Under Sun
34. If You Can’t Fall Asleep [END ]

If likened, night is a large black canvas that deliberately let his body doused in dark ink so that the moon can be seen in the dark. He also said, the night is deliberately present because the day prefers the sun.

Then the stars appear in between, die and grow back.

Tell the moon if there's nothing to regret.

The woman closes her book when the last sheet is washed away. Interesting book, he thought again.

Under a thick blanket covering half her body, Jea was busy reading the books she always bought every week. Everything is astronomical. But lately he began to be interested in reading fiction and poetry.

The night of late January was cold. Snow that has almost dried does not make the air around becomes warmer than before.

Jea grabbed a glass of hot chocolate billowing its steam over the nightstand as the woman had just removed her glasses.

Another night that could not be controlled.

He could not sleep, anymore.

"Do I have to buy some sleeping pills?" He said after he breathed out slowly. Really, his body is tired. But even so, his eyes did not want to be closed as well.

The cup was back where it had been, Jea glanced blankly at all directions.

Jea then laid his body on the mattress after hours just leaning on the head of the bed. His eyes glanced at the roof ceiling. Empty and dark.

Suddenly, a name came back through his mind. No matter how difficult it was for Jea to let go of the shadows, she often came— to accompany the dreams in her night.

Jeffrey what are you doing, like?

It had been two years, and the woman was still unable to let go.

"Definitely Jeffrey again happy with the new girl. Huh," Jea put a little of her lips as she could confirm the pleasure that approached Jeffrey in the absence of Jea.

If you can't fall asleep, listen to this.

Jea frowned when the random sentence that even teased her.

Is now a good time to hear the tape?

To be honest, Jea wasn't ready to hear it at all. For two years the tape had been sitting in the nightstand drawer of the woman's room without ever being touched.

Jea is not ready.

Nevertheless, lately Jea can not go to sleep. And the only sentence that rolled around the most in his brain was just an enticement to hear the last tape the man left behind.

His body moved slowly. Remove the thick blanket that warms him and then pull the nightstand drawer.

Showing a tape that looks a little dusty now. His hand grabbed the thing slowly. His heart started to beat.

Although her hands trembled slightly, Jea really ventured to immediately play the tape when her hand grabbed the cassette player on the nightstand.

The girl's eyes flickered several times as she had inserted the tape into the spinning machine. For some reason, Jea started to feel scared.

He was afraid that the wall he had built over the past two years to confine himself to all the memories of Jeffrey would just crumble after Jea heard the tape.

Jea's finger started pressing the button to start. A noise that was not too disturbing silence began to be heard coming out of the spinning machine. Chanting the voice of the man she so desperately missed.

"One, two— oh can," said someone from inside the tape, making Jea bite her lips firmly. Because he knew clearly that the voice was Jeffrey's.

"Can't you sleep?" Jeffrey laughed lightly after asking the question, "Couldn't be able to sleep, so you heard this tape, right?"

Jea tightly gripped the cassette player in her hand. It was so cold that night, yet why was the man's voice warm?

"How's life, Jea? Is that good?" Jeffrey coughed then, "You don't get sick do you? You're not eating, are you?"

Now Jea smiled softly when she really felt Jeffrey's presence here. His eyes began to glaze over when the woman found out, Jeffrey was adjusting his breathing which began to weigh.

Looks like Jea knew when Jeffrey was doing the tape.

"I'm sorry, I haven't done a lot of things with you. Sorry."

"I've never regretted seeing you, Jea. I feel alive, because of you."

"Other times, don't look for someone like this," The voice stopped for a moment, for a few seconds, "I hope you are loved in the way you desire."

Jea's cry grew louder as the woman cursed how Jeffrey's words stifled the entire recesses of her heart. How could the man expect something that he should get?

"I am sorry for abandoned you when you need me the most and it has made you believe that love is an awesome thing that hurts," The man's voice sounded lower and lower in each word. His breath was blowing quite slowly, along with an expanding smile, Jea knew that.

"Soon, you will get better, baby. Promise. Time can heal everything," whispered Jeffrey again. Making Jea then drown his face in a white blanket that feels cold.

Jea wanted to hug Jeffrey at this moment.

"Don't be afraid, I'm always on your mind. I've never been anywhere. Okay?" Jeffrey chuckled again, for some reason.

"Many things I don't know. But, I know it feels like missing you that— is not good. But during a life without you, all I know is longing," he said again, this time more and more vaguely.

"They said I was trash. But why do I feel like a human being when I have you? Maybe I needed to be with you in order to learn that I desire more," Jeffrey coughed again when Jea could no longer feel the tears that fell down his cheeks.

It all felt gray, and dark.

"You know? I love you."

The sound of footsteps passing vaguely rang out in the recording. Even the voice of a woman who warned Jeffrey of the rest of the time could be heard clearly.

Apparently, the dope is also a poison for the dead injection was just injected into Jeffrey. Now Jea knew why Jeffrey's voice was becoming more vague.

Jea was no longer able to hear Jeffrey's voice as his voice grew louder.

"I'm okay, baby. I'm okay—"

"—Maybe when the time is right, you will find me again. And I think I'll miss you forever."

The sound is interrupted along with the finished recording. Leaving Jea in a cry that did not subside at all.

Really, which man could be more evil than Jeffrey who told him to listen to this tape when all Jea needed was to sleep in peace?

【ｕｎｄｅｒ　ｓｕｎ】

"—Jea."

"Jea."

"Jeanny!"

The woman opened her eyes when she almost fell out of bed. Quickly he glanced at the surroundings and found a stranger who was racking his waist, seeing him unhappy.

Wait, where is he? Then— the young man in front of him now who is it?

Jea hesitantly scrunched her face, "S-who?"

The guy's round in disbelief, "Huh? Who said lo?"

Then the man clicked, "Wash your face! Still in dreamland like you!"

Jea who did not understand then held his head which suddenly felt so painful and painful, making the man then panic and hold both shoulders Jea.

"Well, Jeanny! why?!"

The atmosphere suddenly quieted down when no one started the conversation anymore. The man was just speechless, still panicking— but no longer speaking when the woman in front of him stopped complaining while holding his head.

"... Jeanny?"

"... An, what's wrong?"

And then, and then,

the woman remembers who she really is.