The Wedding
5. The Coldest Date Ever's

It had been six months since I broke up with Fariq, I busied myself with finding new activities. Working alone was really tired for me, but there was still time to think back to Fariq, so I was looking for other extra activities so I at least didn't think about him at all, one of them is writing novels, reading novels, practicing to draw kawaii drawings and others. I even followed an app to learn a foreign language. I have some friends from Turkey, Malaysia, Arab, Australia and others. It adds to my knowledge of foreign languages.

But still so many activities that I participated in, did not make me completely forget about Fariq. I'm still waiting for him. My heart still wishes I could re-knit love with her. It's too hard for me to part with Fariq. I really feel lost. Three years with him made my life colorful and made me feel whole and I want it to happen again in my life right now.

It was Fariq who helped me to regain my confidence, he who taught me to love myself first before loving others. He never tired of always being there for me, supporting me and making me feel so meaningful. How could I possibly forget it?

This afternoon twilight looks so beautiful, I looked at it from the window of the bus I had after work.

I opened my phone, then my finger pointed and touched the gallery, I opened the folder that I had been hiding which contained my photos with Fariq first.

Her longing filled my heart more and more, claustrophobic. The unquenchable longing. I could only look at her handsome face through these photos, no longer see her in person, no longer able to touch her anymore, no longer able to laugh with her anymore, already unable to tease and look at his timid face anymore. There are so many memories with Fariq.

Memories that make it hard to get back up. It was the memories that always flicked my steps as I tried not to remember Fariq anymore. If I didn't have any memories with him, maybe my life would be fine now, I didn't think about it at all, I wouldn't have to cry over his decision to leave me.

Tyinggggg.

From : Reina

Hi, you home yet?

And soon I immediately replied.

To : Reina

Arrive soon, why?

From : Reina

To : Reina

There was nothing - _- even he called me only once when he first met.

From : Reina

Aaah. I thought you were communicating, who knows how you can help you break your heart and forget about Fariq.

To : Reina

Rei, Faza doesn't seem interested in me at all. If he likes me, he will call me often or take me on the road. But the truth is he didn't do that, did he? So let's just say I'm just acquainted with him, nothing more.

From : Reina

But I can't bear to see you often daydream, not as cheerful as before.

To : Reina

I'm fine, Rei:) thanks you already care about me.

Then I pressed the lock button on my phone screen and put it back in my bag.

What was it like to be quiet like this when Fariq wasn't in my life? Since when does my happiness depend on his presence? Not like this, right? Before I knew Fariq, I could be happy too, right? I can live my life without him. But why is it that after three years with him, it feels so hard for me to live my life now without his presence? I feel like something is missing from this part of my life. I don't feel whole anymore. I became quiet. I spend more time alone.

Ah...that's how it feels to be alone, what about you there, Fariq? Do you also feel lonely and alone like me? Or are you okay without me? my inner.