CUTS
GASEH...

"Oh my God, what is this, Cut?" Umi was surprised to see the number of photos and what surprised me more was the photo from the camera shot of Rendra's colleagues while in the hospital.

"Cut, burn all these pictures! Umi has lost Ilham, Umi does not want to lose you back. If the rebels find this photo then you and our family will be killed. They must have thought if you had any connection with that soldier. Umi's not ready to see you end up like the late Mifah." Umi sobbed while hugging Teuku.

"What's this?" Abu came into the room and he was also surprised to see the things lying on my bed. I took the pictures under my pillow. Not afraid but embarrassed if Abu saw a picture of me and Rendra.

"Who gave it?" Ask Abu.

"Friend Mr. Rendra was here to take this." My answer.

Abu sighed, "May Allah repay his kindness. He gave this to this orphan. God willing, wherever he is in charge God will take care of him. Even his parents could not give their best to their children." There was a clear stroke of disappointment on Abu's face before Abu finally opted out of my room.

"Do you like it, Cut?" Umi looked at me fixedly with tears that had not dried on her face.

"I don't know, Umi." Umi sighed when she heard my answer and came out holding Teuku. What can I tell Umi? L like? I don't know what I feel myself. If there were still Miftah, of course I would ask what it feels like to like a man.

His face was handsome with a fair complexion and .. That's all I dare say. The rest of me was also confused as to how to describe his face clearly. But what made me think of her a little bit was her nature and mannerism when I was close to me and .. yes, I almost forgot the first kiss I felt even if only a glance.

I woke up and immediately took the photos I had tucked under the pillow. I hope they don't take pictures when Rendra does. My face flushed, my eyes perfectly rounded when I saw some of the photos taken while Rendra was doing that. Luckily Abu didn't get to see these pictures. I remembered Umi's words about the existence of this photo that could have a bad impact on my family.

My feelings were uncertain between burning this photo or keeping it. I can't lie if these pictures have caught my attention. Finally, I chose some photos that I found embarrassing if I saw them burning.

Photos that I think contain sin in which I myself have sinned for receiving the kiss of a man who is not a mahram. I put some of the photos in an envelope while the other photo I put a small plastic bag greeting and then dug the ground in my room using a small hoe. I buried the photo but I left one of the first photos that Rendra loved. Photos of him in free clothes are certainly not too dangerous.

"What are you burning, Cut?" I wonder, what should I answer? There's no way I'm lying to Abu. "Photo, Ash."

"What photo?"

"Picture of Cut taking Teuku at the hospital. There's Mr. Rendra in it, it's better not to keep it, Abu." I'm not lying just that I didn't explain in detail. Abu nodded and left me in the kitchen.

It's been a lot of night in my village tonight. It turned out that the soldiers were performing a farewell ritual. Teuku had already slept with Umi and Abu. I went back to look at the new books that Rendra loved. There was one book that caught my attention because it was not a book but a novel.

To the most beautiful woman I want to marry...

How you doing, Cut? I haven't seen you in a week, I really miss you. I hope this is not my last letter to you. There are two things that allow us to meet again. First, Aceh was immediately peaceful and I was able to go there with both parents to propose to you. The second, I hope that if my forward battalion is sent back there, hopefully I will be re-located in your area even if that rarely happens. My final goal of both hopes is that one day we can be together in the marriage bond coupled with the presence of the little Rendra that I so long for. How's the novel, do you like it? That angel is you, I was immediately interested when I saw the title. 'That Angel You' is perfect for the woman I miss. Hope you miss me too. Now that we're even, I've printed a lot of our photos and you already have them. If you miss me, look at my photo! I hope you save the photo and then you show it to Rendra. Introduce me to him. I love him as much as I love you. The day after tomorrow we will go to the port. Pray that we meet again! I'm sure if we are a match because every time I pray to be a match with you. I want to go back to where I came from, don't cry and pray for me.

See you, and the best wishes are always to you.

Stay careful, yeah!

Assalamualaik...

I folded the paper and put it in a novel I hadn't read. What am I feeling right now? I don't know, I don't know how I feel about her.

1 year later.....

How is Aceh Lon Gaseh? The answer is still the same. Aceh is still plagued by conflict that will not end when. How's Rendra doing? It's been a year since we parted, does she still remember me? Then the answer is no. He sent me a letter twice. He said that he misses little Rendra very much. He sent the letter two weeks after he arrived in his area. A month later he sent me a letter.

I never replied to her, even though the soldier who delivered the letter always said that if I wanted to reply, I could give it to her. I can't possibly reply to Rendra's letter with my uncertain regional condition. Maybe my family was targeted by the rebels because it was thought to be a government spy.

Abu always said that after my brother died, the rebels could have harmed us. If they hadn't been able to do it because my brother is the leader. Now there's nothing else for the rebels to fear because my brother is dead.

"Aceh lon gaseh, saban uroe lon roe ie eyes..." My mind looked at Teuku Rendra Muhammad Nur.

***

*Aceh lon gaseh, saban uroe lon roe ie eyes \= dear Aceh, every day I cry.

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