Wedding Dust's
21. Nadya Ayunda

...Happy Reading......

...Take the positive, throw out the negative, Okey... ⁇ ️...

A week since that sickening incident, I've kept my distance from Bagas. I'm also not so awkward replying to the messages Mr. Hansel sent me.

To be honest I need someone who can understand and understand my current situation, and that person is Hansel, my own boss who never tired of convincing me that I will be comfortable, and my secret is also safe.

Some things I can't tell Bagas, I tell him. Some of the things about our old marriage that I kept almost rotted away, I started to open one by one. Not to Bagas, but to Hansel. He managed to make me comfortable, and of course without Bagas' knowledge.

I know that my behavior is not right, because I can break two ties at once. But Hansel said, as long as we can keep this a secret properly, we'll be fine. And I justify it.

This morning, Mr. Hansel was busy outside the office, not in his place. But he didn't forget to send me a message, ask me what I was doing, or did I eat? Things Bagas often do, also done by Hansel. Questions that seem trivial, but of course have a meaning that means so much to me.

I was having lunch with Tara in the office cafeteria.

I reply to Mr. Hansel, then put the phone back on the table and eat lunch that has been provided by the office.

“Bagas?” tara asked as she sipped her warm tea from the drinking cup.

I don't know what to answer, because it's not Bagas. There's also no way I'd answer Tara openly if it was Hansel. So, I chose silence while raising my shoulders, then grabbed the spoon and put the rice back in my mouth.

“Seriously, both of you why the hell? I don't understand your relationship, Deh!” cerocos Tara was interrupted by her mouth which was busy chewing food. I just talk and pray in my heart so she doesn't choke.

“What's really why? It's been like this a long time, right? You also know what Bagas kayak.”

I saw Tara exhaling quite loudly. Maybe he's tired of seeing us. Especially me?

“Iya, I know. But Bagas is very dear to you Nad. I can see that Bagas is very much in love with you. The way he looks at you, is so different the way he looks at other girls. Including to me, very different.”

I smiled a little. My heart was quite stung to hear the reality that Tara said if Bagas always looked at me with his unfortunately gaze. Maybe just as a friend, Ra. I wanted to say that in front of Tara, but she was definitely in denial and the topic would be widening. I don't like it.

“Waggep only so.”

“Eh? Kok. I'm not lying, Nad. Bagas it—”

“Iya. Ja. Finish eating first. The hunt for lunch hour is over. Eat first gih.” I said, diverting all our talks and succeeding. Tara kept quiet and focused on eating her food. But not with me. The sentence that just slid off Tara's lips, added a load to my brain. Is that really what Tara said? My same love? But I quickly denied, No way.

After nearly thirty minutes of rest, Tara and I decided to go up to the third floor, where we worked. There was still twenty minutes left, Tara held back me who was about to leave her to return to the room.

“Elo is no longer the same as Bagas right?”

I looked into Antara's eyes for a moment, then smiled with my lips slightly opened so that he would believe what I was going to say. “Neg. We are all right.”

I smile again. This time I grabbed Tara's arm and rubbed her. “Lo no need to worry. I'm the same Bagas well kok.”

“Gue love you guys.”

The smile review that framed my lips, disappeared for a moment. I digest the sentence Between, this woman is so sincere when she says so. Then, I pulled back the corner of my lips in doubt to form a smile. “Thanks.”

***

Arriving home, I wiped the smile I had given Tara when we parted at the gate. I was driven home because Bagas sent a message to Tara if she couldn't pick up because her job wasn't done.

Since the fight a week ago, everything Bagas did was like it was useless for me. I just tried to hold on until this second, hoping I could get to the end of our saturation and decided to get back on top.

Bagas sent a message earlier this afternoon, but I ignored him until now. I still don't want to look in the direction where Bagas is trying to pull me back to him. My heart hurts too much. My pride is hurt.

And along the way to the porch, I remembered what Tara had asked me before I decided to go back to the study this afternoon.

Elo looks like the same decker Mr. Hansel.

As it turns out, that question is quite disturbing now.

Does it look so obvious? Or is it that close to us that others can see and interpret it?

I turned the key and opened the door. It was Aroma Bagas who first welcomed my arrival at home who somehow knocked my heart to say if I missed him a little. Bagas' shadow smiled at me, looking so real.

This morning, I left early after preparing all the Bagas needs before leaving for work. Starting from the suit he will wear, breakfast, supplies, and some other things I usually do before Bagas left for work. Except saying goodbye. I skipped that part because I didn't want to see Bagas. And yes, during this week we rarely met face to face. The next morning I decided to get up and leave early, and at night when Bagas got home, I had already slept first.

Putting aside all the thoughts that were not willing to be reconciled, I walked quickly to the room. Self-cleaning will probably make today's burden a little light.

However, the thing I did not expect when I came out of the bathroom was, Bagas was already in the room and was loosening a tie that looked to torture his neck. My heart was pounding in surprise at his presence. I think he's the thief who slipped in.

She smiled, I dodged without retaliating. And I regretted afterwards because Bagas looked disappointed between his tired face. A smile fell on his lips.

I walked to the dresser to apply the cream I used to use after the bath to get fresh again. A second later I turned my head because Bagas' voice greeted my eardrum.

“I bought rice, I put it on the dinner table. Don't cook for dinner. I have a sudden affair.”

Curious. Of course I wanted to scold him with a few questions, but all were stuck in the esophagus, accompanying Bagas's departure to disappear behind the bathroom door. I stared for a long time there, lamenting how my stubborn attitude always understood. Sometimes I ask myself, why is Bagas that strong facing such a stubborn woman like me?

Long enough pensively staring at the clenched door, I changed my position to look back at the reflection of myself in the mirror, along with the sound of gurgling began to sound.

As a wife, Bagas' words sounded vague and I needed a more specific explanatory sentence. Business? What kind of business? With who? Until what time? Related to work? The questions I wanted to ask and could only be held back, made me uneasy. I'm curious. I need to know what he's doing tonight. Yeah, I want to know. And I decided I'd follow him later. []

^^^to be continued.^^^