Love Me, Please
19. Do Not Have Doubts

"You going home now?"

Kayden's voice broke the silence of the burial place. With my eyes squinted, I shook my head.

"Okay, then," he agreed while improving the position. Now he leaned his body on the wall of the tomb, while I—as usual—legged to him. My feet are between his legs which are also stretched out.

The wind blowing softly brought coolness with it. The sunlight peered timidly from behind the swaying leaves.

I don't know how long we've been here, sitting around and just quietly enjoying each other's feelings.

"Why are you here?" I asked with my throat stuck.

"What do you mean, Yang? You don't want me to keep you here?"

"It's not. You know what I mean. Why are you here, Kayden?" I repeated the same question.

"Because you are here. And I want to be with you," she said lightly.

I don't know why the fortitude in his way of speaking pisses me off. "Kayden, you have a game today!" my debate with a slightly elevated tone. I got up and turned to look at him.

He just shrugged his shoulders.

"Kay! You can't do this!" my firmness. A circular clock on the right wrist. "It's still half-four. You can still come. Come on!"

"No!" Kayden shouted back. He pulled me back to sit down. "It's okay, Yang. It's just football."

I was shocked to hear his words. "What's football? Football to you is not just, Kayden! Football is your life!"

He stared at me deeply before shaking his head. "You're wrong," he said no less firmly.

"What?"

"For me football isn't everything, Yang. The most important thing in my life is you."

He could have let out a fist at a time like this. "I know, I know." I responded with origin. "But you can't miss this game. Coach will be mad at you."

"No, no, you don't know," he argued. "You don't understand. If you still mean I made it in the game while you were here, then you don't understand at all about how I feel about you. I don't care about that match, Yang. I don't care if Coach Jordan is going to be as angry as I am. All I care about right now, this second, is you, your feelings. I don't want to miss the opportunity to be there for you in your time of need. I love you. And this is what we supported to do for someone we love. Be there for them, with them."

"Kay, but I ...."

He first cut and fended off me. "No, stop right there. But no. If you want to keep making me leave, I don't want to hear anything else. Now you're the one who's gonna have to beat me." Kayden then cupped my face gently. The blue beads looked brighter and more beautiful under the light of the burning fireball this afternoon.

"You don't know how anxious I was when I took you to class and you knew you weren't there. Then I asked your friends and they were the same. Good thing, Yang, I'm lucky to have the same Mrs. Lekovich. He's the one who told me all the same. Pass me to the parking lot and see your car is not there, I directly toodong the Gyan to take me here.

"And when I saw you sleeping here, Yang? God." God." He nodded and exhaled heavily. Kayden then shook his head briefly before returning his gaze to me. "I understand very well that for you to be a member of the cheerleading team is not just a style to be popular. You love cheering. You love dancing, because it makes you feel closer to your mother. But, honey, all you have to understand is that being a team member is not the only way to get close to your late mama. There are many other ways.

"And one more thing, they can get you out and find a replacement for the new captain, but they won't be able to find a replacement for you. You have a gift in dancing. You're special. It's them who lost by kicking you out, honey. Mrs. Lekovich told me the same thing."

Did ya? Is that really what Weston said? I .. I don't know what to say. "Yeah?" ask me to be convinced, ask to be convinced.

Okay, then. Still, it made me turn my eyes. How dare he promise in the name of Scouts when never once a member. His heart was tempted to tease him. "Aren't you lying?" my pancake while maintaining a grim expression.

"Yes, Yang." Kayden immediately dismissed the allegations. "When have I ever lied to you?"

Gotchas. "When you say you don't cry when we watch The In-Between. I see your tears, really. You are the only one who does not want to say," I explained with a contrived indifference.

Kayden looked a little surprised. His shady eyes now turned frantic. "Shxth. You see, huh?" rest before finally chuckling. "OK, okay. I ngaku, deh. Yesterday I was crying. That's a really sad movie, Yang. Aye, right? Don't you? Which is! Aye, right?"

"Yes, yes," I replied, chuckling. Can't bear to see Kayden's handsome face pleading for rescue from the fact that she actually shed tears while watching a movie she calls "girl movie". If I could, I would have quoted the sentence directly at that time. "Cowok macho like me won't be affected the same as that."

And look what had happened. A macho guy like him ends up crying too.

I felt a difference in the air. The atmosphere felt more calm. Chest feels more relieved. Breathing more loose. The mind becomes more spacious. And I know why.

I see him as the reason for all that.

Kayden smiled before landing small kisses on my forehead, eyes and cheeks, nose tops, to the end of my lips. "A little bit better now?"

I took a deep breath and held both arms around her neck. "So much better. Thank you." - Thank you."

He hugged me back. "Anything for you, darling. I love you, and I promise you anything. I really mean it."

"I love you." And I really mean it too.

"So, where are you going now? Going home?" Kayden asked as I let go.

I'm shaking. Scroll my iWatch again. "Where's your gear?"

"In the school locker" he said, tilting his head, a little confused.

"Go to school if so. We'll take your gear and unplug it to Palmdale. Still an abomination, really. The game, right, starts at seven."

Surprise colored his face water. "Which, don't do it. Let's go back, or coffee first. No need to go to Palmdale. I don't want you to be a paper anymore."

Praise be to the Lord who created Weston with a heart as big as an ocean. "No, Yang. I want you to fight. And I promise I won't baper-panan later there."

His eyes probed every corner of my face. Look for signs that may indicate a lie between us. "You sure?" ask Kayden at the end.

"One hundred," I said steadily. "I love you, Kayden James Ford. And like you, I will do anything for the one I love."

His smile slowly expands. The radiated luster beats the beautiful reflection of the Los Angeles sun in the famous beautiful sea. "Thank you so much, dear."

Kayden stood up, then reached out to pull me up. Together we faced Mama. "Hi, Aunt. Sorry can be done now. After that was busy persuading him, nih," always while elbowing my arm. I touched him with my shoulder. "Quiet in heaven, Auntie. Let me take care of Niki here. I will take care of him with my best efforts. Auntie don't have any doubts about that."

"Bye, Mama. I'll see you soon. Love you." - Love you."

To be continued ....