Love Me, Please
54. Okay

The claw caught from his voice seemed very familiar, putting me in an awkward state and of course making kagok. I ... am too unusual to deal with things like this.

However, it also feels impolite not to say something after the confession Beck made. "Ng, sorry. I don't know what else to comment," I'm too honest.

He looked at me and laughed. "Lo this is really, yeah."

I didn't mind his comment. I stood up and walked over to the study table that was right behind his back in the arcade. "Eat, yuk, ah! Just be hungry" take me with a slice of sandwich and a bowl of salad before bringing it to the bed.

"Lo seriously want to eat there?" Beck asked, astonished and a little disgusted at the water on his face.

"Why?" I asked back.

"So bad, you're a girl."

I bit my tunes sandwich again voraciously. "I thought so. If the sheets are dirty, yes, just wash, really. Easy."

"It's not a dirty thing and it's his grandson, Dodol. But, the matters of decency ethics." Beckham has again argued.

"So? I'm just the same, not the president and the first lady. After all, life is complicated, bro. Don't be made up by worrying about small things!" I then patted my hands to clean the crumbs attached to the fingertips. With my mouth still chewing on the vegetable mixture, I continued. "Why so serious? The world is too uncontrollable for us to think about. Yeah, no, huh?"

Beck was still looking at me with a frown on his forehead.

"What?" ask again.

A stifled lump escaped his lips. He shook his head again. After fixing the location of the glasses, he leaned in with his hands lying on his thighs. With that pair of dark, deep, and mysterious beads she looked at me past-goals. "If that's true, why do you still like overthink and pretend to be happy?"

Deg. He didn't just say that. "What, the hell, you mean?" I tried to bring attention back to the food in front of me.

I heard Beck take a deep breath. "Nikita," he called to warn. "Not that. You don't have to pretend to be me. I understand, I do."

"What, anyway, Beck? I don't understand. Don't be kinky, deh!" tell again.

This time I could feel his gaze on my open skin. I'm sure he's back to me with those two dark, understanding balls. Too caught off guard by this feeling, I finally raised my head. He looked at me right at my eyes. It only took a few seconds and I ended up with a subdued look to avoid his really sharp observation. It was as if his gaze could pierce through the bundle of skin and flesh surrounding me and see what was inside the bone marrow.

I feel like I'm stripped.

The statement just made me even more uncomfortable.

"Everyone knows that I was born to a couple of successful and amazing doctors." He started.

From behind my eyelashes I saw Beck who again had leaned his body back into the seat support. His head looked up, his eyes closed. His facial expression became stiff.

"Who, anyway, doesn't know Doctor Geraldino and Barbara Pierce? A couple of doctors married inside and outside the hospital. Who managed to help many families with their cold hands in the surgical room. But, the mystery is, they are determined to help families except families that they make themselves. As doctors who managed to bring back their patients from the gates of death, what they did to their own children was the opposite.

"They're never home. Always in the hospital, or in the seminar rooms, or in the convention center with thousands of people who flatter their greatness and greatness. Even if it was in the building they bought to go home, all they did was rest or be busy together. From childhood I used to grow up with babysitters. And Lita, my call to abuelites, who when I was a kid were still able to commute between Mexico and Los Angeles at any time with Lito, my abuelito. As Abuelito began to get sickly, not wrong when I was ten years old, Lita began to rarely come here. After Lito died, Lita also started to get sick and never came here again.

"Gue still remembers, on his last visit, Lita once told me that if I should be able to do everything myself, I should be an independent child. Nothing in this world is reliable except ourselves. So, I think I'm too fond of Lita's message to be like this. On the one hand, I thank Abuelita who likes to give messages to me even though I was too small, too innocent, too stupid to know the meaning. I'm also really grateful, among all things, that my brain chooses to remember is the phrase I need most years later.

"Gue is usually considered to be nothing like the people who should be concerned about me, Niki. I usually don't care about them either. Before this, whatever they did still managed to make me hurt, angry, vengeful. But, now, there is only .. empty. We fought, you know. Great until finally Barb—that's true, I called them by their respective names, ' he said, I don't remember the last time I called them with a title that they obviously didn't deserve to see, and I know that they never actually planned to have children. However, because of the social standards that "mandate" married couples to have children to be considered perfect, they decided to do so. And be me now."

Beck chuckles bitterly. "Then I learned desperately to shape my own life. And, once again, I owe it to Lita and Lito. Two people who are closer to me than anything in this world leave all their possessions as a legacy for me who is indeed my only grandson. With the capital money and assets from them, I applied for emancipation to the court at the age of sixteen."

I really don't trust hearing. Therefore, I suddenly screeched. "What?"

He opened his eyes to look at me for a moment before squinting again. A faint smile was born on his lips. "Not everyone knows the reality that Doctor Gerald and Barb desperately cover. And, yeah. According to the State of California, I've been "adult" from a year ago."

This is truly astounding. Not only about what Beckham just spewed, but also about him who just vented that many words on one occasion. "Wow, Beck. I don't know what to say."

She laughs. Really laugh.

"Lo's funny about it." He chimed.

The more confused I was. "Funny where?"

"Lo's outspoken nature."

My eyebrows shot up, challenging him and his statement. "Why? Don't you like it?"

Beck refused. "Gue didn't say that."

I rolled my eyeballs. Fucking weird. "Whateverb. I like not liking it I don't care. I'm obviously this is how it is."

"Basic lo!"

"Lod."

Silence enveloped for a moment. For a number of times, we both spent it struggling in each other's minds.

"Why?" Beck asked at the end.

I looked at him. "Why what?"

"Why are you?"

"What do you mean?" I asked back, really do not understand where this conversation is facing.

He turned back to me with his deep eyes. "Why are you pretending?"

Like someone made my heart like a drum and beat it strong. I .... Suddenly the empty bowl still on my lap looked more alluring.

"Hey," called Beckham softly, with a voice that also sounded closer. Wheeled chair legs know already in the area of vision. "Gue just wanted to say that if it's me, you don't have to pretend to be okay. Okay?"

Now it's my turn to question the reason. "Why?"

He smiled thinly. "Because fighting against yourself is difficult, especially if you do it alone. And you need all the support you can get. Especially from the closest people."

"But we're not close people" I argue.

"Lo's right." Beck agrees. "We're not close, at least not yet. But, I am the only person who is here at the moment."

I looked at Beck in surprise, again unable to understand what he meant.

"Just ... let's be friends, yeah?" In the ark, he concluded.

"Friends?" I repeated the word somewhat awkwardly.

"Yeah, friends." However, it did not seem to be with the young man before me. He looked sure of what was coming out of his mouth.

I'm considering the offer. I really considered. Even though I have a few"friends", I can admit that none of them have had the experience I had. None of them understood my position now, who understood what I was feeling. Just Beck.

Something inside me instantly bloomed. I don't know what it is, but I love the sensation it causes. That's why I said what I said in the end. "Okay."

Beck again curled his lips upwards. With the light of a smile that managed to illuminate my entire face, Beckham Lee Pierce looked very, very, very charming. "Okay."

To be continued ....