Love (But)Need Certainty
Something behind something

Romi stared blankly at his desk, his mind flying around, he could not concentrate at all. He played spaghetti on a plate with a fork, twirling the rolls of Italian noodles without eating them. He's been feeling a little weird lately, he's a little more of a thinker than before about women.

He knew the cause of this strange feeling was when Karina talked about men being serious and loyal. At first he thought it was the wind then and just a quick talk. But little by little he thought about the problem.

It is not that it never occurred in his brain about simplifying his relationship with one person only and seriously and faithfully to the surface. At the age of thirty, of course, the idea came and went. But just like the wind then, the idea just passed by thinking and then forgetting. With everything he could do right now, stabilizing his personal relationships was not so important.

When Karina addresses a problem that was less important to Romi, it suddenly has another meaning. It causes other impacts on his mind and soul. Suddenly he realized that he honestly wanted Karina to be so strong. And that strong feeling was now blocked by a wall. Wall to willingly release many hearts that are in his grip all this time.

"I'm so dreamy." rebuked Lasmi with a soft and slow tone that had been sitting next to her since.

"Ah horn.." Romi.

Lasmi the innocent girl then continued to tell me about the situation in her village. He told me that many of his friends in the village have been married this year. Even he said Mr. Tarjo's son held a seven-day and seven-night event and invited people from one village to come.

Romi's head was heavy and his eyes were twitching to hear the wedding story. It was obvious that his intention was to 'seal' their relationship to a certain level.

Romi is confused why lately many are talking about marriage. Maybe because most of his current date has entered the right age to get married. Romi so thought about what next time he sought a date child under twenty years just so as not to be quickly billed married. Or.. this is a sign that it is time for Romi to submit to the destiny of marriage..

Along the way to take Lasmi home he still repeated the story of 'cry' about the wedding event in the village. A little bit Romi started to feel guilty, Lasmi is a good girl, maybe it's time to let go of this girl. She is beautiful, polite, intelligent, smiling, the type that many men think is suitable to be a wife. But what is in the eyes is certainly another with that in the heart....

Upon arrival at the boarding house, Romi immediately threw himself in his bed. He opened his phone and saw some of his whatsapp conversations. Tania has since suddenly disappeared while she was at the restaurant the other day until now she was lost beyond contact. It even seems Romi blocked Tania on whatsapp application. The phone was not picked up. Of course Romi could come to his house and ask for an explanation. But Romi felt it was not the place to ask for an explanation. He felt guilty and sad.

In a row of messages on the phone that is clearly visible is how Sofia is increasingly contacting Romi. Every time Sofia sends a message, Romi always replies as necessary but with courtesy. As a result Sofia so even more often contact Romi. Every time she communicates, nothing important is discussed, Sofia only occasionally tells about the habits in her home. Romi also only talked about his work.

One thing but attached to her brain last night, even with minimal makeup Sofia is indeed beautiful...

But on the other hand still Romi found it difficult to cultivate other feelings in his heart for Sofia.

Suddenly Romi's phone rang fast.this time it is not his smartphone alias that rings. But a simple phone that can only be used SMS and phone just like old-fashioned phones that ring. Only the family knows Romi's number on this phone, other than the family only Rizky and Karina know this number.

"Hello," said Romi cheerfully because the writing 'Mother' was plastered on the screen of his phone.

"Hello.. Have you eaten, son??" his mother said in a hoarse voice across there.

"Already Ma'am," Romi replied subtly. Since long ago what his mother always asked the first time was to have eaten what not.

"Good-good..fluent work?" ask her mother again.

"It's a custom, ma'am.. Healthy mom?"

"Well..is it suitable?"

"Who wants to love the mother of the grandchildren.."

"That's another hehehe process."

"You are.. proseeeeees continues. When is the end?"

"Hehe.." Romi just laughed a little can't respond.

The mother let out a long sigh, she sounded disappointed. "Later if the slow process of the mother hunt no more.."

"Hush! don't tell me that's what this mom is," Romi was surprised. She did not expect her mother to expect that much.

"Later on your last semester break, I have a plan to stop by your boarding house."

"Oh her??"

"Yes, all of you take a walk out of the city, he is a very home-based child.so that he refreshes at all times.."

"Bring up Bu hehe" Romi asked.

"Yes, I'll bring it, I'll cook it first."

The mother and son conversation is over... Romi was happy his mother called. Romi also felt a little guilty because he rarely called his mother first. It's always her mother who calls first.

In addition, Romi was wondering why his mother sounded serious about wanting him to get married. Indeed Romi's age is not so young anymore to play. His mother was old enough to hold a grandchild in her lap. Of course Romi still has the freedom to choose when to do what his mother wants. But Romi also thought about his mother, not necessarily in the future his mother could see him have a family and have children.

Oh, so this is my mind... Romi complained to himself. It feels like the universe is pushing her to become a bride.

Besides, he has no candidate... Or maybe.. indeed the universe told him to get serious with Karina?

The more he thinks the more he can't think clearly. Karina's face was always reflected in her mind interspersed with the shadows of other girls who had been with her.

And it did not feel like he was drifting into a dreamland.. And in the dreamland he turned into a fat man. There he was sitting on the terrace in a wooden chair, and in the yard of his house two children were running. Romi was sure it was his son, and then someone approached him. A woman brought him a glass of water and put it on the table next to her.

Thank you Romi said in his dream. He looked at the woman's face, but he could not see her.. Romi sharpened his gaze even stronger.he still could not see the woman's face....

What a strange dream.....