CUTS
One-third Night...

“Yes Rabbi, only to You the servant begs and asks. Give your guidance so that the servant does not step wrong. Allah is the All-Knower of what is to come. Servant leave life and death only to You the creator. If Rendra is the soul mate you choose for the servant. So bring us close and if not keep us well and eliminate all feelings in the heart of the servant.”

It has been three nights since Rendra's arrival, I offer the same prayer after Istikharah circumcision. That afternoon, I suspended their expected response for 7 days.

“Abu, Umi, Bang Rendra, Cut request time for 7 days. Cut wants istikharah and God willing Cut's heart is more ready and confident with blessings and guidance from God. Cut hoped that Bang Rendra would also perform Istikharah prayer so that what you aspire to is the path of God is not a mere satanic trickery. How are Abu, Umi and Bang Rendra?”

They agreed to my wish. Tonight is the third night I perform Istikharah circumcision prayer with almost the same prayer every night. Prayers are given guidance in making this big decision.

I don't know Bang Rendra or his family. Later, if we get married, I will be taken to Java. A place very far away from my home, the land of my birth and where I grew up to be a girl ready to be betrothed.

I was hesitating, worried, all like a vehicle going back and forth on the highway. There are so many things I think about. The old man whose life is not necessarily safe, the life there that I never knew. All of these thoughts were growing in the head. Want to scream but what power.

“Yes Rabbi, calm the heart and mind of the servant. This head feels like it's about to break. It's been three nights, I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. O Allah, forgive the sins of the servants. A contemptible being who constantly complains to You. However, what the power of a mere servant of a weak human was again lost direction. Only to You where the servant begs for all the troubles of the servant.”

“Allahummashalliala saidina wamaulana Muhammad.”

Three nights I had been up in one third of the night to perform Istikharah prayers and tahajud prayers. Asking for clues but no sign yet that my soul mate is Bang Rendra.

Umi said if the clue could be a dream or our hearts are increasingly attached to him. But that dream never came. While the heart is still in a state of worry.

Every morning I wake up early because after the evening prayer I can never sleep again. Abu and Umi were surprised when I found out I was cooking in the kitchen after dawn prayers.

Abu and Umi miss their village very much. Every day they ask each other the news of their beloved village. How's the mulan doing? How are their fields, their fields, their livestock? Are there any more attacks on their villages? Is the mulan still around? And all sorts of questions kept coming out of their mouths.

Sometimes I like to dream. If, Bang Ilham did not match me to Khalid or if Bang Ilham was not a rebel and Rendra did not like me. Are we still able to live quietly in Sagoe village?

Ah.. nobody knows.

***

AUTHOR POV...

At the time Cut was still in doubt within three days of the deferred deadline. A man also goes through anxiety which is quite mind draining. Of all the tactics that must be considered to catch the rebels, especially Khalid, he also had to wrestle with a large family far away on the island of Java.

His decision to marry the girl of his dreams was hampered by his blessing when his parents found out that their son's chosen girl was uneducated.

“How can she be a good mother to your children if SD alone does not end. Not to mention her role as a first lady, what you have to say to our relatives and the people who know us about your wife who did not finish elementary school. Rendra, I can find another girl here who is more worthy to be your wife. They are also pretty-beautiful not inferior to the girl.”

The breath felt heavy as the words continued to ring in the ears. “Bu, Rendra has seen for herself how she takes care of her baby niece. Even if he's not in high school but he knows his manners and religion well. Is that not enough? Rendra did not need a highly educated wife. Rendra's wife is quite a good and loyal wife because Rendra will stay on duty as well.”

Delicately pleading also comes out of the mouth of the son. “Partially if only a diploma, later he can take the exam package there.” A heavy sigh was heard at the end of the phone.

“Ya, already. We need time to talk to our extended family.” Sela the Father is behind the phone.

“Thank you, Sir, Buk. Rendra waited for his answer. Assalmualaikum.”.

“Walaikumsalam..”

Tuttt....

The face is not yet fully bright, there is still a little anger. Rendra awaits two answers from the two most loved people in her life. Meanwhile, he continued to perform the prayer of istikharah as requested by his lover.

Dum..dum...

“Dan... no attack...”.

The sound of the door's pounding blew his daydream in the middle of the night. Rendra came out followed by the personnel who were circulating the door. They walked towards the radio room to communicate with the related post.

Abdi state, ready not to be ready must always be ready whenever needed. All his thoughts about the future, wife, family were lost in an instant when the state needed his concentration in pursuing the enemy.

That's how Rendra is with his troops. That night after getting direction from superiors, he went to the field of roles with others. There are lives they must save. Friends of one of the professions in the military post of one of the villages close to the hilly area are being attacked.

From the radio channel they confirmed that there were some who were killed as well as many who were injured.

The attack this time was clearly surprising because after the night of the attack to the village of Tanjung who managed to find Cut with Rendra small. Just this time the army post was again attacked in the area.

“All ready?”

“Ready!”

“Pray according to their respective religion! Start!”

The TNI truck motorcade runs down a deserted street in the middle of the night. They stared at each other in the hope of returning safely.

***

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