Wedding Dust's
24. Bagaskara Adewangsa

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...Do not forget to give support to Nadya and Bagas yes, let the spirit. 😊...

...🌹🌹🌹...

Satisfy your patience for your wife. Open your heart to all the spoiled attitudes that are sometimes annoying. Take your time to make him feel comfortable here. And love her, for she will be the mother of your children.

One message that papa gave after my ijab qobul was declared valid by several witnesses five years ago. Papa advised that I always patiently face Nadya's attitude, no matter what form and thickening what Nadya's attitude. Only one that I have not been able to realize since marriage and living with Nadya, is to spend more time for both.

I was busy, Nadya was also busy after choosing to work a year after we got married. I have more time at the office and, Hera. Nadya I think is fine because from the beginning she did not mind.

Nadya never once cried in front of me, as long as I was with her. He was always smiling, nosy, and cheerful when he was with me. That's what caught me off guard and couldn't understand Nadya completely until the time that should have been precious to us, was wasted.

These few days, I also felt there was a slight change in Nadya's attitude towards me. More precisely after Hansel appeared among us.

Okay, blame me if you think I'm too selfish for thinking bad to Nadya and Hansel, while I play openly in front of Nadya. I'm mistaken. I was wrong about that. But I'm trying to fix everything. I want to take off Hera even if not directly. I'm trying to take it off slowly.

Looking back at our present life. I was devastated when I saw Nadya crying. Panic soon invaded every inch of me. I was terrified to see her cheeks wet with tears. All this time I tried to prepare myself, if one day I saw Nadya crying, so that I could hold back and strengthen myself.

Butwhat? Look now. I was helpless just because I saw him cry. Everything I anticipated all this time was destroyed instantly. Nadya's tears are painful for me.

I lowered Nadya's body weight on the bed, on the side she used to sleep on. He didn't even want to let go of his embrace. He said he was embarrassed to cry in front of me. But I'm sure that's not the real reason he wanted to say.

If it's like this, I can't help but dissolve in Nadya's condition that looks so depressed. He continued to say shame, and apologize. Maybe just like me who wants to apologize for the events of these few days, or maybe there is one side to Nadya does not want to also let go of her ego.

I sat leaning against the headboard, stroking its delicate and fragrant mane of my favorite vanilla. Then kiss her a few times so she can be calmer than this when with me.

“I'm wrong Gas.”

“Ngak. I'm the wrong one. I shouldn't have banned you from working. I shouldn't be selfish and childish like this. I'm sorry, Nad. I've been too childish during my life with you.”

Repair your relationship.

Letto's words kept echoing in my eardrum.

This time I lowered my palm to touch Nadya's back. Swiping it softly so that she gets more comfortable. Should I talk about it tonight? Nadya looks not good, but I'm afraid it'll be too late if I postpone it more than tonight.

I folded my lips inward, busy rummaging through the contents of the brain to find a solution so that Nadya would listen to my words? Or next time after Nadya has improved?

Fine. I have to choose now. Staying with Nadya for too long is awkward.

“Actually, I've been talking a lot with Hera lately, Nad.”

I could feel if Nadya was holding her breath at this moment. Her crying suddenly subsided. He was listening to me talk.

“About my relationship with him. About how the fate of our marriage in the future, all I talk to Hera.”

Small bouncing bed. Nadya was positioning herself in front of me. I could see clearly, her face, her nose, and also her lips reddened with tears. And it was so adorable that it also made my heart slit. Uh, is 29 years old still adorable? But Nadya is adorable to me.

I looked at him expectantly with a gentle look. Hopefully Nadya can understand my purpose and purpose in discussing this with her.

“He insisted on not wanting to let go of our relationship. But I kept convincing him that we would end up. Our relationship was not right, and it should have ended a long time ago. Ever since I decided to take responsibility for you from your father, Nad.”

“Maybe that's why, Hera's sick. I said it was all too sudden, and she was in shock. And it makes me feel guilty about her.”

Nadya put her head back on my chest. He even tightened a hug on my waist, despite being silent without any intention of giving a response.

“I feel guilty, as well as sinful at the same time.” continued, and there are still many continuation sentences that I have compiled since the trip home earlier.

“I want to improve our relationship, Nad.”

Nadya's movements turned stiff as I said I wanted to improve our relationship. But I continued my efforts.

“I want, we start a marriage relationship without being bound and free from the rope of friendship.” I said it out loud which at that time also made Nadya lift her face. There was a glare of wounds on both of his manics that were still flushed red.

“I want. We are related like a husband and wife in general.”

Our view has not been cut off. So I decided to kiss her lips briefly. “And also..anak.”.

There is no lawfulness. Did I fail? Will Nadya refuse outright and choose to stay like this? Torturing each other in a transparent relationship with no direction?

The muffled sound of rain became the most melodious verse accompanying our silence. Nadya pulled her body and wanted to stay away. But I held him down hard. I forcefully pulled him back to lie on my chest, then I peeked at the top of his head many times.

“Do not go.”

I whispered those words so many times that Nadya's body returned to me. It's a bit pushy, but I don't want to be late. I don't want Nadya to be more comfortable leaning on anyone other than me.

It's pretty sudden. Maybe Nadya also thinks like that and she probably wants to think first before making a decision.

After being silent for quite a while, he finally made a sound and took a stance. “What...that makes you want our relationship like that?”

A difficult question for me to answer even though it has a concrete answer in front of my eyes.

“What because of your mother's insistence to immediately fondle grandchildren?”

My body suddenly stiffened, even more tense than before. If for that reason, I may have asked for it a long time ago. But everything else. I just don't want to lose Nadya.

“If only because of that, I can do it,” Nadya paused, her breath was a little hunting. “I can give you a child as a grandson of mama, even without love.”

“Nad—” said I intend to protest out of desperation. That's not why I asked him to fix our relationship.

“Gas, give me a clear reason so I can have the same goal as you.”

Heart's pounding. Feelings of worry and anxiety like being about to express love for the first time, attacked me. I'm like an ABG who just fell in love in the first phase of puberty. The effect made Nadya believe so challenging. I was afraid of rejection.

Until I kept convincing myself, giving support for myself, and telling her that Nadya was my wife. Mine. It doesn't belong to anyone, especially Hansel. No. gabe. Nadya is mine. Call me selfish, please. Nadya's origin remains mine.

I took a big breath out of my mouth. Letting him fill the chest and lung cavity, then diving Nadya's bead deep enough with a sincere highlight from the heart. With full confidence I said, “Because I, love you.” []

^^^to be continued.^^^

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