The Wedding
18. Partly Memory

Arriving home, I went straight to the kitchen and took a drink from the fridge, it was very hot. It's hot weather or my heart is hot, my scolding.

Still vividly imagined in my brain the incident at the supermarket earlier. Seeing Faza holding the Star in front of my eyes, I, his legal wife, left.

"Why did you marry me anyway? You stay with me for the sake of that woman, Faza! I am your wife, WIFE. And he's your ex-lover. I got home in a taxi, but where are you? Time is more attentive to the taxi man than you. Why are you looking for something that is not halal while you already have something that is halal in front of your eyes?" my anger spills all my frustration.

I drank the cold water I took from the fridge, it felt a little calm. After feeling a little better, I immediately climbed the stairs and headed for the bathroom in my room. It feels like soaking is the best option for now.

I was soaking in the rose water, the petals I was playing, actually my mind was still focused on Faza. I don't know, I'm really tired of Faza's attitude. Nine months of our marriage didn't mean anything to her.

Three months into our marriage, we have entered a year. If there is no change in our relationship, what should I do? I'm getting tired of thinking about someone who didn't want my presence in his life from the beginning.

After I felt enough to soak, I cleaned my body back and picked up the towel I was hanging near the bathroom door. I put an orange towel on my body.

When I came out of the bathroom, I was shocked, Faza was already in the room and was sitting on the bed playing with his phone, his face still looking annoyed.

I took a breath through my nose and let it out through my mouth, trying to calm down. I don't know why my heart beats faster. I also feel uncomfortable with my condition that only uses a towel, because during marriage we never change clothes when there is a partner, always alternating rooms, and so on, if it's not like that, I or Faza wear clothes in the bathroom.

I kept silent for a moment, I did not bring my clothes, so it was useless if I went back to the bathroom. Besides, I don't think Faza is home yet, but he's still busy with his ex-girlfriend.

I tried to calm down and set my feet towards the closet at the end of the room where I had to go through the bed. No matter how many steps I had to take, my current mind was to take my clothes and underwear and then immediately return to the bathroom.

"Why are you acting like that?" ask Faza suddenly.

I stopped my steps. Faza looked at him confused.

"What do you mean?" ask me confused occasionally hold the towel so as not to come off.

"Your attitude to the stars is not pleasant at all. The stars have tried to be friendly and polite to you" said Faza ketus.

I rolled my eyeballs, not believing what Faza had just said. He was defending the stars.

"Mas can't accept I asked her ex-boyfriend or not? Just that and now you're mad at me?" I said pissed.

"Clearly" she replied

"Mas, I'm your wife, you have the right to ask, ask who the woman named Star is, the one who knows me" I said as I passed into the wardrobe.

"If you are my wife, why? Right to act like that? What is special about a wife? You always say wife and wife, what do you want?" snapped Faza.

"Mas, I should have asked the mas what he wanted. I've been trying to keep quiet and give up. Mas has never touched me as a wifeun I tried to accept, mas" I said holding back tears.

"Oh so in your mind it's just about s*x, huh? Okay that's what you want yeah, here" Faza approached me and pulled me rough, he threw my body on the bed.

He immediately took off his t-shirt and jeans and threw them on the floor. He got on the bed exactly he climbed up my body, he's on top of me now.

I cried, somehow my pride was hurt, I did not want something like this, even if I let go of my virginity to Faza, I wanted in a good way not a forced way like this.

"Don't do this, ma'am" I said trying to hold my towel.

Faza tried to take off my towel by force. My towel felt loose, I was still trying to keep it from opening.

"You're my wife, you want this, right?" said Faza still trying to pull my towel, again and again almost my towel came off.

I tried to get rid of Faza's hand and kept my towel. I felt defeated, his strength was greater than mine, I gathered as much strength as I could, subconsciously slapping Faza's cheek.

"Stop, Faza!!" I shouted, a slap floated up and landed on Faza's cheek.

Faza came to a halt, his face looking once if he was surprised by my slap. I really don't care anymore. If he wants to slap me back, I'm resigned. Or he wants to divorce me.

"Daisy?" said Faza slowly.

"I'm sorry, Daisy. What I did, I'm sorry" he said and rushed down. He took another towel from the closet.

Faza instantly covered my exposed body with the towel he was carrying. Then he put his shirt on and his pants back on.

I was still sitting on the bed and crying, Faza really scared me. Shortly after his clothes were complete, he came over to me. He touched my cheek gently, this is the first time Faza has done that.

"I'm sorry, Daisy. You must be scared to see me like that. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry I got carried away by my angry emotions. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you at all" said Faza stroking my cheek gently, his voice so soft, only this time I heard Faza say softly to me.

I was still trying to calm myself. I feel so dirty and ashamed. Like being raped by someone. I knew it was my husband Faza, but I didn't expect him to do something like this.

"Now put on your clothes, I'll leave the room."

Faza exited the room and left me alone.

I was still reluctant to stand up and put on my clothes, I just wanted to be quiet for a while. My crying had stopped, only the pain was still in my heart, not wanting to leave here.