Wedding Dust's
10. Bagaskara Adewangsa

...Seventeen August '22....

...Happy independence Day Indonesia, 🇮🇩 hopefully more advanced and successful Indonesia....

...To the readers of one homeland, may you always be in His protection. 🥰...

...BTW, what race have you been in? Don't forget to read Wedding Dust...🤭...

...Happy Reading's....

Ever heard the quote “There is only one happiness in this life, which is to love and be loved.” from George Sand? Or, “Do not blame gravity for falling in love.” by Albert Einstein?

I used those two quotes as the key to a relationship. But this time, I felt alone. Unloved, or even feeling Gravity spinning for love?

I'm happy because my life partner is my best friend, Nadya. However, when Nadya said the sentence that made my blood freeze, the world seemed to stop spinning. My brain that was like it was burned to the ground by anger, now suddenly cut off the tissue. Empty, blank.

I know I'm overreacting. But can Nadya choose and realize what I fear to be real? I was so scared that I would stand alone staring at the sinking sun. Unlike what we have been doing, always together when the sun rises, until it sinks.

No. gabe. Nadya can't do that. He must be the one standing next to me. It's not the guy who turns his back on me and walks with the other side of his back.

I took a big breath so that my lungs would return to work as they should, then exhaled along with the burden that I hoped could just leave, although in fact there was still a lot and weight left.

Then took a step following Nadya to the room. Not to talk, because I know for sure Nadya would refuse to talk in this situation. So, I decided to take off my shirt, pants, leaving bo*xer. Then pick up clean clothes and towels, hurrying towards the bathroom to clean yourself up. As for Nadya, she had already left the room when I entered. We just passed each other and didn't look at each other, let alone greet each other or talk.

I twisted a five-bladed iron circle that stuck to the wall so that water flowed from the Shower. I let the dots of water wet every inch of my body and every inch of my skin. Hopefully this will be useful to reduce the burden that is now shaking some of my sanity.

Nadya and her stubbornness are the burden of my sanity. I'd go crazy if I couldn't make Nadya go back. Or...was he supposed to remain stubborn? So we decided to be friends? Enough as a friend? Is that so? I don't know how to.

***

Dinner is enough with silence. Only the sound of plates and spoons clashing, filled the thickets. No one talks about what we did today as usual. We were silent and immersed in each other's feelings. Especially about what we discussed after the office.

Nadya ended her dinner session first and brought her dirty dishes towards the kitchen sink. I folded my lips as I stared at his back which was away. After thinking hard, I felt guilty for Nadya. And I intend to apologize and trust him without looking at Hansel. I shouldn't have thought that Nadya was going to do a prank with Hansel. I have to make Hansel just a bad part of my past, not for the future.

I stood up, walked around with dirty dishes and leftover chicken soup for me to put in Tupperware and put it in the freezer. I'm still waiting for the moment, where Nadya will look me in the eye, and we'll talk. But, that didn't even happen because Nadya dodged. He took the opposite step to my existence.

“Nad,” call me stop the step. “Sorry.”

Nadya indifferent. He kept on spurring the pace without caring I still hoped a lot would be sorry. Undeterred, I chased him to the front of the living room, where he turned on the television and started choosing movies from Netflix. I remained silent and took a position a little away from him. I'm trying to make peace. Make peace with Nadya, and of course with myself who began to whisper desires that were contrary to my heart. Two opposing sides of me are at war seeking victory.

Until finally Nadya decided to see an action film starring Vin Diesel, I began to re-open my lips.

“For this afternoon, sorry. I didn't mean to spy on you.”

“Then what?” the question was relaxed without looking at me for a bit.

“I just don't want Hansel to snatch you from me.”

Nadya giggled wryly. “Combine? Didn't you accuse me of cheating on him? Your alibi is overrated, Gas.”

“Ngak. Not at all like that, I do not intend to accuse you of cheating.” my behavior to myself. “Hansel is too bad for me, Nad.”

Nadya turned her head, like she was demanding and waiting for the next sentence that would come out of my mouth in the form of honesty. “I've been involved one problem with him on campus.”

“Trouble?”

“Personal issue, more precisely.”

Nadya silently listened. But our voices were muffled by the sound of the film being played.

“Why are you so confident that my Head of Division, is Hansel you mean? You guys have never met before, right?”

“Filling.” suhutku fast. My filing against something is powerful, so I can't ignore it for this. Especially regarding my household with Nadya. “But sorry, because I took a wrong step and made you uncomfortable.” continued me with a smile that felt like my throat was crammed with hundreds of nails until almost choked and dying. “I niesel.”

Nadia turned her gaze back from me towards the television screen in front of us. There was no answer, he was just staring straight, and I was waiting for his line of anger to rush at me. But nothing, and it's getting me worried and of course scared.

“I just need you to trust me, Gas.”

“I trust you, Nad.” I said without thinking ba-bi-bu and immediately cut the distance to grab Nadya into my arms, although there were still small rejections he made when my arm was about to dock on his shoulder. “I will always believe in you.”

And in the end he collapsed, letting me hold him in my arms. There's no one in my brain except Nadya. He is the universe to me.

“Iya. Sorry, it makes you uncomfortable.”

“By the way with me if you don't like it. Don't anyone else.”

“Iya, yes dear.” I said while tidying up his slightly messy black hair.

“Even if you feel I changed, or different from Nadya you know, rebuke. Don't hesitate.”

“Eumm.” I replied, then kissed the top of his head lovingly. I can't lie if I need Nadya. “I—will try to talk to Hera.”

Is this topic right for me to discuss? Hopefully yes.

“Ngomongin what?”

“I want to keep up with him, and focus on you.”

I felt Nadya's breath go too big. “No need to admit it if you still love, still love him. I'm okay.”

Suddenly our conversation stopped because there was an incoming call on Nadya's phone. Mama phone. Nadya and I stared at each other for a while, then I nodded so that she rushed to receive the call.

“Ya, Mam.”

“Mama bother no Nad?”

“No Mam, what's up?”

“When are you guys home? It has been almost a year since you returned to Surabaya.”

Nadya looks at me. “Do'ain year-end we can go home to Surabaya yes, Mam. We actually also want to go there, but the icon is still not possible.”

“Mama kangen with you Nad. Moreover, Juwi, he is the most terrible if your inget does not come home.”

Juwita is close to Nadya. My sister was like Siamese twins when she was Nadya.

“Ehehehemmm..” Nadya's laughter is soft as the answer to mama's sentence. I also caught a longing in Nadya's eyes. Maybe he missed his family too. “Nadya can not promise, but hopefully we can use the year-end leave to go home, mam.”

“Amin.”

I stroked Nadya's head and kissed her once more, then hid my face in the niche of her fragrant neck. I want to go to Nadya.

“Ah, my mom can't wait to hear the good news from you. When can you hold a grandchild?”

Mom's statement made Nadya freeze. He was devastated and hurt every time he heard that statement. It's both our fault for making a deal not to have a baby until we can and want to accept each other completely. But here, it's like Nadya was cornered. I don't know why, why the system works like that, as if women are guilty and questionable if they don't already have a baby. There is another reason behind their ignorance. And I feel so guilty about that. I need to talk to him both. About momongan, about the grandchild that two families coveted, about the child for us.[]

^^^to be continued.^^^

...🖤🖤🖤...

Don't forget to stop by too, though,

—Vienna (Modern Fiction)

—Another Winter (Modern Fiction)

—Adagio (Modern Fiction)

—Dark Autumn (Fantasy Romance)

—Ivory (Romansa Palace)

—Green (Romansa Palace)

—Wedding Maze (Modern Romance)

—WHITE (Modern Romance)

For her care and support, Vi's would like to thank you.

...See You's....