, I promise I'll fix everything.” Blue roar, his tears scattered until his face reddened.

“Jingga, I beg you, hum?”

Orange widened her eyes to find Blue suddenly kneeling without letting go of her hand.

“You can't believe gini.” The orange that was evil pulled Blue's hand to bring him to his feet, but the boy was silent in place.

“I can't without you by my side. Please come back with me, Orange.” Blue with bright eyes.

For a moment Orange was silent with a heavy sigh, then crouched down and punched slowly on the boy's shoulder.

“You're selfish.” Speak a weak orange. “You always think of yourself without wanting to know how I feel. Wicked.”

Blue grabbed the hand of Orange who kept hitting his shoulder to then back he held.

“I will be selfish forever to keep you by my side.”

“You're the meanest person to come into my life.” Maki Orange stared at the Blue Beaver. “I have to what? I still love you, but my heart hurts.”

Jinggang then released his hand from the grasp of Blue's hand, then began to cry while covering his face. His defense just collapsed.

Seeing Orange cry like that made Blue feel even more guilty and hurt. Blue shook his head slowly, then grabbed the two vibrating shoulders of the girl. He had promised himself not to make the orange cry again.

“Do not cry.” Enclosed the body of the orange tightly, then rubbed gently the back of the girl. “I know your heart hurts. Therefore please allow me to take responsibility for what I have done, I will try to give the best treatment for the wounds I have made in your heart.”

“But it won't be easy for me to trust you again.”

Blue let go of the hug, slightly slashed the distance, then looked down looking for an orange face. “I promise to do my best, as much as possible I will try to make you believe again the same I.”

Orange stared silently at the worried Blue. “I don't know.”

“Please, once again aja.”

“This is the last.” Speak Orange doubtfully.

“Totally?” Blue asked to make sure, his eyes sparkled happily even though they still looked wet.

“I don't want to say that for the second time.” Blue Smile on her dry lips heard an orange speech.

“I won't miss this opportunity. I promise.” Sahut Biru happy and re-ambur hugging orange tightly. His heart felt even more relieved, as if the thorns that stuck there disappeared instantly.

“I’m going to see it.” Orange hope does not disappoint, he will wait for Blue to prove his words.

“Still, Ji.” Blue said full of haru, increasingly tightened the embrace without reply, then his face he drowned on the shoulders of Orange, inhaling deeply the sweet aroma of strawberries from the body of Orange that he missed so much.

“You made me asphyxiate.” The long orange protest felt Blue as if it was strangling him.

“Ehh, sorry.” Blue regained his senses, then immediately let go of his embrace.

Blue smilingly looked at Orange, then both of her hands extended out erasing the rest of the tears that started to dry on the girl's face.

“Udah done, right?” Ask Orange then while releasing Blue's hand from the wajjanya.

Both Blue eyebrows are confused. “Hah?”

“I have an operating schedule.” Speak Orange who began to feel soreness in his knee.

Blue was confused, actually he wanted to spend time with Orange for a while there. But Blue was a little awkward to ask for it.

“I first.” Flirt with the girl without waiting for approval and just leave.

“Ohh. Okay.” In the end, Blue could only see an orange back that slowly disappeared from his sight.

********

In the afternoon before Maghrib, Jingga was still seen under the blanket still with her work suit. The orange felt his body very tired after having surgery for almost a day.

The girl had just woken up when Mother forcibly woke her by splashing water on her face.

“This girl comes home from work instead of directly shower.” Omel Mommy when he saw an orange that began to squirm.

“Poor who will be your husband later, have a wife who is a slob gini.” Continue Mother.

“Yes, I don't want to marry.” Sahut Orange immediately with a hoarse voice typical of people wake up. Now the girl had sat down, but her eyes were still closed.

“Your soul seems to be still behind in the dream world, Ji. Don't worry about you talking. If God hears what?” Tegur Mommy does not like the arbitrary speech of Orange.

“Most cabulin.” Orange is back to speaking lightly.

“Amit-amit, yes. Huh, Ji, you take a bath there let your brain same mouth normal again.” Tell Mother while pointing the head and mouth of the orange alternately.

“Mother have a shower?” Orang-orang asked.

“Mother just finished ready for clothes, this new want to shower.” Answer Mother.

“Yes I've taken the bath, yes.” Kelak Orange.

Mother snorted, feeling anxious herself with this youngest child. “It looks like your head should be fixed the same Blue, deh, Ji. Blue neurosurgery specialist, right?”

The orange rolled its eyeballs lazily as soon as it heard the name Blue called. “Aaan, anyway, bring him everything?” Gerrymandering slowly.

“Mother, your head is in trouble after returning from Yemen. Maybe too often hear the explosion times, huh?” Mommy continues not to heed the grunts of Orange.

“Or, you have nails in your head? Try Mother see.” Mother then grabbed the head of the Orange and examined it, the girl just resigned.

“If there are nails, I become kuntilanak, dong. Ihh, cerem, Bun.”Sahut Joking orange.

“Iih, Orange. You are by the way, yes.” Mother hit softly on the shoulders of an anxious orange. The girl laughed amusedly looking at Mother who looked gregetan.

“Haha, anyways Mother is very strange. My head has its nails.”

“There you shower.” Tell Mother again. This time, the middle-aged woman pulled the blanket that was still wrapped in half an orange body so that she would completely get out of her bed.

“Iya-iya. I take a shower, nih.” Not wanting to argue anymore, Orange finally got out of bed. “Lagian shower or not, it makes no difference, kok.”

“Why?” Ask the Mother who saw her son stop the step.

“I stay beautiful.” Answer the confident orange.

“Mandi or Bunda bathein.” Threatening Mother gregetan

“Wahh, when washed, I'm like a corpse, dong.”

“JINGGA.” Shouted Mother growled at once. The orange just chuckled as it passed to go to the bathroom.

“Jii, take a shower not long, we want dinner at home Om Rendi.” Shouted Mother from outside the bathroom door.

“I don't want to come!” Orange back screaming.

The girl snorted behind the shower that soaked her body. Father and Mother forced to attend dinner invitations at the home of Om Rendra and Aunt Lisa. Orange actually he wanted to avoid it because it was so lazy to meet Blue there, but unfortunately he did not get a way to escape.

********

Blue stared sadly at the photo of Orange on her phone which she took secretly in the hospital. What happened on the roof of the hospital one week ago did not make Orange stop ignoring it.

Nothing has changed. The girl still always refuses her invitation, ignores her phone calls or messages, and still avoids them. Orange would go if you see Blue anywhere, except for work, he is very professional.

“I first.” He said as he turned so Blue approached his desk to join him at lunch in the cafeteria. The girl left her freshly touched food a little.

This again made Blue's heart hurt. Though, Orange says give him a chance, but the fact he did not open his heart to Blue proves it.

Blue can what other than the edges resigned with an orange attitude to him?

“Bii. . .”

“Ma. . .” Blue turned, saw Mama bend her head from behind the door of the room.

“Mama can enter?” Asked the woman who answered nodding softly by Blue.

Mama smiled knots, then moved towards Blue who was sitting on the sofa bench.

“Kok not ready yet? Soon Om Rendra's family is coming, you know.” Mama asked while sitting beside Blue.

Blue shook with a weak smile. “Free. Orange will not come.”

Exhaling a heavy breath. Mama fell silent. He knew exactly how the cheerful girl had turned so cold on Blue.

Once Mama invited Orange to lunch a few days ago, including Blue as well. And Mama saw how Orange ignored the child, she spoke as necessary and avoided the conversation as much as possible.

There is no more little attention that Orange gives to Blue as it used to. My mom was sad, but couldn't do much either.

“Ma, what should I do to make Orange back?”

Back to breathing heavily. Can't stand it anymore, Mama then hugged Blue full of affection. His heart ached to see his only child suffer.

“Ma, Orange is afraid of me.”

Mama still chose silence, she gently rubbed Blue's vibrating back.

“Ma, please help me.”

“Sorry, Mama can't do much. We can't make Orange, Bi.”

Blue pulled his face to look at Mama. “But I can't be without Orange in my life.”

“Upload this punishment for you.” Mama sighed to pause her sentence. “Bi, you have hurt the child of a lovingly cared for person in his family. Mama and Papa never taught you to do kayak.”

Blue speechless. He had indeed told everything he did to Jingga including the incident in the villa at that time. Both of his parents were obviously disappointed and had kept him quiet for some time.

“And you know? Orange is still good not to tell what you do with his parents until they can still give you the opportunity and do your job. Actually Mama is embarrassed to face Orange.”

Once again, Mama is not a parent who will defend her child's mistakes, no matter how much love and unfortunately for Blue.

“I know, but please help me persuade Orange again.” Blue is begging.

Mama shook her head. “Quite leave everything the same Orange.”

********

Repeatedly a rude snort sounded from the lips of Orange. There was nothing more frustrating for her than attending that dinner. He will face Blue again.

Orange did say give the guy a chance. But honestly, she wasn't ready to reopen her heart to Blue.

“Why you?” Mother asked half a whisper as they got out of the car.

“Mother knows myself I'm sorry to meet Blue.” Sahut Jingga, then with ogah-ogahan followed Dad's step to enter the luxury house.

“We're not here for Blue. But for Om Rendi and–”

“Iya knows, but still there is Blue there. He's their son.” Sela Orange by bending her face.

Mother looked at him full of reprimands. “Mother does not like, yes, you behave like gini.”

“Hmm.” Say lazy orange, do not want to prolong the debate.

The orange felt his heart pounding fast, his fingertips feeling cold. All the memories of the last time he entered this house revolved around without permission in his head.

In this house, Jingga learned to cook and chose the invitation design with Aunt Lisa. And in this house also Orange had time to do romantic things with Blue. They had a hot kiss on the living room sofa that had just passed by.

Orange shook his head, dismissing the dirty thoughts that suddenly filled his head.

“Happy wedding anniversary.” Mother gave each other a warm hug with Aunt Lisa who greeted them in the dining room. So did Dad and Om Rendi.

“Thirty-five years old. May it be more romantic.” Tempt Mother after taking off her embrace and handing her a bouquet of white lilies.

Aunt Lisa laughed gracefully. “Can be you, tuh.”

“Happy wedding anniversary, Om, Aunt.” The Orange Turn is saluting and giving the need to Om Rendi and the Tanter Lisa.

“Still, Dear. Ihh, so pretty.” Aunt Lisa pinched her orange chin wrath after breaking her embrace.

“Tante can aja.” The orange blushed with a small rarity. “Ohh, yes. Sorry I didn't bring a gift.”

“You just came it was the most special gift for us.” Reply Om Rendi, Jingga just smiled shyly.

“Om, really, tuh, Ji.” Aunt Lisa's timps gently stroke the orange cheeks, then let them sit down and begin to enjoy the dinner served provided.

The orange was dumbfounded when his eyes caught the dark eyes staring at him in silence. Blue sat right before him until their gazes met in a straight line.

The guy looks dazzling with his casual outfit. Damnit. That bastard still looks handsome in the eyes of Orange.

“Eat, Ji.” Blue Speech resuscitates Orange.

The girl simply nodded unwillingly to make a sound, and the rest of her also remained silent even though Blue continued to try to open up the chat.

Blue again held back the pain of Orange's attitude to him.

“Ohh, yes. Aunty Denger you have panic disorder?”

Orange swallowed the piece of meat in her mouth painstakingly as the sound of Aunt Lisa calling her name sounded.

“Iya, Tan. But not bad, kok.” Then he took a drink of water and swooped it to push in the meat that felt stuck in his throat.

“Mau Aunty knew Doctor Johan? He had nanganin Blue first.” Aunt Lisa's bargain is sincere, her face water looks worried.

“No need, Tan, thanks. I just need more adaptation and adaptation. I'm sure I can heal on my own, it's light, kok.” Bright orange calming.

Aunt Lisa looked at the doubtful orange. “Ya. But if you need treatment, just say the same Om or Aunt, let us directly register to the session he.”

“Iya, Tan, thanks.” Reply Orange smiled awkwardly.

“We also forced him. But ya know for yourself, Orange is a bit stubborn guy.” Mother chimed.

Orange snorted, then turned his face away. But damn, his eyes again met with Blue eyes that had been shining on him with a sad look.

“Yes, young people love to kayak that. Quoted stupid, kayak this one, nih.” Add the Aunt Lisa with her eyes twitching towards the Blue sitting next to her.

Mommy just smiled, then looked at Blue who smiled faintly at him.

The dinner trip was filled with crisp talk typical of parents. They discuss the past from school, dating, to marriage and they have children. The orange could only exhale his bored breath.

********

“Bii, take Orange for a walk.” Papa's orders on Blue. Now they have turned to the living room to continue the conversation.

“I'm here, Om.” Push Orange fast.

“You will be bored with parent discussion.” Aunt Lisa's.

“Iya, Ji. Aunt Lisa's really. Have mending you chat with Blue in other places, the young should be the same young.” Added Father. Orange snorted in his heart, as much as possible to keep his manners in front of Om Rendi and Aunt Lisa.

“Come!” Blue cried as he moved and extended his hand to Orange. “Someone I want to talk about is also you.”

Orange nodded, then moved along, making Blue pull back his hand. He led the way to take the girl to the back garden of the house and sat on a swing.

“Cold, Ji.”

The orange gasped as it felt a warm object covering both of its open shoulders. He turned his head, his eyes following the moving Blue sitting next to him.

“Thanks.” Reply Orange while close Blue's suit. He regretted that he was wearing a sleeveless dress, not matching the cold tonight.

Blue answered him with a nod, then smiled warmly looking at Orange who now turned his face away from him.

For a moment the two fell silent, immersed in their respective thoughts. Only the sound of the night beasts and the gusts of wind enlivened the atmosphere between them.

“Not you saying you want to give me a chance?” Blue opens the conversation.

The orange who was swinging slowly turned his head for a moment, then turned again and held the swing with both feet to stop moving.

“But why, Ji? Why not open your heart to me? Why are you still on me?”

“I told you it won't be easy for me.” Sahut Orange, then smiled and twisted his neck to look at Blue. “If you can't afford it, you can surrender now.”

“No, Ji. Even thinking about it I don't want to. I will never give up on you forever.”

Blue Hearts are back to pain. It was like this to be fighting alone.

********

To be continued. . . .