You Don't Consider Me
3. GOODBYE MOTHER
That small hand that was so smooth that it made my heart slit – sayat for the second time, I should be able to show some constancy in front of the little angel who suffered more from losing Mom than I am who is much more mature. I saw her innocent little face was sad to lose the only – Mommy in her life.
“Lisa, look Brother now. You are patient Dek, there are still Brother and Father who are always there for you.” Speak to myself in a slow tone of voice and whisper a little to my sister who sits beside me so that no one can hear around.
Her face was so sad and her body looked so limp, Lisa only nodded – nods at me while wiping the tears from earlier flowing very fast without stopping.
“Why wear school uniform Lis?” I asked in a still slow voice.
Lisa looked back at my face and answered. “I have Kak exam, Akhir School Exam (UAS). So Lisa can't help but enter, even though Mom died.”
“You did not enter nor did it matter Lis, later Big Brother will inform your homeroom. Insyallah the school will understand our situation.” I sat down with sadness.
“Lisa doesn't want her own exams, sister. Lisa doesn't want a follow-up exam, alone.” Lisa Cetus.
I smile at my brother's innocence right now, which can comfort me a little. “Yes already, Brother will not give word to your homeroom. You can whisper the Deck, which is patient, baby. Do everything you can, don't push yourself too much.” I said to strengthen my sister now.
“Lianah.” Call one of my family who is still sitting in front of the body of my beloved mother.
I immediately looked towards the direction and stood towards the direction of the sound. “What's up?” Ask slowly.
“Nduk, your father is still unconscious and all this process takes a fee and other kinds of –. We are related to you directly yes, your grandmother also can not be coordinated.” Answer one of my neighbors.
I nodded and gave a million rupiah worth of money to all the necessary needs now in order to run well.
The neighbor explained all the needs, ranging from cotton to the needs later in the afternoon. I just nodded – nods as a sign of understanding what he told me. There are still many good people who want to help us without being asked first. I'm so grateful for all that.
Not waiting long, my mother's body was down to the mosque to be sholated. I could only cry while hugging my helpless Brother right now.
We saw the body of Mother who was under by everyone heading to the mosque, I looked at the green coffin without any fear in my mind. “Yes Allah, if this is your will then give us a family of strength to face all this. Losing a loved one is not a young thing in our lives, let alone Mother is a very meaningful person in every step of life we live. Forgive the sins of the Mother of God, accept all her deeds of goodness, lay down her grave, love her as she loved me so much as a child, give heaven as her final resting place.” I said in my heart while continuing to see the increasingly longer coffins disappear from view.
The voice in the mosque sounded so clear, the Imam asked all the worshippers who participated mensholati my mother related to him a good person or not. Thankfully, all the worshippers in the mosque declared and witnessed that my mother was a good person. May this be a good prayer for you, ma'am.
Although in the kitchen there are still many families and neighbors who are busy cooking but this heart feels so lonely. I could only fall asleep in my room next to my mother's picture. I looked at the photo while crying and crying nonstop, I finally fell asleep while crying.
After waking up from my sleep, I cried again and saw a picture of my mother and then fell asleep again. And so on, which I experienced. It felt like there was no strength back then to me, the sound of crying was also heard so clearly from my parents' room.
The sound of the cry of the Father that had not stopped because he was unable and able to lose his beloved wife.
I am no longer able to do anything right now, even though the future-in-law has come home. My body was already very weak and unable to meet him, I could only in the room endure all this sadness. Luckily for me, my future-in-law and my fiancee understood my condition and helped with all the affairs at home.
Time has shown at one o'clock in the afternoon and my brother has come home from school with a face that is still limp, I am sure that my sister through today is not much different from me. “Lisa, here Dek.” I screamed in the room when I heard my sister's voice coming into the house.
Lisa came to me and laid her body beside me, saying. “I miss Mother Brother Lianah. I want to be with Mom.”
I immediately hugged my sister at that moment by holding back the cry that from earlier could not stop. “Don't talk like that Lis, pity Mom. Later in the afternoon we go to Mother's grave, now you rest in Brother's room only.” My words that try to entertain my sister are just puppets.
Lisa just fell silent beside me crying softly and hugging Mom's photo.
Time passed so quickly and the sorepun arrived, my sister and I went to our mother's grave. With all our might we endured the cries and only prayed for the happiness of the Mother who had left us in this mortal realm.
Our prayer chants read to get to Mom, hopefully our prayers as a child – his son can directly reach him. Indeed, after the departure of our Mother, there is no day without sorrow and new hope. Only sadness and regret exist, because it has not been able to be a devoted child to both parents.
“Bu, forgive Lianah for not being able to make Mom happy but insyallah Lianah will be a good lecturer as Mother wishes for me and try as hard as possible to lecture Adik later. So that the desire of the mother can be achieved to see her two children succeed.” I said in front of Mom's grave after praying to her.
I saw my sister speaking so quietly, where she apologized for the mistake made and did not obey Mother. Soon I embrace my Brother, my flesh and blood, the only –-year-old sister in my life to be calm and strengthen herself.
We immediately went home, having been satisfied at Mother's grave. However, upon arrival at home there were some people I did not know. They looked at me with a less than pleasant look. There was a suudzon feeling in my heart when I saw them but seeing the condition of my little sister who was very weak, I ignored them and immediately headed for the room to rest.
There's a rumour I heard from the front. “This is all because of your eldest son, try he is not close to that person.” Said one of – men I did not know but made me more nervous and began to think like – kind of heard it.