I'm the One who Lose
Chapter 9

"Hi dear"

The greeting made Angga surprised, he looked at Rini. Her body was cold hot as soon as she saw Rini's face which could not be read her expression.

"From yesterday you didn't come home, so I looked for you here. I miss it too much. Whoa, who's she, baby?"

With her flirtatious style Rania asked Angga while her index finger was pointing at Rini. His voice sounded spoiled and seductive. Rania continues to voice indifference in front of her there is a husband and wife who threatened to destroy her harmony, threatened to destroy her household. Rania entered the house of Angga although not yet invited by the owner of the house, he walked breezed past Rini just like that. Walking closer to Angga and flanking Angga's hands spoiled as if he had been used to doing that. It seems that Angga can not refuse the treatment of Rania to him, even in front of his wife Rini.

"Darling why two days do not come home, the break time is short? is your wife who you say is unattractive and can not satisfy it still suspicious?"

Rania's soft voice sounded like a bolt of lightning in Rini's ear.

"Take him out of this house, and you don't have to worry. From now on you don't have to hide to meet your mistress"

Rini's voice trembled, her chest rising up and down holding back the mounting emotions. The pain, disappointment, and humiliation melted into one to make Rini's heart numb for a moment. Not a single drop of tears flowed out, only a tightness that squeezed the chest had been felt by Rini at this time. His hand was getting tighter holding the door handle to channel his emotions.

"We discuss this well Rin, calm down first"

Angga tried to calm Rini down.

Rini, Angga and Rania sit three-sidedly facing a table on which lie two marriage certificates, a wife's marriage certificate and a husband's marriage certificate. Angga sat down with his head lowered. Rini sat on the single sofa looking at the marriage certificate she had taken from her bedroom closet. While Rania sat quietly, occasionally smiling because she felt on the doorstep of victory. Before Rini came to sit on the sofa she went into the room first, opened her closet drawer where her wedding book was stored. He impatiently picked up the two books and came out following Angga and his affair in the living room. Rini violently slammed the marriage book to make Angga and Rania shocked.

"What does Rin mean?"

Shaking Angga asked.

"We'll just end this housewarming"

Rini said as she sat herself down on the single sofa next to Angga.

"Think about Rin first, we can discuss this well either. For the sake of our children we must defend our household. I admit I was wrong. I've been in a relationship with the other woman behind you"

Angga's hand tried to reach Rini's shoulder but Rini brushed it off violently. Angga then felt Rania's hand that was writhing spoiled in her arms.

"This is Rania, sorry I was in a relationship with her. I...love her"

Angga let out a long sigh, waiting for Rini's reaction. Angga thinks Rini will react to the extreme of hearing the words Angga. He is prepared to protect Rania with his body if Rini attacks Rania physically. But what Angga thought was wrong was great, Rini did nothing. Rini just smiled wryly looking at Angga who was ready to install the body for his woman.

"If you love her, why would you still want to maintain this household. If you do it just for the sake of children alone, there is no love and love for me I am sure it will not work. If indeed I can no longer satisfy you what is the use of me as a wife. I feel like I'm not working, I'm useless. So we better end it, I'm sure the kids will understand when he grows up"

Rini said at length without looking at Angga's face. It felt like she was no longer willing to look at her husband's face, a face that disappointed her many times. The face that he had adored for years but purposely shattered his heart repeatedly.

"Still Rin, there is still love in my heart for you. Even though I love Rania"

"What if I apply for conditions, I want you to leave your mistress behind"

"Get's talk you Rin, don't call Rania a mistress"

Angga slightly bullied Rini, he did not accept Rania was said to be a mistress.

"Then what should I call it?

what's name?

mistress?

"Already Rin. I ask that we can live together, three and also with our children. Is not polygamy permissible in our religion, we can do it. I can't if I'm told to choose between you. I want you two next to me"

"We meet in court, you get out of this house! Now that you don't have to hide to meet your mistress, you're free"

"Don't be your pretentious Rin, this is also my home"

Angga replied fiercely.

"Owh so yeah, well then let me and the kid who came out of this house"

Rini stood up from her seat to pick up the marriage book she had placed on the table earlier, then passed away leaving the two men who destroyed her world today. Rini calls Mak Narmi to help her pack her son's belongings. Hearing that Angga stood chasing after Rini.

"Rin, think about it. Is not the great reward of allowing a husband to remarry. Okay I'm sorry, I was wrong. I cheated on you, I'm sorry"

"Many ways to find the reward mas, looking for the reward does not have to be by torturing the heart so that it interferes with the sanity of the soul"

"Oh Rin, you don't want to fight for this household?"

"Well, I'll hold on but on condition of leaving the woman! end your relationship with him! how's it?"

"Sorry Rin, I can't. I love her"

"Then my struggle is over, I have done many things for the integrity of our household but you.... "

finally the tears that had not come out melted down Rini's cheeks.

"I admit defeat, I've already lost. Maybe it is only up to here our soul mate, please be happy with him. Almost a year ago I saw you with that woman, I ignored my broken heart to stay by your side. I promised myself that I would change everything, I would improve my appearance, take care of my body, press my heart to be patient in whatever you do. Thickened my ears at the insults that came out of my mother-in-law's mouth. All I do is not only for the sake of the child but also because of the magnitude of my love and affection for you. Like a competition I compete with that woman to reclaim your heart. So you can go back to this family, be my priest and son. But it turns out I lost, I gave up, my fight is over. And yes,, thank you for the past few months for making me and the kids happy. There is always time for us, and to pay attention to us. Your sweet treatment made me feel victorious, made me feel like I had managed to bring you back into my arms. But it turns out I was too confident, now I admit defeat"

Rini sat on the edge of the bed, her hands stroking the soft mattress she was sitting on. His memory floated on his hot activities with Angga this morning. Her tears seeped through the corner of Rini's pretty eyes.

"You knew about Rania a year ago? then why are you silent? why aren't you angry or talking to me?"

Angga was surprised by Rini's confession.

"Because I still want to stay by your side, I don't want to trigger a fight between us. I chose to fix myself so you'd see me back. That's why I chose silence. Suppressing my disappointment and heartache for the sake of the integrity of our household"

"If you can accept Rania I promise you'll be fair, you won't lose me. We can stay together"

Angga walked over to Rini and sat down beside her.

"I've decided I've chosen to be a loser in the competition to win your heart"

"You're so stubborn, I'm sorry I let you down"

Angga moved from his seat out of the room, he walked over to Rania who was still in the living room.

****

In one narrow room Rini and her two children lay their bodies. Not only their tired physique but also their heart and mind. The eldest who had begun to understand the condition of his parents also cried in his mother's arms. Rini did bring her children to the boutique. There is a rest room where Rini rests if she is tired of working.

"While we're staying here first yes, the mother promises to soon give you a decent place"

Rini's lips smiled, looking at her two hearts. Contrary to his broken feelings. Now what he thinks is the reaction of the mother if she knows about her failure in building a household.