SUBSTITUTE ARMY
V&L 184

...THEATRICALITY...

In this life we cannot deny, if sometimes life is covered with a number of pretense. there is even one song that says that this world is a stage play where the whole story is always easy to change with many stories that are always made as drama.

When we are faced with two choices between desire and supplication, one of the choices inevitably leads us to one role even more in order to cover one up or to be honest with the sentence the charade so as not to hurt his other heart.

just as now experienced by Li Qin who chose to grant Valdis's request and began to try to pretend in front of Valdi as if - will Valdi who was in his heart long ago and every answer he gave was full of a role he inevitably had to play.

Currently Li Qin and Valdi were still sitting side by side in a warm cup of tea, the two of them were still on the same day, he said, the same atmosphere is just the time that changes because every second it must change and pass.

"Li Qin, may I ask.? why do you realize you've mentioned my name so many times.?" valdi asked curiously and hearing that Li Qin was a little confused as to what to answer.

"at that time I called your name because I wanted to ask you for help but, I didn't know what kind of help I wanted" li Qin replied honestly about asking for help but lied about why he asked Valdi for help.

"what was the moment you were in trouble.?" ask Valdi

"i really don't know what kind of distress I was going through at the time. In that memory I felt very depressed, it felt like I was dumped and at that time I knew I was in a state of being pinned down by the hardest choice and then I was left alone in the dark and it made me so scared that I begged inside heart so that you will come immediately and help to find me in a dark place that is like a cave in a steep abyss" Li Qin replied with a pretence.

At the moment Li Qin seemed to choose a path filled with theatrics, his words to Valdi were also full of meaning as if to say that Valdis was the one who had thrown him into a place like a cave in a very steep abyss just for the sake of making Valdi happy, he willingly ordered his other heart to pretend and be a coward for his own feelings.

"did I come to help you in your dreams as you expected.?" ask Valdi

"i don't know exactly what I know when I open my eyes, you've hugged me and said 'it's okay Li Qin, you're safe don't be afraid that I'm here to protect you. I won't let a single ant hurt you' I felt slowly safe, I also started to calm down as if guarded by thousands of soldiers" replied Li Qin who was increasingly entering in his role that was filled with pure-bredness.

"Li Qin I promise to protect you and won't let a single ant hurt you" valdi said when listening to Li Qin's answer and the words from his apparently managed to make Li Qin smile also drifted in his own mind.

"how can you protect me.?

how can you keep me until even one ant you don't allow to hurt me, while just looking at you feels like a thousand arrows of fire and choosing you alone I was like stabbed by thousands of dagger.

how can I be comfortable at your side if being beside you is not my desire but only because of someone's request for your happiness.!

how can you and I unite when I only want the same as you but not yourself" Li Qin said in his heart.

"Li Qin, what are you thinking.?" asked Valdi who saw Li Qin as immersed in his own thoughts.

"aaa.. no, I just thought when I fell how much it hurt when my head hit the dispenser. I also remember how painful the wound on my head was, I don't want to fall down anymore. If I hurt my head again, I will definitely lose my entire head" Li Qin replied again, where every word he said today is full of meaning and also full of innuendo.

"take it easy and be careful, as long as you can take care of yourself it won't happen to you again" Valdi replied.

"i will be calm and also careful, besides what I have to fear.if, your existence alone has made me safe" Li Qin said sincerely without any intention of seducing.

"of course not, I'm not seducing.I really - really with my words" Li Qin replied and heard that Valdi seemed to want to know more about Li Qin's feelings towards him.

"Li Qin, can you answer honestly. Has my name been in your heart all this time..?" ask Valdi

Hearing the question from Valdi, Li Qin was surprised and felt at a loss as to what to answer. he is afraid when he is honest then Valdi is disappointed and hates himself also hates his twin sister and ends up in a dispute to the two brothers but, if he lies then he must also be prepared to hurt himself, lying to himself also hurts his heart and Valdis's, Li Qin again remembered one thing about Valdis's words and supplications before they parted.

"Li Qin, please remember this no matter what.I beg you not to say one sentence of rejection to my brother that could hurt his heart and mine.! try to accept her and love her as much as you have for me, if you can feel greater than you give me" valdis's words danced - a dance in Li Qin's memory until he was momentarily silent with a smile that looked sincere even though the smile was actually trying to cover up a big lie about the heart.

"Valdi, I really don't want to call you Tanaka because I used to know you by the name of Valdi. If I can be honest your name was in my heart long ago, sometimes when you're in trouble it's like calling your name and asking for your help, at that time I didn't have enough courage to do it plus you were too bar-bar when I was a teenager" li Qin replied honestly because in the past he sometimes wanted to ask Valdi for help to approach Valdis but, seeing Valdi's behavior that was too bar bar made Li Qin have to undo his intentions.

"ha.ha.ha.ha.." Valdi laughed out loud as he listened to Li Qin's confession.

"are you laughing.?" li Qin said.

"yes, I laughed. I remember when I first made your head tear up a few stitches" Valdi replied

"at that time you were not afraid in the slightest" Li Qin said

"i've never been afraid of anything except momy and papa, I'm so scared to hear them say 'momy and papa are upset because of your behavior' I hate to let my parents down the most because that's why I chose to stay away from them when I graduated from High School if, still on the other side of my parents. it feels like it will further disappoint them what else I chose to be unemployed. also try to avoid you hoping my love for you can be forgotten and replaced because knowing that my sister Valdis also likes you" Valdi said honestly

Hearing Valdi's words, Li Qin remembered Valdis and it made him feel guilty and sad at the same time. actually Valdis and Valdi are two bodies and the same face with different names and behaviors, the heart can never be lied to and can never be invited to turn away even if it seems the same.

"Valdi, if you like someone then say like.! if you hate then learn to understand if you are hated and never again teach your heart to run away from reality that you can never avoid" Li Qin said

"Li Qin if, you are in my position where you just found out that the woman you like a long time ago was liked by your own beloved sister.how do you feel.? what kind of wise decision would you take other than to dodge and go far from the second front and hope that when far away the taste could be replaced." valdi asked Li Qin and it made Li Qin go awry.

"Sometimes in difficult situations and choices we need to avoid but not disappear like you did Valdi. Because no matter how far you are lost, your sincere feelings can never be lost."

HAYOOO.. HOW'S THE STORY GOING ON..?

WILL LI QIN CHOOSE TO CONTINUE TO PRETEND.?

OR MAYBE LI QIN CHOSE TO BE HONEST DESPITE BEING PAINFUL BUT, TRYING TO OPEN HIS HEART TO VALDI.?

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