Marrying Sergeant Major
~ 10 ~

After dinner, I helped my mom wash all the dishes, and then we gathered in the living room to enjoy almonds.

Almost an hour we spent watching the news, papi and mami finally came home.

"Oma chest, opa chest, be careful!" lala shouted as the car carrying my in-laws slowly began to drive away from the house of Bima mas.

We entered after the gate was closed perfectly by the security guard who also went straight home because his working hours ended.

Mas Jim will come back tomorrow morning to keep the house while the house is empty because I and Bima went to work.

****

20:55 WIB.

Right now Lala and I are lying on their sides facing each other in Lala's bedroom bed.

I was sleeping Lala who was always babbling before going to bed. Sometimes singing, telling stories, sometimes I babble advising him.

"So someone peed in class, bun ... His name is Denias"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes, he didn't say if he wanted to pee, so he peed in his pants"

"Lala if you want to pee talk to your mother who is at school" I said reminded. "Don't hold it, his stomach will hurt"

"Yes, Lala always talks to Lisa's mother"

"Smart kid" I put his nose soft.

After I praised her, suddenly Lala slightly got up, propping up her body with both knees, her hands flicking her long hair behind her ears.

"Dad?"

"Not slept?" ask Mas Bima who I don't know what her face looks like.

I who sleep tilted back against the door of the room that was wide open, did not know Bima mas came if only Lala did not call him.

"Not yet" Lala replied.

Mas Bima walked to erode the distance, visible very clearly from the reflection of his shadow that was getting closer to me.

While I remained in my position, tilting my back to the Bima mas.

I dare not look back because I saw his face, making me remember the night that upset me.

"Dad want to accompany Lala bobo?"

"You want to accompany me?" ask Bima bima back, who knew already sitting on the edge of the bed right behind me.

"You!" lala girang replied.

"Yes, now bobo, it's night!"

Lala broke down after hearing her father's orders. Her hands were coiled around my stomach which I immediately responded by hugging her.

"Mother!"

"Hm"

"Mother is bobo?"

"Yet" I whispered. Maybe it was because I closed my eyes, so Lala asked.

"But when you're bristling, there's a bun father, I want to accompany Lala bobo"

"Then it's bobo, okay!"

"Eugghs"

I rubbed his back gently, normalizing my increasingly irregular heartbeat.

I don't know in what order Bima can sit behind my back. Or it seems like he was deliberately pranking me, maybe he knew that I would definitely be this clumsy if I were nearby.

When Bima's hand was stretched out and passed over my body, the heat immediately attacked me mercilessly, when obviously there was an AC that I turned on earlier after helping Lala brush her teeth.

My heart grew kebat-kebit when Bima's hand rubbed the back of Lala's head repeatedly.

A few seconds passed, Bima pulled his hand back, but did not immediately make me relieved, because in the next second Bima mas sound.

"After Lala goes to sleep, we continue the unfinished conversation a few nights ago"

I closed my eyes, trying hard to calm my heart.

"Isn't our conversation over?" lirihku because he did not want to wake Lala who seemed to have begun drifting through the dreamland.

"Which part is finished if you just leave. It doesn't have that ethic called"

Mas Bima said I had no ethics just because I left it in the dining room. Then what is the right nickname for a husband like him?

Did he not realize that his attitude was even worse than me who just ended the conversation without a word?

"I wait in the middle room" said mas Bima who made my daydream immediately messy. The man got up before finally moving from Lala's room.

I did not respond to his words just now, because I was peeping Lala's head which was breathing more regularly. I'm sure Lala's gone bad.

Slowly, I move up. Get out of Lala's room after previously enveloping Lala and put a pillow on the edge of the bed to prevent Lala from falling.

Taking a slow breath, I exhaled slowly.

My breath went back to long as my steps almost reached the middle room.

There, there is already a Bima mas who is sitting while watching the show on tv.

To be honest, there was a feeling of uneasiness that I put on my sidelines, but I was trying to get rid of it.

When I reached the livingroom, Bima immediately turned off the tv.

I swallowed my own saliva while I moved my seat.

As soon as I sat down, Bima immediately changed her sitting position to face me, by folding one leg, while her back leaned on the armrest of the sofa. He let one of his legs stay on the floor.

I'm nervous to be scared. My palms even sweat so much.

Many times I gulped to neutralize this turbulent taste in my chest. The feeling that makes me uncomfortable

"This world is the place of Amal Arimbi, not the place to be upset" Mas Bima said it as if he knew that I was upset.

"This world is his field of reward, not for harboring hatred" Hearing the second sentence from him, I reflexively raised my gaze. I felt there was a little courage to reject his holy words.

"If indeed the world is a place to collect merit" I said as I tried to calm the heartbeat. "Why didn't I fulfill my duties as a husband?" I know where my courage comes from. 

Mas Bima raised one eyebrow as soon as I returned his gaze for a moment.

"Ibligation as a husband" This cold man said it while leaning forward, and his attitude made me spontaneously shift my two positions.

Bima Mas also shifted, it made my heart lose its rhythm even more.

"You want me to give you your rights as a woman I mentioned by name when Ijab qobul?"

I could no longer shift because I had stuck to the armrest on the sofa, all I could do was swallow my own saliva, which was like a lump of stone in my throat.

For a moment, I really regretted what I said.

"You want me to do my duty as your husband to give you an inner living, do you? What if I don't do it for love? For it is possible, or only because of lust. How you feeling?"

Is it because Bima can never love me, and she does not want to be a depraved man for touching me just for the sake of his lust?

Ah, whatever it is, it's still not true. I deflected the thoughts I made myself.

"Bi's aircrew!"

I was still flinching in the original position, locking my mouth tightly.

Suddenly, Bima's hand pulled my chin for me to turn and look at her.

"Let's see me" he said, because I threw a glance at another object.

"Look at me Bi!"

I was forced to ventured after three seconds to bring our net together.

"You know how I felt about you when we got married, don't you, Arimbi?"

I'm nodding.

"What?" Ask the Bima. Just one word but it sounds sarcastic.

"Mas doesn't love me" I replied after I swallowed the saliva again somehow.

"That's why I don't want to touch you, Arimbi. Because I am not a man who fulfills my desires only because of lust, not because of love. Why does such a thing not understand?"

"Lantas, if you don't love me, why keep me in this house?"

"Because I made a pact with mommy"

"A pact?" Suddenly there was pain in there.

"I warned you before" said Bima without guilt. "You, I warn you again? All right, if that's what you want"

I was silent, back down because Bima's hand had been released from my chin.

"Listen Arimbi" His tone sounded relaxed yet terrifying. "I agree with this marriage, because indeed the agreement I made with my mother, has nothing to do with feelings or anything. So don't involve your heart in this relationship"

I feel like I want to cry after hearing the words of Bima mas. He's a really heartless man.

I did accept whatever she felt for me when I married her, even her hatred. With confidence, I will be able to make her fall in love with me.

But, after two more years had passed, was my sincerity in caring for Lala unable to make her see me at all?

"You know how I felt when I married you, do you want us to do it now?"

"Do I have to resist it if it makes me sin, mas? if so" I paused my words, because otherwise I would have cried. "Punish me, then I'll get out of here, because I don't want to commit the sin I intentionally committed"

Not wanting to hear the answer, I immediately got up from my seat.

Before I set foot, Bima hurriedly grabbed my wrist.

"Where are you going?"

"It looks like there's nothing more we need to talk about, ma'am"

"Sit down, we're not done yet"

"Sorry, I'm tired, I'm going to take a break"

"I said sit down!" jak mas Bima with high tone.

"Dad!"

Seriate.

Because what I'm presenting is inner conflict, so the plot I made like this huh, slow down!

Bored ones can immediately leave without leaving a bad trace that makes me hurt 😩

Who still wants to read, come. Later if there are still many interests, I can make the next part.

Thanks for the support...

Big hug's...