The Substitute Woman on the First Night
Let Go of the First Night

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At that time, time was slow for me. I stepped hesitantly through the bathroom door I just opened. Perhaps this is the punishment I must accept for my past sins. Even if later Mas Denis eventually divorced me because I felt lied to, I was willing because it all started from my mistakes. My dishonesty really backfired on me. However, he suddenly came in a hurry while calling my name repeatedly. I can see if my phone is stuck in his ear.

"Lissa, your mother …." I'm appalled. Staring at Mas Denis with his anxious face was running towards me. Indeed, this room is so spacious that it takes several meters to be able to arrive in the bathroom.

"Why, Mas? What's with mom?" I also ask who is worried.

"Your mother has to have surgery tonight, she's in terrible shape." While breathing heavily, Mas Denis said the bad news to make my knees feel powerless. I really didn't expect this to happen on my first night.

"Mother ...." It felt like a dream, but after I thought, fate seemed to be helping me. To set aside time for my lies not to be exposed, even if I knew it wouldn't last forever.

"Now you're ready! We're going to the hospital tonight. You are patient, my dear! I'm sure everything's gonna be okay."

With a feeling of sadness that immediately wrapped my heart, I also stepped towards the walking closet that was not far from my position. While Mas Denis, back to calm my sister by phone. I can still hear what Mas Denis said to Almira, my twin. Yes, I do have a younger sister and our age gap is only a few seconds away. Our faces are very similar because we are identical twins. Many discourses that I often read if identical twins like me and Almira have a strong inner bond so that they can feel each other's sadness, even if they do not meet each other. But somehow that didn't happen to me. Maybe it's because Almira and I weren't raised in the same town. We got separated because my mom and dad decided to get divorced. They split custody and after my father died, I returned to Jakarta and stayed with my mother and Almira.

Throughout the journey I was quieter. Looking out the window with a still comfortable raindrop drenching the universe. My heart is getting more agitated. Not only did I think about my mother's condition, but I was also faced with a fear about my first night that might be my last night as Mas Denis' wife. Maybe others can respond casually, but not if they know the character and character of Mas Denis who is hard. He is kind and very attentive. However, for the matter of honesty there is no bargain in the dictionary of his life. That's what makes my fear grow.

"You don't feel sad! We both pray for your mother's safety. I called the hospital, I asked them to do the surgery without waiting for us to come. Don't think anything weird!"

His attention was somehow like magic that instantly made my sadness fade away. He kind of stuffed me with his sweet words. Makes me feel more unwilling if I have to lose a man like him.

"No, I don't want him to divorce me. Had I been able to get through tonight, all would have been well, "my mind was trying to convince my heart that I would have been able to get through tonight without having to expose my lies.

In the midst of a growing fear that made my head dizzy, suddenly an idea seeped into my mind. The real idea was crazy for me to do, but I felt like this was the only way I could work on that my marriage to Mas Denis would not end.

"I had to force Mira to take my place on this first night. I don't really want Mas Denis to enjoy my sister's body, but I don't have a choice. This I have to do. Got to! If indeed I still want to be his wife," my mind decided, although the doubt still made me unsure if this was the best thing to do.

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