You Don't Consider Me
5. PRAYERS FOR MOM

The suspicion that Bibik Ninih believed even though I explained it at length, it would not just disappear in his mind now. Moreover, the sense of loss is unacceptable and people who are considered smart say that all this is unnatural.

I think my whole family will think the same as what Bibik Ninih is doing right now. Free if I talk at length to them, I better save my energy for something else and better.

“Yes, Auntie back to the kitchen. Want to prepare for needs later tonight here.” Said Bibik Ninih who then left me and Lisa.

I looked at the face of my Brother who had been silent since last listening to our conversation, afraid he thought strange – strange related to our conversation just now. “Dek, you heard all the talk of Brother and Bibik Ninih. What do you think?” I ask who wants to understand how my sister's mindset is now.

Lisa smiled faintly and looked back at my face then answered my question just now. “I think, what Bibik Ninih said there is a point also Kak. Looks like there are – people who do not like our family, what else Brother has just received a job as a lecturer. There could be people who are shirked over all the favors we get so far.”

I looked closely at my sister's face which was still very innocent. “What you think is not wrong Deck, but it would be better if we have to think clearly because Lisa is a student who understands science and especially Islamic religious education. We must be sure that everything in this world is predestined by God, including soul mate, death, and sustenance. Mother died by the will of God so we do not need to find out more, why can this and so. Why can my sister think that? Because if we knew then there would be a sense of vengeance on someone we ourselves do not know the truth. And if it is true that he is the one who made Mother wretched, then what did Brother say earlier. No need we do a strange – strange on the person, enough we pray for our Mother and family to avoid all bad things.” I have a long word with my beloved sister.

“But Brother, actually magic exists. Lisa knows it.” Lisa told me.

I took a breath for a moment. “Magic is true but we do not need to grow – Deck. If we are afraid, the greater the magic, remember there is a God who is always there for us. Read Al – Qur’an and plead safety to her, insyallah not aka tone magic or what – what others Lis.” Cetusku back to my sister just so that she does not think strange – strange.

Lisa just nodded listening to my explanation just now and began to lay her body on my bed and try to calm her mind. Likewise with me now who actually can not face all this if you want to say.

I fell asleep for a while and woke up when the adzan maghirb was reverberating, a very clear voice in my ears now seems to force me to recall the memory of – memory when my mother was about to leave us for the last time in the circumstances as it is now.

“Yes Allah, give the servant patience to face all this.” I said while taking a deep breath and invited my sister to pray Maghrib congregation.

Regular activities starting tonight I will do with other families until forty days my mother, which is sending prayers by reading yasin and tahlil together – the same. I am so grateful, all the family came to pray for my mother and so did the neighbors around the house.

Deep gratitude I cannot deny now because there are still many people who care about us, especially my fiancee who came far – far from the village sebrang to join send prayers for my mother at home.

“Dek, the patient. Inshallah, I'm solemn khotimah. Let's continue to pray for Mother to be forgiven her sin, received her charity and died in a state of khusnul khotimah.” Say my fiancee now.

Her smiling face and not showing any sense of burdening at all made me feel a little relieved at that moment. “Nothing – what Deck, whatever the result of family negotiations later. I will always accept, especially now is not the time to think about my feelings. The most important thing is you first yes.” Said my fiancee who always understood my condition.

After a little chat – talk with my fiance, I started mingling with family at home. Maybe I seem to be more silent than talking to them, as well as my younger brother who is more moody and chooses to go to the room to study so that tomorrow can work on the National Final Examination (UAN).

I looked towards my sister who went to her room. “Where to Dek?” Ask her.

“Ke room Brother, want to learn for tomorrow.” My sister answered so briefly, densely and clearly.

Think of what I gave my sister as a sign of what she wants to do now. Arrived – arrived, there was a conversation that I did not feel good when mingling with the big family Mother after the departure of my sister to the room.

“You should pray a lot for your mother, remember that this is all happening because of you.” Said one of the auntie to me while showing her angry face.

When I was about to answer, Bibik Ninih immediately gave instructions not to respond to the words just now. “Of course my father will always pray for his mother even without being asked, like anyone, correct Lianah?” Said Bibik Ninih who immediately responded to the speech.

I just nodded while looking at Bibik Ninih just now. “I'm sure that – people here believe that the death that happened to my mother was caused by me. Though there is no intention even the thought alone is not to do bad things to my mother, let alone kill her. If it could be asked, I would be willing to replace it but this is all God's destiny. I can't say anything more.” I said in my heart to see everything that had happened.

“If you have the fiancee, do not be near – close to men – other men, if the person has hurt it anything will be done to relieve the pain.” Cetus was one of my neighbors.

The voice just now instantly made me a little emotional then with a red face, I immediately replied to the remark. “Means how, who is near – close to men – other men. Please say it's guarded.” My words are emotional.

“If not close to another male –, yes do not spread the charm. Boy – the man if given the fish will want, different story if the woman is silent.” It made me feel more emotional.

I immediately stood up to see the person and Bibik Ninih came straight to me to ease my emotions this time. “Sabar Deck, so we're all gathered here to pray for your Mom yes Dek. There is no intention of – people to impale – to mock anyone or blame anyone here. Insyallah no one has bad intentions here.” Said Bibik Ninih who I think slightly insinuated those who made me emotional since then.