From: Sacrifice Of Ilyas
Confusing Feelings (Icha Story)

That afternoon, we waited for Ita to discuss something with Ilyas. Long wait he finally came out running in front of me with a breath of excitement. After that, he talked to me.

"I'll say as a good friend to you Icha.... Huh... Hah.." said Ita ngos-ngosan.

"What's Ita ?" ask her.

After calming himself down, Ita looked at me with a serious look and stood before me.

"You're just an official with Ilyas, aren't you ?" ask Ita to me.

The question left me in shock. Although my heart beats a little because of it, I answer his question.

"Yes, Ilyas is just my best friend" I replied to Ita.

"Are you sure ?" tanya Ita convinced me.

"Well, we're nothing more than friends" I said sure of him.

"Then I'll take it from you my way. After all, I sincerely love her" Ita said firmly and surprised me.

For some reason, when Ita said that my feelings were a little painful.

"You already have Joseph, right ?. So at least help me to convince her" Ita said begging me.

I don't know why I can't answer it. But looking at Kak Kiki's expression, he instead looked towards Yusuf and shook his head. I don't know what that means.

"You take care of yourself, I'll go home with Rahman. Baby, come home" Kak Kiki said as she pulled Kak Rahman.

But I still kept petrifying there. Honestly, I wanted to help her, but, my mouth said something else. This feeling cannot be honest.

"I'm sorry... Looks like you're gonna have to try it yourself. Because..." I don't know why my mouth said no to him.

It looked at me annoyed at my answer.

"sorry, I can't answer it" finally it's all that came out of my mouth.

Ita sighed and whispered to me.

“Better Icha try to think again. What you really want from your heart is” whispered to me.

After that Ita left me. I turned my gaze to Joseph and he just lowered his head and said to me.

"i'll take you home. Ayok, it's getting late" said Yusuf as he left me for the parking lot.

I was thinking, What really happened ?.

                                                                                                    ...*****...

In Kos-kosan, Yusuf put on his shirt after taking a bath because of the rain. da was not aware I got a picture of me with Ilyas when we were at PBAK (Introduction of Academic and Student Culture). I remember seeing Ilyas sitting alone. He was shunned by another Maba(New Student). But when approaching him, it turns out he gave food to sekor Street cat.

“Makannya slowly aja yaa ?, later sprained lho” said Ilyas on the cat.

Not wanting to disturb him, I just looked at him from behind and greeted him. But….

“kasian yaa, you are no more like me. We are thrown out by our own mother, and start to be independent in our own way. I hope to get happiness on this campus” continued Ilyas speaking.

His words made me realize that everyone has their own problems. At first I was very nervous to go to college and live in a college world like this. But after hearing his words, my heart was very happy.

“what are you doing yourself there ?” ask her.

Ilyas who saw me at that moment was confused and said to me.

“Who are you ?. I don't seem to know you” asked me a little offended.

“you won't know me if we're not familiar right?” ask her.

I held and pulled his hand while walking in the direction determined by the HMJ Student for PBAK.

“Come, if it lasts here later we are late” I said to him.

That day I tried to get along with him. I tried to accept his dark attitude of not speaking to anyone, and he didn't seem to care if he wasn't noticed by anyone. But I always approached him and tried to be friends with him. Until we were both friends. That moment really made me nostalgic.

"oh, do you want to go home ?" ask her.

he kissed my eel and held my cheek.

"thank you for calming me down today" Yusuf teased me.

"hmm.. both" I replied while blushing in shame.

A few days had passed, I heard Ilyas had already returned to his home with his family. During this semester, we never met. Yusuf and I chatted and called instead of meeting. Until we came back for the 4th semester, I didn't expect Ilyas to be driving to campus. Everyone was surprised because he was using the bike even though the style was as usual until people took it as usual.

"Why but seeing it I guessed. That One Eagle youth can't be ilyas"

"yes too. The style is still so dark. By buying a motorbike, maybe it's the Salary Work that he's been saving"

"anywhere else so far ?. How come he never showed up ?"

"pahl's best friend and friend had such a bad incident, he didn't seem to care"

"basic don't know yourself, Lowly"

"disgusting, you grim person" said people blabbering about him.

Just now that I was about to get close to him, Ita instead came across Luan approaching him

"yoh, Ilyas-Kun" he told ilyas.

"Ita-Chan, why haven't you been to your school yet ?. How will you get in ?" ask Ilyas to Ita.

"Yes that's okay. At least I greeted you first and then went there" Ita replied.

After taking a step, they both saw me and Ita took off Ilyas.

"Aah.... Icha come, I go first ?. Soon night West Bank PBR (Player Battle Royal) again huh ?. Help push rank" said ita leaving Ilyas.

"Yeah... Soon enough Chat aja, later I Log In" reply Ilyas and waved at Ita.

Ilyas approached me after meeting Ita with a smiling face.

"Yoh Ichi, long time no see" he told me.

I was just lashing out at him because during this holiday he didn't give me any news. Even if it's just a friend, he has to tell. He suddenly pinched my cheek and said to me.

"there are red cheeks even bulging like apples. Is there a problem ?" ask Ilyas who bullied me.

"There's no problem. It's just that, the pantes never gave news like before, it turns out often mabar (Main Bareng) Game with Ita yaa ?" ask her.

"Yes, lately for some reason during the holidays he offered me to play the Game, it turns out he played the same Game as me too" Ilyas replied to me.

After I thought, it turned out that it was the method of approach used Ita. I don't know why I'm upset.

"Why in part if not told ?. Morning to afternoon I was studying English Bhs as well as my dad's friend. He said if you want to be a teacher, you must be strong English too. I was learning" ilyas assured me.

But somehow it still feels annoying. Seeing me lash out, Ilyas' tone began to change.

"what do you want, huh ?. Just this time. Why not yesterday ?. At least you feel how I feel when you date with Yusuf and then I am in pekanin?. will stay even though I wait. Don't get me wrong it's your karma" said Ilyas who began to get angry.

And it makes me more irritated and makes my cheeks more red blush until I can't stand my tears a little out.

"Heeehhh !!!!. You cry ?. Sorry dong. Yes yes-yes. I'll be notified later tonight. Don't cry anymore. Here I got Roti Tawar. Let's relax. Would you like to ?" ilyas calms me.

Well he's my best friend so he knows I love bread. So, I nodded and he bribed me with 5 packs of bread.

"Other times do not sulk that is.... ?. Ribet. Just this time too I got you like that" said ilyas calming me down by stroking my head.

I just nodded and plucked the bread Ilyas bought me.

For some reason seeing Ilyas with Ita, my heart was a little sad and dark. All this time, it was okay. But just this time, I felt a puzzling feeling like this before Ilyas.