Love Me, Please
32. Look at Me

"Yes, same. Just like what you are willing to do for me, I am also here for you. If you have something you want to share, I will try to be a good listener. About whatever it is."

Silent greeting at a glance. Then Kayden cleared his throat. "Yeah, about that," he said. He sounded a little doubtful.

"What is it?" I asked gently, encouraging her to tell a story. It's not fair, nothing in the world is fair, but it's better than Kayden's attention, and my guilt, taking over the atmosphere. Now, by shifting the subject to him, I have reason not to get too late in my own feelings.

"There is one thing I want to discuss with you, anyway" Kayden said in Kalakian, without having to think for long.

I turned back. "Yes? About what, Yang?"

"Ng .. anu." He bit his soft lower lip.

My left eyebrow is up. The mind that the swimmer-check just automatically leads to one article. Could it be that what he meant was? The answer that turned out to be out of the estimate that he really discussed the problem.

"But, you have to promise first that you won't get angry" he continued.

My right eyebrow is now joined high up on my forehead. "Why angry?" I don't know why my voice suddenly shook.

"Yes, about that, Beb. Ngg, anu. Anu. Eh."

I quickly looked away, not wanting Kayden to read what was floating in the water. I don't know how the conversation that I started to talk about talent scouts became such a problem.

Is the anu it means is? Did ya? Did ya? But .. but, we've agreed that we won't do it before school. At least until we go to college and have our own place to live.

So what makes Kayden think about it now? Why would she want to talk about this just a few months before graduation? What prompted him to change his mind? Is he impatient to wait Is ...?

What ...? I should what? If he really wants "that" to happen soon, what should I do? Must how? It feels ... it feels ....

Me ... I ....

Do you believe if I say that this half-hearted also wants to do, taste the taste that other friends like to grill, but the other half is against the will? Because .... Because what? The principle? The joint deal we made? Or just because I don't feel ready?

Whatever it is ....

What the heck, World? The complexity of the head about what previously existed was replaced by confusion about other things. Can't you stop feeding this life?

What's the fxck, Niki? Why are you beating me up? Obviously you yourself who make your life complicated with an over-thinking attitude and bad think it.

What the ...? Has anyone just spoken? Wh who? How could?

Good Lord! Don't tell me I started hearing voices that were actually just inside my own brain.

Squeeze eyes. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. As slow as possible so Kayden didn't realize that I was just busy contemplating. That I heard a voice that I don't know who's in this head. Why does my mind have to go there anyway? Who told you to? Who told Kayden to speak using anu .. anu? Argha! "That's what, Yang? Anu-anu what, anyway?" push me impatiently.

"I don't know how to say it. Ng, anu, Yang," he repeated.

Oh, God. Pleases. Not another one again. "say what? Anu, anu. You help, huh?" accuse me of patting Kayden on the back. Finally I decided to choose the joking path and end the speculation that has been coming here, diverting my thoughts again. Alu is not strong if I have to serve my brain that hobbies work too hard every day like this.

"No! What the what, Yang? How do you say that?" his protest.

He tightened his pagutan, anxious. "Originally you know, yes, the only thing I ever stole was your heart."

I quickly disputed his statement. "Where do you know that you have stolen my heart? Who knows I'm the one who volunteered, right?"

"Jiaah." Jiaah." Kayden chuckles. "Smart dad is also her."

"Yes, dong," selorohku. "The perk of being with the most cheesy boyfriend on the whole wide world."

"Huh, you, yeah." The pinching of my waist is smooth. "I am, right, joking around for you. Let you laugh."

I did manage to make him giggle. "Yes, yeah. Thank you." - Thank you." Breath becomes a respite. "I'm so happy with you" I said in the end, from the bottom of my heart.

"Thank you, honey. It makes me happy to know that I can make you happy."

Yeah, he's perfect. And he's mine. I don't know what I did right in my previous life, but I thank my lucky star for him. "So, what, dong?" ask me after receiving the expression of gratitude that Kayden conveyed through the murmuring of his tongue. "If you don't help, you ... cheat, huh?"

The blue eyes were round, big. "What the heck? Which is! No, I will not! Never!" sergeant Kayden was riled up and full of disbelief. "How could you say that?"

Well, the intent is still to be funny, what is the power of the wrong topic. "Eh, sorry, sorry, yang. I was just kidding. Sorry." which." I repeatedly apologized nervously.

He snorted. "Yes, I know. But, you think that's a good joke? No, Yang. I'm serious, yes, I'll never hurt you. Moreover, destroying you by doing things that are completely not manly so. Fxck these fxcking puxsy who did that."

"Yes, I'm sorry. I know," I regret it anyway.

The young man then placed my chin between his thumb and right index finger, then turned my face until our eyes met. "So, please, remove that word from our relationship dictionary. Okay? I don't want to hear you say that again. Ever. You hear me?"

"yeah. Okay," I promise. "Sorry." I apologize for the umpteenth time.

"Good." Kayden nodded as soon as he was satisfied to see whatever he was looking for in the radiance of my face.

"So ...."

He took a long breath. "So," greet. "I don't know how you're going to respond to this, but, please, listen to me first. Okay?"

Now it's my turn to nod. I then held up my thumb, pretending to put an imaginary zipper on my lips, and threw away the key carelessly.

The most perfect boyfriend in the world was chuckling and flicking the top of my nose. "Coach said there was a scout coming into the game at Palmdale yesterday to see my game."

"It's actually already indicated" Kayden continued, making quotes with his fingers as he said the word indication, "By Coach Jordan from far away. Since preseason training. But, at that time I was not too dizzy, he wanted to focus on the same love that was best for the team. Well, after yesterday's game, he just said it again."

He grinned, laughing at what was in his own mind. I just quietly watched, trying to show the most neutral reaction possible. Or as neutral as I bjsa because I already know what to say. "I was told to start thinking about my career in the future. I had a chance to discuss at a glance Mama about this, and fortunately Mama supports. He said it's good that I started looking around other colleges besides Harvard."

You heard it right, ladies and gentlemen. Kayden is sure to be one of the lucky few to be a Harvard Business School student, just like his father, Mr. Nicholas Ford's. Her future had been well-organized ever since Kay's parents planned her presence.

Now look at me. I don't know where I'll be after graduation. Let alone to compete with those smart people, struggling with calculus alone I still can not afford.

To be continued ....