You Don't Consider Me
7. MY SORCERER
Time went on for so long, I could only close my eyes even though all the talk sounded so clear it reached my room. I turned my body to the right so that I could fall asleep even for a while, but a few minutes later I turned my body back to the left so that this body could rest because I had been lacking enough rest.
But the result is nil and no results at all, this body does not want to be invited to rest because there is always a shadow that reminds me of the memories with Mom all this time, all of them appeared one by one without me being able to slough off in the slightest in this heart. I again covered my face with my red blanket, I tried to slow down my voice that was crying without anyone knowing, maybe by crying can reduce a little burden that stuck in the heart. However, this sound of crying was trying to keep me from even making a sound by shutting my mouth so that my sister who was sleeping next door would not know about it, because there is no intention in me to show my sadness to anyone, especially family members.
Immediately I woke up from my sleep and opened the laptop to busy my mind so far from the word sad and bad. I opened some articles in plain sight by logging in using my account, I immediately write one by one plagiarization of the writing there because of my duties as editor in chef in one of the campus journals so that I can do the task that will have to be completed because it must be published according to the date determined.
One by one account that sent articles to be able to publish began I reply to revise either minor or major and some were directly forwarded to the reviewer. Everything I did then and there until the assignment for the editor in my journal. I don't know how long I've been engrossed with the laptop in front of me and all the tasks in sight until there's a soft sound from behind me.
“Kak, so to Mother's grave?” Ask my sister who woke me from the busyness in front of my eyes.
I immediately looked towards my dear Brother while forcing a small smile on my face at this moment. “Of course so Dek, now you are ready – just ready first. After that new Brother yes, this Sister is still working on assignments from campus.”
My sister nodded and immediately stood up then took a towel for herself to prepare while I was again preoccupied with the task on the laptop that is in front of me now. After, my sister and I prepared so we went to the tomb without inviting anyone to come along.
Arriving there we simultaneously gave greetings to the residents in our village cemetery. “Assalamualaikum yes gravedigger.” Our words are certainly not getting a reply or maybe in reply but we can not hear it.
Soon my sister and I walked to our mother's grave, where as usual we began to recite yasin and tahlil. Surely I lead my sister to pray that Mother who has gone to leave us with her body but I am sure that Mother is always with us whenever and wherever.
After praying, I saw my sister bow her face and look at Mother's grave without speaking a word. There may be a deep sense of regret in my sister's mind for not being able to be by my mother's side one last time.
My sister fell silent without a word and her eyes looked blank staring at my mother's grave with slow tears – slowly more and more rapidly drenching her face so smooth. Without any direction, I hugged my sister and rubbed her shoulders so she could calm down a little.
“We pray that Mom is happier there ya Dek.” I said softly near his ear.
My sister was just silent while looking at me, we were there long enough and without any talk but just calm down next to my mother's grave so that our hearts could be a little calm.
Yes, just a little calm but have not been able to reduce the sadness at this time especially the figure of the Father who should be able to strengthen us now even worse and not talk to me at all after Mother died. I feel alone with my sister in the face of all our grief, I don't think anyone knows and can understand how I feel.
“Assalamualaikum. Wb.” Greetings to my brother when I get to the front of the house
Some people saw us and answered my greetings just now. “Waalaikum greetings wr. Wb.”
“Sign in to the room only Deck, let Brother here meet the guests.” I told my sister to go straight to her room.
“Bapak and Ibu Docent, thank you for taking the time to visit home.” Cetusku while giving mineral water to the guests who come.
They were all trying to show me a faint smile in front of me from looking at my current condition. “Bu, who is patient yes. We all mourn the passing of your parents, insyallah he is a good person. May all his acts of worship be accepted, all his sins forgiven, died in a state of solemn khotimah, and those left behind also steadfastly face all these trials.” Said one of my colleagues on campus who represents everyone.
“Aamiin.” Answer us simultaneously.
One of my lecturers came to me sitting in the corner. “Bu, what pain does his mother have?” Ask in a slow voice.
I took a long breath and looked at my friend's face. “Health complications Bu.” I answered briefly while enduring the pain I had felt.
“Sabar ya Bu, insyallah your Mother is happier in the side of God and if compared to living in this world that causes Mother Bu Lianah sick then God prefers to invite her. God loves your parents more, Mom, once again. Patience.” He was trying to comfort me who was sad.
I hold my cry but the tears still flow without being able to contain it now, as if – if the dam I built was firmly broken and could not hold the volume of water in it. “Crying only Mom, it's okay – what. That's better when compared to Mother holding everything herself.” He hugged me at that moment.
After this broken cry passed, I showed a thin smile that adorned my face so that – friends on campus did not grieve to see my condition that had fallen. “Please drink and enjoy your snacks Father and Mother, sorry sober.” I said in a loud voice from crying since.
Indeed in this life all will return to the creator, there is no one except in this world. Including all of us will still face the kholiq and just wait for his turn.
This time, there is indeed sadness in Lianah's heart as a child abandoned by her mother even though she knows that all this is God's destiny. Sincere but have not been able to forget the figure of Mother who is very meritorious in her life.