CUTS
MAIL...

To the woman I so desperately wanted to make a wife.

I have been here almost a year and met you. I always watch you when you realize. When late Eko proposed to your friend, I wish I could do it too. With the support of colleagues in the post, I ventured to propose to both of your parents. But my fate is not as good as that of the late Eko. He was accepted easily even though they were separated before being together. But I was rejected. Between sad and funny when I see you reject my proposal with sharp eyes as if I were the person you hate the most. I apologize if any of my actions hurt your heart. I am here because of a duty I have to fulfill. I wish I could take you to my house but it seems like this is just going to be wishful thinking. May we be fooled, that prayer which I always pray. The bag and its contents are a memento of mine for you. My term of duty is coming to an end next week, I am making the best use of my time as long as you are here to be close to you. Cut Zulaikha, I love you with all my heart, may you always be in the protection of Allah SWT. You are the greatest woman I have ever met. Be careful after my return. Never go alone. I will also miss Teuku, educate him well and never let him follow in his father's footsteps. He deserves a better life. Actually I wanted to add my name to him but I am ashamed, I have no right to it.

I will end this letter, may you be happy. If one day you miss me, look at the photo in the book.

Assalamualaik...

***

She wants to go on what's with my feelings? Don't I not care? Why think of him now? Various questions came to my mind, my chest also came back crowded. I folded the letter and put it in the book. I also saw a picture of Rendra in plain clothes. He was wearing a grey t-shirt and trousers smiling at the camera.

Even though in ordinary clothes the side of a soldier is clearly very attached to him. His field body accompanied by the burly muscles typical of the army really makes him very handsome. Am I starting to like it now? God, I forgot I was in this guy's arms.

Why is my face suddenly hot and my heart is racing? Is this what Miftah feels? Ah, Miftah hasn't told me what it's like.

I closed the book and put it in the bag as soon as Abu and Umi came in. After the prayer, Abu and Umi went to sleep. But what happened to me tonight? I can't sleep, all about him dancing in my head.

The next day...

"Cut, are you sick?" Ask Umi when making the bed.

"No, Umi. Just last night Cut couldn't sleep."

"Your gate has taken its own course means that it is ready to accept the risk. Don't you think about it anymore. Come on, we'll be taking the body soon.

Our door opened, again the man came. But why do I feel pain in my chest this time. What is this feeling? Why was it when I saw it that I felt this cold hot?

"Come, Sir, Buk, Cut. The car is waiting."

Abu and Umi walk hand in hand following Rendra. I walked behind Abu and Umi while thinking about my uncertain feelings.

A few minutes later, the car we were driving reached the hospital. "Mom and Umi please follow my colleague to the morgue." Abu and Umi went to follow Rendra's colleague and asked a lot. "Come, we'll get Teuku!" I nodded small.

I kept sitting down while walking beside him. I am ashamed to remember the incident that just happened in the hospital corridor after the departure of Abu and Umi. I who was walking behind Rendra looked down suddenly hit the man's back. I'm sure he deliberately stopped suddenly when he saw her smile.

"The road is beside me!" Rendra danced my hand to her side. "Not mahram." I said as I let go of his hand.

I no longer answer. "Where's book? You likey? Or would you rather see my face?" What kind of question is that? Why is he like this? Is it really like this? Why do I like it? God, don't let me like this guy.

We reached the nursery, a nurse took Teuku out. "This is exactly what Mr. Rendra asked for." A male nurse came out behind the nurse and handed Rendra a large bag. The milk and the clothes are all complete, right?" Ask Rendra.

"Yes, Sir. It's all complete." Answer the nurse. A colleague of Rendra came after us. "Suster give Teuku to me!" The nurse handed Teuku over to Rendra and nodded slowly at her new comrade.

Czechoslovak...

Apparently Rendra asked to be photographed with Teuku. Does he like kids very much? Ah, I don't care. "The commander is like a family photo." Said the photographer who made me realize that the photo was the three of us not just him and Teuku. I looked at him and he replied with a smile. "Let's be fair, you have my photo but I don't have your photo." Said Rendra with a little closer to my face and...

Czechoslovak...

"Well, this is so romantic, Dan."

Again I was in their camera shot. Rendra's colleague grabbed the bag and walked behind us. I know if he's secretly still taking our pictures.

"Teuku Rendra Muhammad Nur, from now on your name is Teuku Rendra Muhammad Nur, yes! Rendra's calling." Rendra continued to talk to Teuku and strangely Teuku also looked comfortable in the man's arms.

"If you want to join Om, we will definitely not be separated, but baby, your daughter is a little shy to reciprocate Om's feelings. Om wants you to grow big and happy. If close, Om will often visit you but we have to separate when we just met. Hurry up big so you can take care of grandma, grandpa is also your aunt who is very beautiful. Take care of the aunt of any man who approaches her, okay. Tell them if Auntie has Rendra can't be with the other."

I just kept quiet to hear what Rendra said to Teuku. I feel Rendra is conveying her heart through Teuku for me. Once in a while Teuku laughed like a baby, he responded to all of Rendra's words with his hands always on Rendra's face.

"There are books about taking care of the baby as well as handling the baby if he is fussy or sick. You can read everything. How to make milk is also inside. I do not know the milk will be enough for how long, if the milk runs out you and the circumstances do not allow to go to the sub-district you can give it sharp water." I looked at him not understanding and he clearly knew the meaning of my gaze.

Czechoslovak...

The camera behind me. "Tajin water, water when you cook rice. Is there water when the rice cooks? Well, the water is a good substitute for milk especially you in the village do not use pesticides on rice so the rice is certainly safe not exposed to chemicals." I have a sign of understanding.

Degs...

***

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