CUTS
You When???

CUT POV...

The days I spent today reminded me of the life in the village. The wheel of life I am experiencing now is like not moving with time. Abu and Umi took care of me very closely even more impressed like being locked up. I who used to be able to go places, teach even work now, all are gone like I was lost from their lives almost a year ago.

Shophouse is my world now. The place where I spend my days here. My job is to help Abu sell with Mae. Sometimes I play with Rendra who is getting bigger.

My disappearance from their lives left a deep trauma. That's why they kept me out of the shophouse. The smiles of my parents may be wide but their hearts continue to fidget at my fate.

Mr. Cek Amir and Mak Cek Siti also participated in preventing me from traveling. Even to enjoy a plate of noodles at the nearest stall I can't. Every time I want something, Mae always buys it except for things that concern women. Umi or Intan will help me to buy it.

A prison without a fence is not always sad. My days are filled with selling. As if he understood or got advice from Doctor Widia who had been by my side. Abu made a table in front of the shophouse and then asked me to sell cakes, noodles and rice packs in the morning.

My days are no longer spent in vain. I'm excited to wait for tomorrow with all the cookies I've made. The busy days passed so quickly for me.

The small table now increases with a glass shelf beside it. The cakes I used to make with Umi also increased with cakes placed by others. I get busy until my sleeping hours are less because when others are asleep I actually wake up to cook.

At 3am I woke up with Mae's help. In terms of salary, I also provide a salary that is in accordance with his work. A few months on, he's getting better at making cakes. Umi taught him painstakingly considering he was a boy.

He managed to make several cakes such as bakwan, Bingkang, bada to timphan. At 9pm in our shophouse it was deserted. The shophouse dwellers have all fallen asleep. I can pay Abu a loan to buy a refrigerator from the sale of cakes and morning rice. I also make various flavored ice candles as well as ice cubes.

Several soldiers are still seen in the market area. They also often buy my food. I serve them just like everyone else. No more excruciating fear in the heart. I've tried to live without contact with them or the rebels.

As for Khalid, I never met him again after we parted ways while riding separate rickshaws back then. I only sell until 10 a.m. After that I will help Umi cook or record whatever I need for tomorrow. The thing I am very grateful for is my residence which is inside the market area so I do not need long to shop. I just need to go to the store next door or the store next door.

Some items such as banana leaves or bananas are even directly delivered to the store by the seller because I have become their regular customer.

“I like you!”

“Abang likes you!”

“Are you willing to be Brother's wife?”

Those words are inevitable as long as my status is still single. Beetles come to change. Sometimes they just go to the flowers. Sometimes, they stay on the branches. All the Ashes received well however, the final decision has always been my right.

For the last six months I've been so busy making me forget how sweet it feels.

“You are fit to be wife.”

Fish merchant men, vegetable traders, children of grocery merchants, civil servants and even soldiers. But, what's holding me back?

The answer doesn't exist. No one can hold back their feelings as well as mine.

Abu and Umi did not force me to accept them. Remember what happened to Razi and Ridwan. Abu and Umi are very careful as well as I am. It was enough, I saw people die from being close to me. Like a disease, I was the girl they had to avoid but one's feelings could not be directed as one's will was.

How's my?

Is my feeling okay?

I don't know. That's my answer.

“Cut, I'm engaged. You when?”

“Cut, don't reject them. Parents say if we reject 3 men then after that we will be difficult to get a mate.”

Questions and advice by addressing the names of the sepuh who out of nowhere comes always come to me. Such questions further damage the eardrum when I have to attend the engagement, the engagement, marriage or descent of children of market inhabitants.

Not just me but my parents should also hear that question. Different from Mae. He had the additional duty of several people to deliver their letters to me.

“How much do you get to deliver their mail?” I ask her every time she hands me a letter out of nowhere.

Smiling, he answered. “Lumayan Kak Cut to buy snacks. But Mae didn't ask. They love themselves. Sustenance cannot be refused.”

“Ya..yes...yes..”.

I ignored the letter. “Why? Would you like to read it?” I asked when I saw Mae staring at the letter.

“Bby, Brother Cut? All Mae wants to learn who knows later Mae will send a letter also to the girl Mae likes.”

“Open it! But remember, if you like the same women should say the same Abu and Umi yes!”

“Yes, Brother Cut. Mae open yes?”

As fast as lightning Mae opened and read the letter full of appreciation. I smiled and looked at his expression. All this time, he had always given letters from various men out there. If he knows the man then he will tell who the owner of the letter is complete with his family's biodata. For the first time, he was curious about the letter.

“Kak Cut, Mae's letter put where?”

“Have you finished reading it? Hows it? What do you think?”

“Less interesting. The guy is handsome but the contents of the letter are not like his face.”

“What is the content of the letter?”

“She asked Kak Cut to get married. If he is a man should come directly here to meet with Abu and Umi instead of writing by letter.” I smiled a little at his words.

“You ripped it small and then put it in the trash can ya!” my word.

“Iya.”

That's how Mae is a teenager. If you go to school, you may be in high school. However, he did not want to go to school for reasons better selling. He wanted to raise money and open his own shop following Abu's lead.

“Hmm...Brother Cut...” call him hesitant.

“What?”

“Kak Cut waiting Bang Rendra yes?”

Degs...

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