Loving Saleha's Bodyguard
Dilemmas

Sawn looked at his office that was in a mess by the tearing of paper that Raina threw. He threw his tall body on the sofa, while he thought of every sentence he made to the sweet girl.

As Sawn's heart grew agitated, he saw his girl leaving with a cry that still had not dried up from her net.

Did I really go too far...? Lirih Sawn slowly. Sawn continuously sighed withstanding the weight of his heart. He was still sitting on the sofa in his solitude when Robin barged in without his permission.

"Basic has no feelings. What did you do to make Raina take off....." Robin's words stalled in his throat when he saw Sawn's messy room, which made Robin's face look even more frustrating, really frustrating, in no way reflects a successful entrepreneur who is loved by every parent who wants to make him a dream son-in-law.

"What's wrong with this kid, is he possessed by a demon? All this time it's the first time I've seen him this stable." Said Robin slowly hoping Sawn didn't hear what he said.

Sawn looked at Robin with a sharp glare while throwing a pillow at random.

Platyakk!

A pillow landed right on Robin's flat face. Seeing Sawn's annoyed look, Robin pretended to smile while scratching his non-itchy head.

"What's wrong with you? I came here to see Raina crying. Are you fighting with women now? And what are all these papers scattered about?" Robin tries to find the answer from Sawn's eyes, unfortunately there is nothing there but despair.

Hhhhm! Sawn sighed deeply as he moved from his seat, hoping that Robin would not ask anything because he himself did not know what answer he had to give.

"Can I ask...?"

"T-I-D-A-K!" Sawn replied affirming as he moved his hand towards the door. I hope Robin leaves soon and doesn't bother her with the same question.

"alright. Since I am a good friend, I will leave you alone. Don't do anything weird." Said Robin as he left Sawn who was still standing beside a neatly arranged bookcase in his office.

Sawn threw his tall body again on the sofa, he tried to close his eyes hoping that all that happened was just a dream. Unfortunately, the louder he tried to blow the incident the stronger Raina's crying voice in her ear.

Oh Allah... Lirih Sawn slowly.

He called the name of the Lord whom he had forgotten for a long time. It signified how unstable he was at this time, hoping that by calling a name that power would calm his heart.

Allazina amanu wa tatma innu qulubuhum bizikrillah, ala bizikrillahi tatma innul-qulub

(Yes) those who believe and have their hearts at ease with the remembrance of Allah. Remember, only by remembering God does the heart become serene. (Qs. Ar-Rb: 28).

...***...

Dusk had just emerged from her contest as Raina moved from her seat. Looking for the nearest masjit to perform Magrib prayer, many things he will explain. It felt that the hot lava in his heart would paralyze his wits.

Who wouldn't want to see Sawn all the time? He's good-looking. Many women wanted it. All the qualities a woman needs to be Queen are in her hands.

But she is Raina, a simple woman who always keeps the principles of her life.

A woman's self-esteem lies in how she looks after herself. And that's the price of death for him.

Staying with a man without ties? And the threat to his loved ones felt like mud drowning him deep. To breathe alone is painful, if he does not bring out all the grievances in his heart to his Lord, then to whom will he return?

Again Raina shed tears, immediately she wiped with the back of her hand hoping that the passersby around her were unaware of the pain of her deepest heart.

Tiit.tiit.

His phone shook, he saw the word 'Dear mother' plastered there. But Raina chose to ignore him because she did not want her mother to know the screams of her heart.

The most painful thing for Raina right now, she misses her mother but she cannot see and hear her voice.

Allahu akbar... Allah akbar.

Ashadualla ilaha.

Ashadu anna Muhammadar the Prophet.

Azan's voice echoed from the application on Raina's phone, not wanting to dissolve in his taste scheme, he immediately left the park he occupied for the last five hours.

Ten minutes later Raina entered the mosque located near the highway. His congregation is not too much, there are only a few women who become makmum. The male congregation consisted of only two saffes standing behind the priest.

Allah Akbar...

All worshipers dissolve in the late latunan surah Al-Jumu'ah which is recited by the priest. No tears Raina spilled back wet the mucus she used.

...***...

"It's late, why hasn't the kid come home yet. Did he forget his way home...?" Lirih bu Rahayu while throwing her body on the living room sofa facing the gate.

"Mbak yu.mbak yu, Raina is already big, soon Raina is home." Reply Ms. Romlah while smiling to see her brother's behavior that began to be impatient.

"Don't you not believe him!It's just a little worried, afraid that the crybaby will cry somewhere."

"Drugless? Eeee..It's impossible." Said Romlah did not believe.

"What is impossible Rom...? I was so scared to see the boy cry. Seeing him cry makes me creep." Tears began to drip from the corner of Rahayu's eyes. Mom Romlah understood the anxiety of her brother. He hugged Rahayu while patting her shoulder slowly.

"What's the fear mbak yu because of Chen? Chen is calm. Ma'am Yu doesn't have to worry anymore."

Hhhhm! Ms. Rahayu sighed while looking at Ms. Romlah's face, trying to find an answer there, whether she could trust her wise sister's words. Why does he want to believe it, but fear still haunts him, as if fear had become his true friend.

...***...

Raina sat quietly on top of the bed while raising both her hands.

Oh my God, I came to knock on your door. Your mercy, your blessings, and your forgiveness. Guide my footsteps towards you. Hold tight my hand, and don't let me get lost on the way.

Raina started crying in her do'a.

Yes Alah.

A woman's heart is like glass. If the glass is broken, it cannot be repaired. My heart is not as firm as Sayyidah Fatimah Azzahra, I am so weak that I can no longer stand.

Raina sobbed in her do'a. Fortunately, no one will hear the moans of his heart except his Lord.

God, I shouldn't play with my feelings. If I hadn't fallen in love I probably wouldn't have been this sick. The man, with his harsh words, dared to threaten in the name of my beloved family. What should I do my Lord? Give me firmness in making the best choice according to your guidance.

O Allah. I take refuge in you from anxiety and sadness. And I take refuge in you from the weakness and arbitrariness of men.

O God, You are my God. There is no God but you. You created me and I am your servant. I keep your promise as much as I can. I take refuge in you from the evil of my actions. I confess many favors (Thou didst grant) to me, and I confess my sins, so forgive me. For no one can forgive sins but you.

Raina ended her grievances with all expectations beyond the vastness of the ocean. The dilemma he had felt seemed to evaporate into space. With all his confidence and total soulfulness to the Lord who grasped his life, he believed everything would be fine. He put his phone in his bag and wrote a short message.

I have something to say. Where can we meet?

Hhhuuuhhh...! Raina let out a sigh of relief. Reading the reply message he received.

I'm office. Come then.